Category Archives: Emotional Well-Being

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

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Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, recorded patients’ dying epiphanies and put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware wrote of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how you might learn from her patients’ wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Bonnie Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

References:

  1. Susie Steiner, Top five regrets of the dying, The Guardian, February 1, 2012.  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

May 2023 — Mental Health Awareness Month

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No matter what my depression tells me, I am worthy of love, I am worthy of acceptance, I am worthy of fulfillment. I Am #MoreThanEnough. 

We are not born feeling inadequate. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of ways. For example, when we were little, and we felt afraid or anxious, our mind told us something was wrong with us, not our environment. A child’s mind, not yet rational, concludes, “There must be something wrong with me if I feel so bad.” That’s why children who were abused or neglected grow up to be adults who carry so much shame. They likely spent years telling themselves: “I must be bad if I’m being treated badly.”

As adults, armed with education on emotions and how childhood adversity affects the brain, we can understand that feeling “not enough” is a byproduct of an environment that was insufficient. We are in fact enough! Yet to feel more solid, we must work to transform that “not enough” feeling.

More Than Enough Mental Health Awareness Month 2023

What Can We Do to Help the Parts of Us That Feel “Not Enough?”

  • We can remind ourselves again and again that our feelings of “not enough” were learned. It’s not an objective fact, even when it feels so instinctually true.
  • We can connect to the part of us that feels bad and offer it compassion, like we would for our child, partner, colleague, friend or pet.
  • We can practice deep belly breathing, five or six times in a row, to calm our nervous system.
  • We can exercise to get adrenaline flowing and create a sense of empowerment.
  • We can remember this very helpful phrase: “Compare and Despair!” When you catch yourself making comparisons to others, STOP! It only hurts, by fueling feelings and thoughts of “not enough.” 

In the long run, we heal the parts of us that feel inadequate by first becoming aware of them. Once aware, we can listen to them and try to fully understand the story of how they came to believe they were “not enough.” Over time, by naming, validating and processing the associated emotions both from the past and present, “not enough” can become enough.

Source: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2018/Why-Do-We-Have-the-Feeling-that-We-Are-Not-Enough

One of the most beneficial things individuals can do to improve their mental health is to stay active and engage in frequent exercise. Exercise can increase the brain’s levels of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, which can lead to reduced stress levels, happier moods, increased cognitive function, and higher self-esteem.

Measuring Success in Life

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“How many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you?” ~ Warren Buffett

The More You Give Love Away, The More You Get

“When you get to my age, you’ll really measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. I know people who have a lot of money, and they get testimonial dinners and they get hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don’t care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster.”

“That’s the ultimate test of how you have lived your life. The trouble with love is that you can’t buy it. You can buy sex. You can buy testimonial dinners. You can buy pamphlets that say how wonderful you are. But the only way to get love is to be lovable. It’s very irritating if you have a lot of money. You’d like to think you could write a check: I’ll buy a million dollars’ worth of love. But it doesn’t work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get.”

Warren Buffett, CEO and Chairman, Berkshire Hathaway

Source: Tom Popomaronis, “Warren Buffett says this is ‘the ultimate test of how you have lived your life’—and Bill Gates agrees”, CNBC,  Sep 1 2019. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/09/01/billionaires-warren-buffett-bill-gates-agree-this-is-the-ultimate-test-of-how-you-have-lived-your-life.html

Consistency is key to building better habits! Always be consistent, it will helps you a lot. Maintain progressive consistency.

According to Bill Gates, measuring success in life relates to:

  • ‘Did I devote enough time to my family?’ Money can buy you many things like financial freedom and control of your time, but it can’t buy you an extra minute in the day or the love of family and friends.
  • ‘Did I learn enough new things?’ It’s essential to maintain an incredible appetite for learning and yearning for growth. Lifelong learning is essential for continuous growth, success and happiness.
  • ‘Did I develop new friendships and deepen old ones?’ A number of studies have even suggested that there are valuable benefits in cultivating deep relationships. “Our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, told The Harvard Gazette in 2017. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care, too.”

Source:  https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/06/bill-gates-measures-his-quality-of-life-by-asking-himself-3-questions.html

Live Every Single Today

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“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” ~ Apostle Paul, 2 Timothy 4:6-8

It’s important to live every single day without regret, with clear goals and with purpose

Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative carer, wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. In it, she describes the five most common wishes she heard from her soon-to-depart clients.

