Top 10 Lessons from the book: From Failure to Success: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Build Mental Resilience and Turn Failures Into successes By Martin Meadows
1. If you face a difficult problem and you tell yourself, “I don’t know how to deal with it,” you’ll think of reasons why you can’t do it — and not potential solutions. Your brain acts on your instructions, and it’s the words you use that steer your thinking process. If instead you tell yourself, “Okay, let’s find a way to figure it out,” you’ll think of potential solutions and probably solve the problem. Same problem, different words, different outcome. As powerful as our brains are, words can fool them — and you can use this phenomenon to your benefit.
2. Dwelling on your failure reinforces it and makes you less effective at dealing with future failures. Turning the failure into a lesson will help you to reinforce a positive coping mechanism.
3. The next time you fail, resist the temptation to let anger, frustration, discouragement or self-guilt make you give up. Give yourself time to process the negative emotions, and then make a list of the lessons you’ve learned from not reaching your desired outcome. This will help you develop a positive mechanism for coping with failure. When you transform a failure into a list of lessons, you’ll empower yourself by thinking in terms of possible ideas for improvement instead of poisoning yourself with negativity.
4. Whenever you find yourself angry at a situation you can’t change, remind yourself that it’s not up to you. Accepting that things are beyond your control will give you a sense of peace and enable you to move on. Peace of mind comes from focusing on what you can control instead of wasting your energy on things you can’t change. the only things you can always control are your own thoughts and subsequent beliefs, attitudes, and actions.
5. If you repeatedly fail with the same goal, it’s possible you set unrealistic expectations and are stuck in the false hope loop. To avoid failing due to unrealistic expectations, make sure to carefully research the feasibility of your goals. Does an average entrepreneur build a six-figure business in six months?
6. If you’ve already failed a couple of times and want to try again, consider completely changing your approach, rather than trying the same approach again and expecting different results. Perhaps the approach you’ve taken isn’t founded on healthy principles or doesn’t work in your unique situation. When you close your mind to alternative approaches, you can get stuck in the failure loop forever.
7. When setting a new goal and deadline, remind yourself that ultimately even if you don’t achieve something by your self-imposed deadline, you’re still farther ahead.
8. Sacrifice is necessary. Sacrificing less-important goals will give you more power to work on the most crucial objectives. Prioritize big life improvements like changing your diet, getting a better job, starting a business, or finding a life partner, over less significant objectives.
9. Embrace boredom. It’s exciting to set new goals or follow new strategies, but if you prioritize excitement over effectiveness, you’ll only lose focus and possibly fail. If something works, stick to it.
10. Practice defensive pessimism by imagining the worst and preparing for it. The next time you find yourself preparing for a situation that produces anxiety, come up with a list of everything that can go wrong. Then, address every item one by one by coming up with a list of possible solutions and implement them to reduce the risk of the setback happening.
11. If you don’t believe you deserve success, you’ll sabotage your efforts. If you limit your growth because you’re afraid of hurting others, remind yourself that becoming a better person gives you more resources to help them.
12. If you don’t recognize your strengths, make a list of your motivations, strengths, relationships, and other assets that can help you achieve your goal. Then think of past situations that you solved, thanks to these resources.
13. The best way to build long-term resolve is to develop a long-term passion that consistently motivates you to persist in spite of challenges. When performed over the long term, it will build up your reserves of mental strength while you’re enjoying yourself.
14. You must believe that if you persist at it, you will get better at it. You won’t stick to anything in the long term if you doubt your abilities to improve.
15. Find a way to introduce a big change in your life with little commitment and investment on your part. If it works well, make it a permanent change.
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