Setting goals, writing down your goals and daily reading them aloud isn’t always enough to successfully accomplish the goals.

If you don’t believe you’re the kind of person who can achieve the goals you have, then no amount of writing them down or reading them aloud is going to inspire you to take action.

If you want to learn how to commit to your goals in the long-term, you have to develop an identity that drives the behaviors and develop the habits you need to achieve them.

This is what the long-term commitment individuals do. They believed they would play their musical instrument or play football for the rest of their lives (regardless of whether that was true or not).

They didn’t perceive themselves as individuals playing musical instruments or playing football as an extra-curricular activity – they perceived themselves as musicians or football players.

How to Create a New Identity

Your identity is who you are. This is not to be left to other people’s judgments, it’s to be left to your own. You’re not defined by your appearance, your job description or your past. In any moment, you can redefine who you are.

This is done by:

• Defining who you want to be (“I’m a musician” or “I’m a football player”).
• Taking action and creating reference points that justify your new belief. (“I am a musician because I practice every day”).

When you think of taking action, the smaller the better. Why? Because small actions don’t intimidate you to start and therefore are easier to do – consistently. When you consistently take action, you create more momentum and it’s easier to move towards your goals.

It’s common to define who you are by saying: “I am”.

If you look at any “I am” preface you use to describe who you are, it will often connote a lot about what you do as well. A good rule of thumb to use is:

1. Associate “I am” prefaces to positive behaviors you want and
2. Disassociate “I am” prefaces from negative behaviors you don’t want.

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon: “I am a runner, therefore I run” is better than: “I am training to run a marathon, therefore I have to run” (notice how “have to” makes it sounds like a chore?).

When a behavior is linked to your identity, it drives your behavior.

Conversely, if your goal is to learn how to break a bad habit and replace it with a better one, it’s better to dis-identify with a negative behaviour.

For example, “the last diet I tried failed” is better than “the last diet I tried failed, therefore I am a failure”.

When you redefine who you are with a new, empowering “I am” preface, you feel the need to take action: failure to do so would mean you’re a liar (and no one wants to be a liar). When you decide: “I am a musician” or “I am an author” you have no choice but to make music or write books.

Here’s are a few more examples:

If your goal is to write a book, you’re a writer, therefore you write.

If your goal is to lose 14 pounds, you’re a healthy eater, therefore you eat healthy (doesn’t this have a better connotation than “dieter” or “weight-watcher”?)

References:

1. Sam Thomas Davies, A Tiny, Powerful Idea: How ‘Identity-Based’ Habits Shape Behavior, Sam Thomas Davies, May 29, 2023.
2. Coyle, D. The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born: It’s Grown. New York: Bantam, 2009.

Identity is largely concerned with the question: “Who are you?” What does it mean to be who you are?

Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career).

Identity can be seen as a person’s sense of self, established by their unique characteristics, affiliations, and social roles. Moreover, identity has continuity, as one feels to be the same person over time despite many changes in their circumstances.

The seeds of identity are planted during a person’s childhood when their caregivers influence them the most.

Yet, as individuals transition from childhood to adolescence, they start questioning who they are and how they fit in society. Hence, adolescents set out to discover their senses of self by experimenting with different roles and behaviors (Erikson, 1956).

Although adults continue to reassess their identities throughout their lives, the changes to their identities are relatively small. Therefore, according to the famous psychologist Erik Erikson, this significant identity development during adolescence is essential for forming a solid self-concept and developing a direction in life (Erikson, 1956).

A solid sense of identity means that you know who you are, what you value, and how you see yourself in society. There are many components of your identity, such as religious, political, and gender, among others, and knowing yourself fully is essential to feel integrated into society. ​

References:

1. Erikson, E. H. (1956). The problem of ego identity. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 4, 56–121.
2. Eser Yilmaz, M.S., Ph.D., Identity: Definition, Types, & Examples, Berkeley Well-Being Institute,

“Your identity is a set of physical, mental, emotional, social, and interpersonal characteristics that are unique to you.” ~ Very Well Mind

Your identity gives you your sense of self. It is a set of traits that distinguishes you from other people, because while you might have some things in common with others, no one else has the exact same combination of traits as you.