  • I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Stringently adhering to cultural norms at the expense of your own passions will result in disappointment and bitterness.
  • I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Time is non-refundable so if you spend it working, then you can’t spend it doing more meaningful things.
  • I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. It is only by being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings can you form genuine bonds with other people.
  • I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends. It is dispiriting to be disconnected from those who truly understand you and accept you as you are.
  • I wish I had let myself be happier. The expectations and opinions of others should not prevent you from being happy with who you are. Moreover, happiness can be found in the journey, not just the destination, which you often never reach.

Another regret heard most often is:

I wish I’d taken better care of my health.  Most people do not think about their health until they experience a health challenge.  And at that point, we  make promises to ourselves that if we get better we’ll do a better with our health and well-being. But, I t shouldn’t take a major health challenge to get us to prioritize and focus on our health, fitness and diet. Your body must be your major priority and should be cared for. Nourish it with healthy food, exercise it daily and get a sufficient amount of sleep. Small healthy habits every day will compound and make a big difference over the long-term.

Never give up on yourself

Life and how you live it everyday is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely and choose honestly. Choose happiness and focus on what is good and positive. Always be grateful.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-s-biggest-decisions/202106/the-6-most-common-regrets-people-experience
  2. https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2012/10/18/the-25-biggest-regrets-in-life-what-are-yours/?sh=63f5f3f6488

Warren Buffett’s top 10 rules for success

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Billionaire investor Warren Buffett, “Oracle of Omaha, has a set of rules, principles and philosophies when it comes to making a decision, investing, managing the business and also building success in life. And his success principles can be summarized with the top 10 rules below.

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller.

  1. Find Your Passion. Almost every successful person agrees that finding and following your passion is something important if you want to produce an amazing result in life. There is no guarantee that you will be able to find your passion in your first job, but you have to keep digging until you find it. Steve Jobs once gave a commencement speech at Stanford University and said: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” The only way you can produce outstanding work is through passion. Without passion, you will do things with the half-hearted approach and there is no way you can become the best this way. Thus, find your passion, do what you love and you will be able to produce amazing success in life when you do.
  2. Hire Well. If you want to be a billionaire, there is no way you can go about it all by yourself, you need to have a great team. And to have a great team, you must learn to hire well. Always remember that you cannot succeed alone in this world. You need other people’s help to bring you the success you want. And your people will be your greatest assets. According to Buffett, he emphasizes on 3 qualities when he hires, and they are, integrity, intelligence, and energy. Buffett also said that out of those 3 qualities, integrity comes first. He also jokingly said that you do not want to hire someone who has no integrity but has a lot of intelligence and energy. Integrity comes first. Without integrity, other qualities do not matter much
  3. Don’t Care What Others Think. It is important not to care what others think. And this is extremely important because you do not want to take into consideration what other people have to say, because you will be influenced and will never be able to hold onto your investing principles. If you was to listen to what others said, he will become like most people, living an average life. When it comes to achieving the success you want and living your dreams, there will be people telling you that achieving what you want is impossible and simply suggest you get a real job. Never listen to the naysayer. You have to follow your heart and do what you think is right. Circle of Competence” is what he has used as a way to focus his investment on only operating in areas he knew best. The concept basically explains that every one of us has developed useful knowledge on certain areas, and what we need to do is to operate in these areas that we are good at. When you care too much about what others think and say about you, you will restrict your own freedom and it will prevent you from living your best life according to your own terms.
