I don’t care whether or not people like me or dislike me. I’m not on earth to win a popularity contest. I’m here to be the best human being I possibly can be.
Life is not a Popularity Contest
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Category Archives: Emotional Well-Being
Resilience is an Essential Trait
Ernest Hemingway once wrote:
“The hardest lesson I’ve had to learn as an adult is the relentless need to keep going, no matter how shattered I feel inside.”
This truth is both raw and universal.
Life doesn’t pause when our hearts are heavy, our minds are fractured, or our spirits feel like they’re unraveling. It keeps moving-unrelenting, unapologetic-demanding that we move with it.
There’s no time to stop, no pause for repair, no moment of stillness where we can gently piece ourselves back together. The world doesn’t wait, even when we need it to.
What makes this even harder is that no one really prepares us for it. As children, we grow up on a steady diet of stories filled with happy endings, tales of redemption and triumph where everything always falls into place. But adulthood strips away those comforting narratives. Instead, it reveals a harsh truth: survival isn’t glamorous or inspiring most of the time. It’s wearing a mask of strength when you’re falling apart inside. It’s showing up when all you want is to retreat. It’s choosing to move forward, step by painful step, when your heart begs for rest.
And yet, we endure. That’s the miracle of being human-we endure. Somewhere in the depths of our pain, we find reserves of strength we didn’t know we possessed. We learn to hold space for ourselves, to be the comfort we crave, to whisper words of hope when no one else does. Over time, we realize that resilience isn’t loud or grandiose; it’s a quiet defiance, a refusal to let life’s weight crush us entirely.
Yes, it’s messy. Yes, it’s exhausting. And yes, there are days when it feels almost impossible to take another step. But even then, we move forward. Each tiny step is proof of our resilience, a reminder that even in our darkest moments, we’re still fighting, still refusing to give up. That fight-that courage-is the quiet miracle of survival.
There is always a reason to be grateful!
“I may not have everything I want in life, but I am blessed enough to have all that I need. For this I am grateful.”
Though life may not always align with your deepest desires, you can find solace in recognizing the abundance already present in your world.
The gifts you have—shelter, nourishment, love, and peace—are enough to sustain you.
It’s in this quiet realization that gratitude blooms, a reminder that while you may dream of more, you are already rich in what truly matters. For this, you should give thanks.
Stress Isn’t the Silent Killer; It’s Your Mindset
For decades, we’ve been told by medical professionals and the healthcare industry that stress is the silent killer, which destroys your health, shortens your lives, and wreaks havoc on y”our minds. And, as a result, doctors and the healthcare profession would prescribe meditation, yoga, and “stress management” techniques to alleviate and manage stress.
But what if they’re all wrong?
Standford University’s top stress expert and researcer, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, exposed healthcare’s biggest secret:
Stress is not what’s damaging your mental and physical health.
A groundbreaking study involving 30,000 Americans revealed something shocking:
People who believed stress was harmful had worse health outcomes than those who didn’t. .Even when experiencing the same levels of stress.
After studying stress for over a decade, Dr. McGonigal made a revolutionary discovery:
Stress isn’t your enemy, and in fact, it’s not hurting you. Stress is actually your body’s way of preparing you for a challenge.
When you’re stressed, your heart pounds and breathing quickens not to hurt you, but to energize you. It helps. you rise to the challenge.
Researchers found that your stress response is nearly identical to moments of joy and courage:
• Increased heart rate = more oxygen to your brain
• Faster breathing = enhanced alertness
• Hormonal surge = improved focus and energy
Dr. McGonigal’s key finding were that it’s all about your mindset regarding stress.
In her studies, she realized when people viewed stress as helpful, their blood vessels stayed relaxeds and their cardiovascular system mirrored the “joy response” instead of the “fear response.”
McGonigal’s research revealed a crucial truth:
Stress isn’t what hurts you. Instead, it’s your BELIEF about stress is what hurts you. When you see it as helpful, it becomes a powerful tool for:
• Enhanced performance
• Improved focus
• Better resilience
The implications are massive, which means you can literally transform your stress response. Dr. McGonigal’s work proves that your body’s stress reaction is trying to help you succeed.
Stress is not your enemy; it’s your ally in achieving peak performance.
McGonigal discovered something game-changing that your emotions aren’t just “feelings.” They’re the control center for how your body handles stress. When you’re in control of your emotions, that racing heart isn’t anxiety. It’s your body rising to meet a challenge.
