Category Archives: Emotional Well-Being

Mental Health – Letting Go

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“What’s past is past and there is little to be gained by dwelling on it. There are perhaps no sadder people then the men and women who have a grievance against the world because of something that happened years ago and have let that memory sour their view of life ever since.” ~ Rabbi Harold S Kushner

7 Lessons from the book “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig

1. Mental Health is Real

Acknowledge that mental health is just as important as physical health. It’s essential to understand that mental health struggles are valid and should be treated with the same care and attention as any other health issue.

2. You’re Not Alone

Remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Many people have experienced or are currently going through similar challenges. Reach out to loved ones, support groups, or professionals who can provide empathy, understanding, and guidance.

3. Seek Help

It’s crucial to seek help when you need it. Don’t hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals who can provide the necessary support and treatment. There is no shame in seeking help, and it can make a significant difference in your recovery journey.

4. Focus on the Present

Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment. Anxiety and depression often make us dwell on the past or worry about the future. By grounding yourself in the present, you can find peace and reduce unnecessary stress.

5. Find Meaning in Small Things

Look for beauty and joy in everyday life. Engage in activities that bring you happiness, whether it’s spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or connecting with loved ones. Finding meaning in small things can help shift your perspective and improve your overall well-being.

6. Self-Care is Essential

Prioritize self-care and make it a part of your routine. Take care of your physical and emotional needs by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember that self-care is not selfish but necessary for your well-being.

7. Recovery is Possible

Believe in the possibility of recovery. While the journey may be challenging, it’s important to have hope and faith that things can get better. With the right support, treatment, and self-care, it is possible to overcome the struggles and find renewed hope and joy in life.

Power of Enthusiasm

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“Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Enthusiasm is a powerful force that can significantly impact your life. It is one skill that you can learn that will improve your performance on everything you choose to pursue, and multiply the results that you see. Additionally, practicing enthusiasm will improve your physical and mental health, enhance your pain tolerance, and even extend your lifespan, he opines.

“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with your might.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Motivational speaker and life coach Darren Hardy emphasizes the power of enthusiasm where he describes enthusiasm as an underrated skill that can significantly impact your success in life.

Daily believes that approaching tasks with genuine enthusiasm can transform your results and help you achieve your goals more effectively.

Here are a few key points about its power:

  • Boosts Performance: Enthusiasm can enhance your performance in both personal and professional settings. When you’re enthusiastic, you’re more likely to be engaged, motivated, and productive.
  • Inspires Others: Enthusiasm is contagious. When you approach tasks with energy and excitement, it can inspire and motivate those around you, creating a positive and dynamic environment.
  • Improves Well-being: Being enthusiastic can improve your overall well-being. It can lead to increased happiness, reduced stress, and a more positive outlook on life.
  • Facilitates Learning: Enthusiasm can make learning new skills and information more enjoyable and effective. It helps you stay curious and open-minded, which is essential for personal growth.
  • Enhances Relationships: Enthusiastic individuals often have better social interactions and relationships. Their positive energy can make them more approachable and likable.

There are significant costs to living day-to-day with a lack of enthusiasm; and, we tend to undervalue the benefits and power of enthusiasm, states Darren Daily.  He believes you should infect every room you enter or conversation you participate with enthusiasm.

Source: DarrenDaily On-Demand: The Most Underrated Skill that Changes Everything, Nov 5, 2024

https://content.libsyn.com/p/9/4/a/94aee2bd6e9eb7db/DDOD_Episode1551_mixdown.mp3?c_id=180603857&cs_id=180603857&destination_id=971339&response-content-type=audio%2Fmpeg&Expires=1730822650&Signature=RBz7djevptm0SEr0jtNg2JtD1uwLE6kBrEwrIUEDfi2VmtM-aVbI9eLNrquZH3tIlO2g1HBY8Mmy8kNSsihQz3IMAwobB72K3tlUH-jp2uP5JAog54hLAoJdJBHIHUHM6CckOtysAiabkrzVgysj~K-y5JYKOLun2vYJwUYp8WxKUwcbxfw9jRHCsJXGyWf7XsCErHhDsvfsnVoljhJrQIAUQueo12X6-SX4kTlKMFIXV1VrJQekDDAf87vNnzSvqIak82~lkFBdw7UcA7NEV6V2m8t6iksUWTIZ2KSo-Y4Q8EcnaKsbap5~jX9phNdvCFxcyXR2bgO3wAfesx71kQ__&Key-Pair-Id=K1YS7LZGUP96OI

Life Humbles You as You Grow Old

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“Life humbles you as you grow old. You stop chasing the big things and start (being grateful and) valuing the little things. Alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones. Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal.”

Age brings a profound sense of humility. The pursuit of grand ambitions fades, replaced by a deep appreciation for life’s simple treasures.

Solitude becomes a sanctuary, rest a cherished luxury, nourishing food a form of self-care. Long walks offer moments of reflection, while quality time with loved ones becomes the true measure of richness. In this metamorphosis, simplicity emerges as the ultimate aspiration.