  4. Read, Read, Read – The more you read, the smarter you will get and the more knowledge you will gain. When you become more knowledgeable, you will be able to make a better decision that will lead you to the success you want. Highly successful people are great readers and you have to adopt the same habit. Commit to reading every single day. If you find that you are busy and do not have much time to read, start small and read for 15 minutes a day. If possible, go for more. Read at least an hour a day. You can wake up earlier and make time for reading or you can make good use of your commuting time for reading. You need to be a lifelong learner and when reality changes, you need to change and adjust you strategy.
  5. Have A Margin of Safety – The concept of “margin of safety” is easy to understand, and requires great discipline and patience.  Buffett uses the metaphor of driving across a bridge to explain this concept. When you build a bridge, you insist it can carry 30,000 pounds, but you only drive 10,000-pound trucks across it. You have a margin of safety of 20,000 pounds. And when it comes to investing, you will never buy a business worth $50 million for $60 million. You will buy the business worth $50 million at a price below that to ensure there is a margin of safety. This concept is essential in the principle of value investing. It helps investors make better and wiser decisions before jumping into buying a stock. When an opportunity is presented, evaluate using the margin of safety concept before you decide.
  6. Have A Competitive Advantage – Buffett said that capitalism is all about somebody coming in and trying to take the castle. And what you need for your castle is a moat to protect your castle from your enemies. In the business world, your business needs to have a durable competitive advantage to survive for the long term. Today, the competition is tough and people can copy exactly what you do and produce the same product and put you out of business. This is why having a competitive advantage to protect your business like a moat protecting a castle is important. Buffett said that he will invest in businesses that have a competitive advantage because he wants to make sure that the business will still be around after years down the road.
  7. Schedule Your Personality – Build your business around your personality. In order to succeed in what you do; you must find your pace and your sweet spot so that you will enjoy your work and perform at your best. Buffett loves reading and he chooses to read to improve his knowledge, and then he acts as the strategist and manages his business from backstage. He organizes his business according to his personality. If you love drinking a cup of coffee before you start your work, do it. Organize your workspace according to your own taste, that will make you more productive. The key is to play to your strength and personality so that you can become the best at what you do.
  8. Always Be Competing – Buffett believes that one of the most common business killers is complacency. When people fall into their comfort zone and fail to improve their competitiveness, their businesses will eventually fail or be taken over by the competitor. And to stay ahead of the game, you must always be competing. Every business has problems in every industry. The key to making a business thrive is its ability to compete and stand out from the rest. And this is why you invest in a business that continues to thrive because you are always competing. Therefore, never rest on your laurels, keep competing, keep improving and innovating in your business.
  9. Model Success – There is no way you can succeed alone in this world. If you want to achieve great success in life, you need others. and, you must model other successful people, or better yet, get yourself a mentor. Take a look in the sports industry, every outstanding and professional athlete has a coach. Tiger Woods has a coach. Michael Jordan has a coach. You need a coach to guide you on the journey to success. Your coach can also remind you of your goals and inspire you to do your best. In business, having a mentor is said to be one of the most important keys to success. Success leaves clues and what you need to do to produce a great result is to model the success of others. Learn and study from others, and then learn, grow and improve yourself to become better.
  10. Give Unconditional Love – Finally, the most powerful force in this world is unconditional love. And everyone who wants to achieve success in life gives unconditional love.
  11. Bonus: Power of Compounding – “The power of compounding your money inside a successful business for a long time is nearly unmatched in capitalism.”