What defines identity?

Identity encompasses the values people hold, which dictate the choices they make.

An identity contains multiple roles—such as a mother, teacher, and U.S. citizen—and each role holds meaning and expectations that are internalized into one’s identity.

Identity continues to evolve over the course of an individual’s life.

Identity formation involves three key tasks:

• Discovering and developing one’s potential,
• Choosing one’s purpose in life, and
• Finding opportunities to exercise that potential and purpose.

Identity is also influenced by parents and peers during childhood and experimentation in adolescence.

Your identity is a set of physical, mental, emotional, social, and interpersonal characteristics that are unique to you.

It encapsulates your core personal values and your beliefs about the world, says Asfia Qaadir, DO, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at PrairieCare.

Is Personality Genetic?

Identity Development Across the Lifespan
Identity development is a lifelong process that begins in childhood, starts to solidify in adolescence, and continues through adulthood.

Childhood — Childhood is when we first start to develop a self-concept and form an identity.

As children, we are highly dependent on our families for our physical and emotional needs. Our early interactions with family members play a critical role in the formation of our identities.

During this stage, we learn about our families and communities, and what values are important to them, says Dr. Qaadir.

Adolescence  — Adolescence is a critical period of identity formation.

As teenagers, we start to intentionally develop a sense of self based on how the values we’re learning show up in our relationships with ourselves, our friends, family members, and in different scenarios that challenge us, Dr. Qaadir explains.

Adolescence is a time of discovering ourselves, learning to express ourselves, figuring out where we fit in socially (and where we don’t), developing relationships, and pursuing interests, says Dr. Qaadir.
This is the period where we start to become independent and form life goals.

It can also be a period of storm and stress, as we experience mood disruptions, challenge authority figures, and take risks as we try to work out who we are.

Adulthood  — As adults, we begin building our public or professional identities and deepen our personal relationships, says Dr. Qaadir.

These stages are not set in stone, rather they are fluid, and we get the rest of our lives to continue experiencing life and evolving our identities, says Dr. Qaadir.

The Importance of Identity — Having a strong sense of identity is important because it:

• Creates self-awareness: A strong sense of identity can give you a deep sense of awareness of who you are as a person. It can help you understand your likes, dislikes, actions, motivations, and relationships.
• Provides direction and motivation:Having a strong sense of identity can give you a clear understanding of your values and interests, which can help provide clarity, direction, and motivation when it comes to setting goals and working toward them.
• Enables healthy relationships:When you know and accept yourself, you can form meaningful connections with people who appreciate and respect you for who you are. A strong sense of identity also helps you communicate effectively, establish healthy boundaries, and engage in authentic and fulfilling interactions.
• Keeps you grounded: Our identities give us roots when things around us feel chaotic or uncertain, says Dr. Qaadir. “Our roots keep us grounded and help us remember what truly matters at the end of the day.”
• Improves decision-making: Understanding yourself well can help you make choices that are consistent with your values, beliefs, and long-term goals. This clarity reduces confusion, indecision, and the tendency to conform to others’ expectations, which may lead to poor decision-making.
• Fosters community participation: Identity is often shaped by cultural, social, political, spiritual, and historical contexts. Having a strong sense of identity allows you to understand, appreciate, and take pride in your cultural heritage. This can empower you to participate actively in society, express your unique perspective, and contribute to positive societal change.

On the other hand, a weak sense of identity can make it more difficult to ground yourself emotionally in times of stress and more confusing when you’re trying to navigate major life decisions, says Dr. Qaadir.

References:

1. Identity, Psychology Today.
2. American Psychological Association. Identity.
3. Sanjana Gupta, Why Identity Matters and How It Shapes Us, Very Well Mind, May 30, 2023.