The value of life shifts from the grand to the serene, from the extravagant to the essential, unveiling the beauty and fulfillment found in embracing and being grateful for life’s small wonders.

End Your Vacation on a High Note

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The adage to “save the best for last” appears to be the best strategy to craft a pleasant travel or vacation memories,

The outsize role certain final vacation experiences have on memories can be chalked up to a psychological principle called “recency effect”.

“The recency effect helps to explain our tendency to remember the ending portion of an event or sequence of events with far more clarity than the rest,” said Dr. Mary Poffenroth, biopsychologist and author of “Brave New You: Strategies, Tools, and Neurohacks to Live More Courageously Every Day.” She says the bias stems from our short-term memory’s inability to hold on to more than a small amount of information at once.

“Nobody wants to end on a downer—or even worse, let the trip peter out before it’s actually over. You want that travel orgasm at the end,” crime novelist and screenwriter Lee Goldberg said.

Traveling is like telling yourself a story. “There’s a beginning, middle and an end,” he said. “You know what you’re going in for, you have an idea of what to expect, and there are twists along the way. But ultimately you want the big payoff, the big finale.”

To avoid disproportionately spotlighting the final days, whether they’re good or bad, experts recommend creating a ritual to amplify earlier days in the vacation with reminders of those days: a live show ticket, a seashell, a cardboard drink coaster with a pub’s logo on it.

Source:  http://www.wsj.com/articles/WP-WSJ-0001994621

Know Thyself

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The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle spoke about  the importance of self-knowledge and self-understanding as the foundation for wisdom and good judgment.

Some key points about this quote:

– Self-knowledge is the starting point for wisdom. When you understand yourself – your strengths, weaknesses, biases, motivations, etc. – you are better equipped to make sound decisions and live a fulfilling life.

– Wisdom involves the ability to apply knowledge and make good judgments, especially in complex or ambiguous situations. Self-awareness is crucial for developing this practical wisdom.

– By looking inward and cultivating self-understanding, you lay the foundation for becoming wiser and making a positive impact on the world.

The transformative power of self-knowledge is the basis for living a life of greater clarity, purpose, and wisdom.

Gratitude is a Superpower and the foundation of all great success!

Mindfulness Matters

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Mindfulness encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body.

Mindfulness is an ancient practice that is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present—of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you.

Mindfulness means not living your life on “autopilot.” Instead, you experience life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions.

“Many of us go through our lives without really being present in the moment,” says Dr. Margaret Chesney of the University of California, San Francisco.

Dr. Chesney’s studies suggest that mindfulness practices may help people manage stress, cope better with serious illness and reduce anxiety and depression. Many people who practice mindfulness report an increased ability to relax, a greater enthusiasm for life and improved self-esteem.

One National Institutes of Health (NIH)-supported study found a link between mindfulness meditation and measurable changes in the brain regions involved in memory, learning and emotion. Another NIH-funded researcher reported that mindfulness practices may reduce anxiety and hostility among urban youth and lead to reduced stress, fewer fights and better relationships.

A major benefit of mindfulness is that it encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body. For example, studies have shown that mindfulness can help people achieve and maintain a healthy weight. “It is so common for people to watch TV and eat snack food out of the box without really attending to how much they are eating,” says Chesney. “With mindful eating, you eat when you’re hungry, focus on each bite, enjoy your food more and stop when you’re full.”

Finding time for mindfulness in our culture, however, can be a challenge. We tend to place great value on how much we can do at once and how fast. Still, being more mindful is within anyone’s reach.

You can practice mindfulness throughout the day, even while answering e-mails, sitting in traffic or waiting in line. All you have to do is become more aware—of your breath, of your feet on the ground, of your fingers typing, of the people and voices around you.

Source: Harrison Wein, Ph.D., Mindfulness Matters, Can Living in the Moment Improve Your Health?, National Institutes of Health News in Health, January 2012. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/mindfulness-matters

Mermaid or Whale?

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Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.It read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman pictured on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. She had a whale of a lot to say:

“To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends: dolphins, sea lions, and curious humans. They have an active sex life, get pregnant, and have adorable baby whales. They enjoy stuffing themselves with shrimp, playing and swimming in the sea, and visiting wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. ?They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.They are loved, protected, and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist.If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to their identity crisis. Fish or human would prove quite a quandary for even the most skilled of therapists.

They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

P.S. We are in an age when the media attempts to convince us that only skinny people are beautiful. I prefer to enjoy ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and good chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, and happy.”
—-Copied from Brian Horne page—-

Practicing Mindfulness

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“Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think.” ~ Buddha

Practicing mindfulness (being aware of the present moment without judgement) can allow you to harness the energy of your thoughts and shape the trajectory of your life’s journey.

Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.

Practicing mindfulness exercises can help you direct your attention away from negative thinking and engage with the world around you.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. Mayo Clinic has outlined how you can be mindful in your daily life.

Start Small

Starting small means taking 5 minutes or so out of your day and dedicating it to yourself. These 5 minutes can bring a new perspective, positivity and calmness to whatever stress is weighing down on you. Take the time to focus on your senses, breathing, body and environment.