The final rule for success by Warren Buffett has a lot to do with your personality and beliefs. Being a philanthropist, Buffett believes in helping society and giving back to the world. This could be the reason why he has been so successful. He is always looking to help and to give, rather than to take. When you operate in a giving and grateful mindset, you will put your customers first, and this is what makes a business enterprise thrive

Source:  https://www.thewisdompost.com/billionaires/warren-buffett/warren-buffetts-top-10-rules-success/1575

10 Rules of Success According to Oprah

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Oprah Winfrey is known as one of the most successful individuals globally and her estimated net worth is almost $3 billion! To her degree of success and power, it took a lot of perseverance and wisdom.

Here are the ten rules of success according to Oprah Winfrey.

  1. Rather than overwhelming yourself with the big picture, ask yourself what the next right move is. It’s easy to feel intimidated by everything on your plate, so instead of facing such an enormous proposition, take things one step at a time. Make the best next move you can, then make the next move, and then the next one, each time going as carefully and as thoughtfully as you can. Success isn’t one giant leap — it’s a series of baby steps. And, if you make one misstep, understand that your life and your career won’t be defined by that one mistake. You have more steps to take, and you’ll arrive at success eventually.
  2. When you see an opportunity, take it. Success has been a result of grace and blessings, but there’s also been opportunity. The key to being successful is to recognize when opportunity is in front of you and seize it.  “Luck is preparation meeting the moment of opportunity,”
  3. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. You’re not the person you were five, ten, twenty, or more years ago. A lot of wisdom just comes with age, so don’t beat yourself up for youthful transgressions. You didn’t know any better — but you know better now! Look at those past mistakes as teachable opportunities, learn as much as you can from them, and then move forward.
  4. Never stop improving yourself. This means continually working on your personality, your skill set, and your network so that you are in the best possible position to make a difference. You always need to be improving if you want to get ahead. If people are saying that about you, take it as a compliment. You’re doing a lot, and others are noticing.
  5. Go as hard as you can. Recognize and take responsibility that you have control only over your own performance. You can’t control what others are doing. All you can do is the best you know how, all the time. It’s like a race: you just run hard until you read the finish line, and all you can do is make yourself run more quickly, not make your competition run more slowly. That’s what brings you success: building yourself up, not looking behind you to see where your competition is.
  6. Don’t just dream — believe. It’s OK to have big dreams for yourself; we all do. But if you’re going to be successful, you’ve got to do more than dream. You have to believe that the life you aspire to lead will one day be yours. Winfrey always knew that she would live a big, fulfilling life; she had that strong belief in what her future held. Do the same, and hold firmly to that belief, even in the most difficult of times, and you’re likely to get exactly where you want to be.
  7. Remember that people are more alike than they are different. We’re all seeking the same thing, We all want to reach our fullest potential. Sure, we all go about that in different ways, because we all have different skills and different passions, but at the end of the day, we all just want to be true to ourselves and be, the “truest expression” of ourselves.
  8. Find your purpose in life. If you’re going to be successful, you need to figure out why you’re here on Earth. Most entrepreneurs already feel like they know their purpose, but if you don’t, stop! Put everything on pause, take some time for genuine soul searching and self-reflection, and find your purpose. Find your why!
  9. Keep yourself grounded and centered. It’s easy to get lost in your work, and it’s easy to let your ego inflate, but if you keep your focus, stay compassionate, and always seek to understand and connect with others, you’ll improve your chances of success substantially.
  10. Try to remember that everything will be OK. If you’re aiming for big time success, you’ve got to be patient and take the long view. Yes, it’s natural to be a little scared, but never lose faith that everything will work out just fine.

Source:  https://moneyinc.com/10-rules-success-according-oprah-winfrey/

Being Mindful

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Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens.

Mindfulness is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present—of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you. It means not living your life on “autopilot.” Instead, you experience life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions.

Here are a few key components of practicing mindfulness:

  • Pay close attention to your breathing, especially when you’re feeling intense emotions.
  • Notice—really notice—what you’re sensing in a given moment, the sights, sounds, and smells that ordinarily slip by without reaching your conscious awareness.
  • Recognize that your thoughts and emotions are fleeting and do not define you, an insight that can free you from negative thought patterns.
  • Tune into your body’s physical sensations, from the water hitting your skin in the shower to the way your body rests in your office chair.
  • Find “micro-moments” of mindfulness throughout the day to reset your focus and sense of purpose.

Studies suggest that mindfulness practices may help people manage stress, cope better with serious illness and reduce anxiety and depression. Many people who practice mindfulness report an increased ability to relax, a greater enthusiasm for life and improved self-esteem.

Becoming more mindful requires practice. Here are some tips to help you get started and develop these skills in everyday life:

  • Mindful breathing, a common component of many forms of meditation that involves bringing attention to the physical sensations of the breath as it flows in and out. Take some deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold for 4 second,  then exhale through the mouth to a count of 4 and hold for 4 seconds. Repeat often.
  • Enjoy a stroll. As you walk, pay attention to your breath and the sights and sounds around you. If thoughts and worries enter your mind, note them but then return to the present.
  • Practice mindful eating. Be aware of taste, textures, and flavors in each bite. Listen to when your body is hungry and full.
  • Body scan, another common practice where you bring attention to different parts of your body in turn, from head to toe. This can help you connect with your body.
    The raisin exercise, where you slowly use all of your senses, one after another, to observe a raisin in great detail, from the way it feels in your hand to the way its taste bursts on your tongue. This exercise is intended to help you focus on the present moment, and can be tried with different foods.

A major benefit of mindfulness is that it encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body. For example, studies have shown that mindfulness can help people achieve and maintain a healthy weight.

You can practice mindfulness throughout the day, even while answering e-mails, sitting in traffic or waiting in line. All you have to do is become more aware—of your breath, of your feet on the ground, of your fingers typing, of the people and voices around you.

References:

  1. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/06/mindfulness-your-health
  2. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#how-cultivate-mindfulness

Mindfulness

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“Mindfulness is about paying attention to what is going on in our minds, our bodies, and the surrounding environment—and doing this in a kind and curious manner.” ~ Unknown

Mindfulness means noticing and paying attention to what is going on in the present moment, without passing judgment on it. Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens. You often spend more time thinking about what’s coming up in the future. Or dwelling on things in the past you can’t change. You can miss out on experiencing the present.

Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

It’s possible to train yourself to focus on the present moment. You become aware of what’s going on inside and around you—your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment. You observe these moments without judgment. This is called mindfulness.

Mindfulness has been shown to be effective for reducing stress, improving emotional balance, increasing self-awareness, helping with anxiety and depression, and coping more effectively with chronic pain.

Mindfulness can involve a sitting meditation that’s practiced in a quiet space. In this practice, you focus on your breathing or sensations in your body. If your mind wanders—like thoughts popping in about things you need to do—you try to return your mind to the present moment.

But mindfulness doesn’t have to be done sitting still or in silence. You can integrate the practice into things you do every day, like walking or eating. You can also be mindful while interacting with others.

Health Benefits of Mindfulness

Studies suggest that focusing on the present can have a positive impact on health and well-being.

Mindfulness has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. There’s also evidence that mindfulness can lower blood pressure and improve sleep. It may even help people cope with pain. “For many chronic illnesses, mindfulness meditation seems to improve quality of life and reduce mental health symptoms,” says Dr. Zev Schuman-Olivier of Harvard University.

Mindfulness appears to help with depression in two ways.

First, it helps you develop the ability to stay grounded in the present, explains Dr. Sona Dimidjian of the University of Colorado Boulder. With depression, “your attention can get hijacked into the past or future,” she explains. You spend time focusing on past negative experiences or worrying about things to come.

Second, mindfulness can help you “de-center” from such thoughts. “It’s like being able to sit on the riverbank and watch thoughts floating by like leaves on a stream,” Dimidjian says. “Developing the skill of mindfulness can help stop you from being pulled into any one thought and carried down the stream. People often experience thoughts like, ‘nothing ever works out for me,’ or ‘it’s always going to be this way. Over time, and with practice, you can develop the ability to stand back from these painful thought patterns.”

Researchers are now studying whether mindfulness training can help with a variety of other conditions, including PTSD, eating disorders, and addiction.

Mindfulness, to be effective, takes practice, time and dedication. It’s important to aim for a few minutes of mindfulness each day to start.

A body scan meditation can be a good way to connect with your body. It helps make you aware of how your body feels as you mentally scan from head to toe.

Start in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Take several deep breaths. Then, notice your feet. How do they feel?

Let your scan travel up your body—legs, stomach, arms, hands, neck, and finally, head. Notice any sensations or discomfort. Try not to change or judge these feelings—you’re simply checking in. Doing body scans on a regular basis can help increase mindfulness.

in summary, mindfulness is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present—of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you. It means not living your life on “autopilot.” Instead, you experience life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions.

References:

  1. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/06/mindfulness-your-health
  2. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition

Practicing Gratitude

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Practicing gratitude has incredible effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others.

Practicing gratitude can have far reaching life-enhancing effects, from improving your mental health to boosting your relationships with family members and friends.

Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins—like the bus showing up right on time, a stranger holding the door for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning.

Each of these small moments strings together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens your ability to better notice the peace, joy and good in life.

Building your capacity for gratitude isn’t difficult. It just takes practice. The more you can bring your attention to that which you feel grateful for, the more you’ll notice to feel grateful for!

1. Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say. Just how much of a habitual response is it? Is it a hasty aside, an afterthought? How are you feeling when you express thanks in small transactions? Stressed, uptight, a little absent-minded? Do a quick scan of your body—are you already physically moving on to your next interaction?

2. Pick one interaction a day. When your instinct to say “thanks” arises, stop for a moment and take note. Can you name what you feel grateful for, even beyond the gesture that’s been extended? Then say thank you.

Robert Emmons, psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Davis, explains that there are two key components of practicing gratitude:

  1. We affirm the good things we’ve received
  2. We acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness

Research has linked gratitude with a wide range of health, mental and emotional benefits, including strengthening your immune system and improving sleep patterns, feeling optimistic and experiencing more joy and pleasure, being more helpful and generous, and feeling less lonely and isolated.

“Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness”. When you practice gratitude, you acknowledge the good things in the world and the gifts you’ve received in your life.” ~ Robert Emmons

References:

  1. https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/

Never Let Yourself Be Defeated

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“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

― Maya Angelou

“Winners are not those who never lose, they are the ones who never quit.”

Sometimes you may not win. But that is not your defeat. You are defeated only when you accept it. You must never accept your defeat at the first occurrence. In the game of baseball, if a batter swings and misses the first pitch, it doesn’t mean that he is out.