“Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.” Stephen R. Covey
Stephen R. Covey’s seminal book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, remains relevant because it focuses on timeless principles of fairness, integrity, honesty, and human dignity. It’s timeless principles are also extremely relevant for those desiring to develop a wealth mindset and to build wealth.
In his book, Covey argues that it’s your character that needs to be cultivated to achieve effectiveness and sustainable success, not your personality and behavior. Effectively, what we are says far more than what we say or do.
Character is closely related to moral and ethical values. It focuses on the traits that are unique to a person. Character is often regarded as the true self, meaning that it represents deep rooted attributes possessed by a person.
While, personality is often referred to as the mask identity of a person. It is reflected by the outer appearance and behavior that may or may not be true to inner character.
In a nutshell, the seven habits of highly effective people are:
- You take initiative. “Be proactive.”
- You focus on goals. “Begin with the end in mind.”
- You set priorities. “Put first things first.”
- You only win when others win. “Think win/win.”
- You communicate. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
- You cooperate. “Synergize.”
- You reflect on and repair your deficiencies…you focus on your well-being. “Sharpen the saw.”
In short, you are what you habitually do, so adopt productive habits. You have the ability to improve your habits and your life.
Covey’s seven habits are composed of the primary principles of character upon which happiness and success are based. Rather than focusing on altering the outward manifestations of your behavior and attitudes, it aims to adapt your inner core, character, and motives.
Your character is a composite of your habits, which factors heavily in your life. Because habits are consistent, unconscious patterns, they constantly express your character and result in your effectiveness or ineffectiveness. Habits are deeply ingrained and you are constantly pulled in their direction. Breaking deeply imbedded, habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness or selfishness that inhibit effectiveness involves more than simple willpower or a few minor changes.
“What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.” Stephen R. Covey
A habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire:
- Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why.
- Skill is the how to do.
- Desire is the motivation, the want to do.
Creating a habit requires work in all three dimensions–to listen, knowing how to listen and to want to listen. By working on knowledge, skills, and desire, we can break through to new levels of personal and interpersonal effectiveness as we break from old paradigms.
Paradigms (another term for mindset) are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world… “If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm.” – Dr. Stephen R. Covey
Habit 1: Be Proactive – Principle: I am free to choose and am responsible for my choices.
Your life doesn’t just “happen.” Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.
Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior.
All external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power–you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc.
Being proactive means more than taking initiative. It means we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
“It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.” Stephen R. Covey
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind – Principle: Mental creation precedes physical creation.
Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty–successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.
Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint.
If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself.
Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.
Covey states that the most effective way to begin with the end in mind is to create a personal mission statement. It should focus on the following:
- What you want to be (character)
- What you want to do (contributions and achievements)
- The values upon which both of these things are based
In time, your mission statement will become your personal constitution. It becomes the basis from which you make every decision in your life. By making principles the center of your life, you create a solid foundation from which to flourish.
To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. You need to know where you are going in order to better understand where you are now so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.
Habit 3: Put First Things First – Principle: Effectiveness requires the integrity to act on your priorities.
Habit one encourages you to realize you are in charge of your own life, and habit two is based on the ability to visualize and to identify your key values. Habit 3 is the practical fulfillment of Habits 1 and 2. Habit 1 says, “You are the creator. You are in charge.” Habit 2 is the first mental creation, based on imagination, the ability to envision what you can become. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. It focuses on the practice of effective self-management. By asking yourself the above questions, you become aware that you have the power to significantly change your life in the present.
To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that saying no to everything that comes along is okay. There’s no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.
Habit three concerns itself with putting the most important things first. This means cultivating the ability to say no to things that don’t match your guiding principles. To manage your time effectively, your behaviors and actions must adhere to the following habit 5 concepts:
- They must be principle-centered.
- They must be conscience-directed, meaning that they give you the opportunity to organize your life in accordance with your core values.
- They define your key mission, which includes your values and long-term goals.
- They give balance to your life.
- They are organized weekly, with daily adaptations as needed.
The focus is on improving relationships and results, not on maximizing your time.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win – Principle: Effective, long-term relationships require mutual respect and mutual benefit.
Think Win-Win is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying.
To adopt a win/win mindset, you must cultivate the habit of interpersonal leadership. This involves exercising each of the following traits when interacting with others:
- Self-awareness
- Imagination
- Conscience
- Independent will
To be an effective win/win leader, Covey argues that you must embrace five independent dimensions:
- Character: This is the foundation upon which a win/win mentality is created, and it means acting with integrity, maturity, and an “abundance mentality” (i.e., there is plenty of everything for everyone, one person’s success doesn’t threaten your success).
- Relationships: Trust is essential to achieving win/win agreements. You must nourish your relationships to maintain a high level of trust.
- Agreements: This means that the parties involved must agree on the desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, and the consequences.
- Win/win performance agreements and supportive systems: Creating a standardized, agreed-upon set of desired results to measure performance within a system that can support a win/win mindset.
- Processes: All processes must allow for win/win solutions to arise.
Win/Win is not a technique; it’s a total philosophy. This frame of mind and heart constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood – Principle: To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other.
Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening?
If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely.
Seek first to understand involves a deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Instead, most people listen to the reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak.
Habit 6: Synergize – Principle: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
To put it simply, synergy means “two heads are better than one.” Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems.
Synergy is the highest activity in all life – the true test and manifestation of all the other habits combined. Synergy catalyzes, unifies, and unleashes the greatest powers within people. Simply defined, synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw – Principle: To maintain and increase effectiveness, we must renew ourselves in body, heart, mind, and spirit.
Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life:
- Physical: exercise, nutrition and sleep
- Social/Emotional: meaningful human connections and relationships
- Mental: learning, visualizing, acquiring new knowledge, growing
- Spiritual: mindfulness, art, meditation, music, time in nature, prayer and service
As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.
Feeling good doesn’t just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. Remember that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal–a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill.
Habit 7 makes all of the other Habits possible. When you sharpen the saw, you preserve and enhance the greatest asset you have – yourself.
In conclusion, real change comes not from the outside in, but from the inside out, explains Covey. And the most fundamental way of changing yourself is through a paradigm shift.
There are so many people out there who are excelling in their work lives but failing miserably in their personal lives. They’re a success story on the outside but their lives are falling apart. Their problems are deep and painful. A quick fix doesn’t work in this case. To change such situations, you have to improve yourself and your mindset.
A paradigm is a way you see and perceive the world. Like a map of a territory, a paradigm is a model of something else. Two people can see the same thing and interpret it differently, and they’ll both be correct. It’s not logical but psychological.
Your paradigms affect the way you interact with people.
“Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all.” Stephen R. Covey
References:
- https://resources.franklincovey.com/mkt-7hv1/the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people
- https://www.oberlo.com/blog/7-habits-of-highly-effective-people-by-stephen-covey-summary
- https://www.stratechi.com/7-habits/
- https://www.nps.gov/common/uploads/teachers/lessonplans/7%20Habits-of-Highly-Effective-People.pdf
- https://earlgreyninja.com/the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people-stephen-r-covey/
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Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life or one devoid of purpose. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking, writes Excellence Reporter in a 2019 article. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