Accept Yourself and Be Open to Change

The Mayo Clinic suggests treating yourself as you would treat a friend. In avoiding self-criticism and negative self-talk, you’re demonstrating mindfulness by practicing to regulate damaging thought patterns.

It’s easy to be very critical and judgmental throughout the day, even unintentionally. Being open to trying new things and thinking a different way can open the door for a new way of life. Change can lead to progress, even some changes that are frightening at first.

Fit Mindfulness Into Your Lifestyle

It only takes a few minutes per day to decrease your stress levels through mindfulness. Find these moments in your day. They might be transitional periods, like right after work, between tasks or after meals. You can also dedicate a space in your home to mindfulness by setting up a quiet and comfortable area to practice connecting with yourself.

Mindfulness can be practiced wherever and whenever, but The Mayo Clinic notes engaging your senses outdoors is especially beneficial. You might go for a walk as an opportunity to increase your mindfulness, or even just take advantage of the moments in your day when you find yourself outdoors, like checking the mail or walking to your car.

References:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
  2. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/education/how-to-practice-mindfulness

Happiness and the Meaning of Life

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According to Frank Martela, a Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher, finding meaning in life boils down to five words: “Make yourself meaningful to others”.

You can do this by opening yourself up to deep connections with others, your community and your passions.

1. Live for yourself, not someone else’s expectations.

It can be hard to live with purpose if you’re going through the motions, burned out, or filled with resentment because you’re on a path that someone else picked for you. Even a meaningful job like being a doctor can feel empty if your heart isn’t in it.

Before you can give to someone else, you have to understand what makes you happy, and start doing more of it.

2. Become an expert and share your knowledge.

One of the best ways to serve others is to find something that meets three requirements:

  • You’re good at it.
  • It excites you.
  • It has a positive impact on others.

Once you’ve found a job or a hobby that makes you feel fulfilled, put all your focus into becoming an expert in it. Then share it with your community.

3. Practice random acts of kindness.

You should strive to do three random acts of kindness a day. It can be as simple as offering a glass of water to the mailman, spending an afternoon with a grandparent, or helping a tourist find their way.

By doing three random acts of kindness daily, you might develop unexpected deep bonds with others as a result. Here’s how:

Helping people doesn’t just feel good in the moment; it benefits your long-term health, too. Studies show that people who give emotional support to their family, friends and neighbors are more likely to live longer.

4. Be a good neighbor.

“Working together to do something that one would not be able to do alone.” This philosophy can be essential for the good of the whole.

5. Embrace quiet time together.

People don’t need to make grand gestures to be an important part of your life. Being together in silence is enough to make individuals feel connected and loved. Sitting silently with someone can be moments of deep meaning and connection.

6. Practice mindfulness.

Being intentional with your thoughts and actions, you can begin to reduce your stress and increase your happiness through consciously focusing on your state of mind.

Mindfulness is focused around being present in any moment, at any time. It’s the human ability to be aware of where you are and what you’re doing  A key to mindfulness is recognizing emotions or situations without any positive or negative judgment. When you observe rather than judge, you can be more purposeful in what you say and how you say it.

Mindfulness has been proven to be an effective tool for reducing stress and anxiety. If you’re one of the 40 million U.S. adults who suffer from anxiety per year, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) promotes mindfulness as a technique for growth, self-discovery and success.

References:

  1. Frank Martela, I’m a psychology expert in Finland, the No. 1 happiest country in the world—here’s the real meaning of life in 5 words, CNBC Make It, June 9 2023. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/09/psychology-expert-from-finland-the-worlds-happiest-country-shares-the-meaning-of-life-in-5-words.html
  2. Joanne Coffey, How to Practice Mindfulness, Southern New Hampshire University, October 18, 2022.  https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/education/how-to-practice-mindfulness

Mindfulness Exercises

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The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes. ~ Mindful.org

Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. It is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes. Mindfulness is available to us in every moment, whether through meditations and body scans, or mindful moment practices like taking time to pause and breathe when the phone rings instead of rushing to answer it.

Simple mindfulness exercises can be practiced anywhere and anytime, according to the Mayo Clinic. Research does indicate that engaging your senses while outdoors is especially beneficial.

You’ll need to set aside time when you can be in a quiet place without distractions or interruptions. You might choose to practice mindfulness early in the morning before you begin your daily routine.

Aim to practice mindfulness every day for about six months. Over time, you might find that mindfulness becomes effortless. Think of it as a commitment to reconnecting with and nurturing yourself.

There are many simple ways to practice mindfulness. Some examples include:

  • Pay attention. It’s hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. Try to take the time to experience your environment with all of your senses — touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. For example, when you eat a favorite food, take the time to smell, taste and truly enjoy it.
  • Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring an open, accepting and discerning attention to everything you do. Find joy in simple pleasures.
  • Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.
  • Focus on your breathing. When you have negative thoughts, try to sit down, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Sitting and breathing for even just a minute can help.

References:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
  2. https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/