The goal isn’t to eliminate stress or fight against it. It’s to harness your emotional state so stress becomes your ally.
https://x.com/drinkeub/status/1876339975043879306?s=61&t=8ACS6bcx2PFMgdLuBnL1JQ
Mental Health – Letting Go
“What’s past is past and there is little to be gained by dwelling on it. There are perhaps no sadder people then the men and women who have a grievance against the world because of something that happened years ago and have let that memory sour their view of life ever since.” ~ Rabbi Harold S Kushner
7 Lessons from the book “Reasons to Stay Alive” by Matt Haig
1. Mental Health is Real
Acknowledge that mental health is just as important as physical health. It’s essential to understand that mental health struggles are valid and should be treated with the same care and attention as any other health issue.
2. You’re Not Alone
Remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Many people have experienced or are currently going through similar challenges. Reach out to loved ones, support groups, or professionals who can provide empathy, understanding, and guidance.
3. Seek Help
It’s crucial to seek help when you need it. Don’t hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals who can provide the necessary support and treatment. There is no shame in seeking help, and it can make a significant difference in your recovery journey.
4. Focus on the Present
Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment. Anxiety and depression often make us dwell on the past or worry about the future. By grounding yourself in the present, you can find peace and reduce unnecessary stress.
5. Find Meaning in Small Things
Look for beauty and joy in everyday life. Engage in activities that bring you happiness, whether it’s spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or connecting with loved ones. Finding meaning in small things can help shift your perspective and improve your overall well-being.
6. Self-Care is Essential
Prioritize self-care and make it a part of your routine. Take care of your physical and emotional needs by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember that self-care is not selfish but necessary for your well-being.
7. Recovery is Possible
Believe in the possibility of recovery. While the journey may be challenging, it’s important to have hope and faith that things can get better. With the right support, treatment, and self-care, it is possible to overcome the struggles and find renewed hope and joy in life.
Power of Enthusiasm
“Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Enthusiasm is a powerful force that can significantly impact your life. It is one skill that you can learn that will improve your performance on everything you choose to pursue, and multiply the results that you see. Additionally, practicing enthusiasm will improve your physical and mental health, enhance your pain tolerance, and even extend your lifespan, he opines.
“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with your might.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivational speaker and life coach Darren Hardy emphasizes the power of enthusiasm where he describes enthusiasm as an underrated skill that can significantly impact your success in life.
Daily believes that approaching tasks with genuine enthusiasm can transform your results and help you achieve your goals more effectively.
Here are a few key points about its power:
- Boosts Performance: Enthusiasm can enhance your performance in both personal and professional settings. When you’re enthusiastic, you’re more likely to be engaged, motivated, and productive.
- Inspires Others: Enthusiasm is contagious. When you approach tasks with energy and excitement, it can inspire and motivate those around you, creating a positive and dynamic environment.
- Improves Well-being: Being enthusiastic can improve your overall well-being. It can lead to increased happiness, reduced stress, and a more positive outlook on life.
- Facilitates Learning: Enthusiasm can make learning new skills and information more enjoyable and effective. It helps you stay curious and open-minded, which is essential for personal growth.
- Enhances Relationships: Enthusiastic individuals often have better social interactions and relationships. Their positive energy can make them more approachable and likable.
There are significant costs to living day-to-day with a lack of enthusiasm; and, we tend to undervalue the benefits and power of enthusiasm, states Darren Daily. He believes you should infect every room you enter or conversation you participate with enthusiasm.
Source: DarrenDaily On-Demand: The Most Underrated Skill that Changes Everything, Nov 5, 2024
Life Humbles You as You Grow Old
“Life humbles you as you grow old. You stop chasing the big things and start (being grateful and) valuing the little things. Alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones. Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal.”
Age brings a profound sense of humility. The pursuit of grand ambitions fades, replaced by a deep appreciation for life’s simple treasures.
Solitude becomes a sanctuary, rest a cherished luxury, nourishing food a form of self-care. Long walks offer moments of reflection, while quality time with loved ones becomes the true measure of richness. In this metamorphosis, simplicity emerges as the ultimate aspiration.
The value of life shifts from the grand to the serene, from the extravagant to the essential, unveiling the beauty and fulfillment found in embracing and being grateful for life’s small wonders.
End Your Vacation on a High Note
The adage to “save the best for last” appears to be the best strategy to craft a pleasant travel or vacation memories,
The outsize role certain final vacation experiences have on memories can be chalked up to a psychological principle called “recency effect”.
“The recency effect helps to explain our tendency to remember the ending portion of an event or sequence of events with far more clarity than the rest,” said Dr. Mary Poffenroth, biopsychologist and author of “Brave New You: Strategies, Tools, and Neurohacks to Live More Courageously Every Day.” She says the bias stems from our short-term memory’s inability to hold on to more than a small amount of information at once.
“Nobody wants to end on a downer—or even worse, let the trip peter out before it’s actually over. You want that travel orgasm at the end,” crime novelist and screenwriter Lee Goldberg said.
Traveling is like telling yourself a story. “There’s a beginning, middle and an end,” he said. “You know what you’re going in for, you have an idea of what to expect, and there are twists along the way. But ultimately you want the big payoff, the big finale.”
To avoid disproportionately spotlighting the final days, whether they’re good or bad, experts recommend creating a ritual to amplify earlier days in the vacation with reminders of those days: a live show ticket, a seashell, a cardboard drink coaster with a pub’s logo on it.
Know Thyself
The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle spoke about the importance of self-knowledge and self-understanding as the foundation for wisdom and good judgment.
Some key points about this quote:
– Self-knowledge is the starting point for wisdom. When you understand yourself – your strengths, weaknesses, biases, motivations, etc. – you are better equipped to make sound decisions and live a fulfilling life.
– Wisdom involves the ability to apply knowledge and make good judgments, especially in complex or ambiguous situations. Self-awareness is crucial for developing this practical wisdom.
– By looking inward and cultivating self-understanding, you lay the foundation for becoming wiser and making a positive impact on the world.
The transformative power of self-knowledge is the basis for living a life of greater clarity, purpose, and wisdom.
Gratitude is a Superpower and the foundation of all great success!
Mindfulness Matters
Mindfulness encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body.
Mindfulness is an ancient practice that is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present—of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you.
Mindfulness means not living your life on “autopilot.” Instead, you experience life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions.
“Many of us go through our lives without really being present in the moment,” says Dr. Margaret Chesney of the University of California, San Francisco.
Dr. Chesney’s studies suggest that mindfulness practices may help people manage stress, cope better with serious illness and reduce anxiety and depression. Many people who practice mindfulness report an increased ability to relax, a greater enthusiasm for life and improved self-esteem.
One National Institutes of Health (NIH)-supported study found a link between mindfulness meditation and measurable changes in the brain regions involved in memory, learning and emotion. Another NIH-funded researcher reported that mindfulness practices may reduce anxiety and hostility among urban youth and lead to reduced stress, fewer fights and better relationships.
A major benefit of mindfulness is that it encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body. For example, studies have shown that mindfulness can help people achieve and maintain a healthy weight. “It is so common for people to watch TV and eat snack food out of the box without really attending to how much they are eating,” says Chesney. “With mindful eating, you eat when you’re hungry, focus on each bite, enjoy your food more and stop when you’re full.”
Finding time for mindfulness in our culture, however, can be a challenge. We tend to place great value on how much we can do at once and how fast. Still, being more mindful is within anyone’s reach.
You can practice mindfulness throughout the day, even while answering e-mails, sitting in traffic or waiting in line. All you have to do is become more aware—of your breath, of your feet on the ground, of your fingers typing, of the people and voices around you.
Source: Harrison Wein, Ph.D., Mindfulness Matters, Can Living in the Moment Improve Your Health?, National Institutes of Health News in Health, January 2012. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/mindfulness-matters
Mermaid or Whale?
Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.It read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”
A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman pictured on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. She had a whale of a lot to say:
“To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends: dolphins, sea lions, and curious humans. They have an active sex life, get pregnant, and have adorable baby whales. They enjoy stuffing themselves with shrimp, playing and swimming in the sea, and visiting wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia.
Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. ?They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.They are loved, protected, and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don’t exist.If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to their identity crisis. Fish or human would prove quite a quandary for even the most skilled of therapists.
They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
P.S. We are in an age when the media attempts to convince us that only skinny people are beautiful. I prefer to enjoy ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and good chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, and happy.”
—-Copied from Brian Horne page—-