Category Archives: Emotional Well-Being

Value Time Over Money

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“It’s essential that you place a high value on your time.”

Happiness is more than simply a positive mood, according to Psychology Today. It is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, one with a sense of meaning, purpose and deep contentment. Happiness encompasses feelings of satisfaction and c. involves creating strong relationships and helping others. It requires also uncomfortable or painful experiences—to continue to learn, grow, and evolve.

Coincidentally, emotional well-being refers to the emotional quality of an individual’s everyday experience—the frequency and intensity of experiences of joy, stress, sadness, anger, and affection that make one’s life pleasant or unpleasant.

Time and time again, research has shown that not only do you need a finite amount of money to be happy, but that prioritizing things like time, relationships, hobbies and family may actually lead to long-term well-being. Research shows that the finite sweet spot for yearly income is between $60,000 and $95,000 a year, not a high six-figure salary. Earnings above $95,000 do not necessarily equate to increased well-being.

A study published by Science Advances in 2019 found that recent grads who valued time over money, in which they took jobs that were less demanding but also paid less money, were generally happier.

People who prioritize money are generally driven by extrinsic motivations like shopping, which bring little personal satisfaction, researchers concluded.

On the other hand, people who prioritize time are typically intrinsically motivated, focusing on hobbies, relationships and cultivating gratitude instead. Intrinsic motivations build autonomy and purpose, which lead to long-term happiness, the researchers concluded.

Although wealth offers the potential for people to spend their time in happier ways, such as by living in a more expensive apartment closer to the office, survey data suggest that wealthier individuals often spend more of their time engaging in activities that are less enjoyable, such as commuting. Research suggests that rising incomes are linked to an increased sense of time scarcity.

Takeaway

Happy people live with purpose and value time over money. They find joy in lasting relationships, working toward their goals, and living according to their values. They tend not to garner happiness from material goods or luxury vacations. They’re fine with the simple pleasures of life and cultivating gratitude.

People who cultivate gratitude tend to better appreciate and enjoy life, as gratitude creates satisfaction that is intrinsic. To practice gratitude, reflect on what you’re grateful for each morning to shape the rest of the day, keep a gratitude journal, and reframe negative experiences by finding something within them for which you’re grateful, and can learn and grow.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness
  2. https://www.pnas.org/content/107/38/16489.full
  3. https://www.synchronybank.com/blog/millie/money-and-happiness/
  4. https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/5/9/eaax2615.full
  5. https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/5-things-science-learned-about-happiness-last-year.html
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness/how-find-happiness

6 Habits to Build Wealth

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“If your goal is to become financially secure, you’ll likely attain it…. But if your motive is to make money to spend money on the good life,… you’re never gonna make it.” Thomas Stanley and William Danko

Your financial independence is far more important than showing off your wealth, according to authors of Millionaire Next Door, Thomas Stanley and William Danko. They assert that millionaires frequently remind themselves that those who spend all their income on high-priced luxury items often don’t have much accumulated wealth to their names and tend to live on the paycheck to paycheck treadmill.

Yet, many paths exist to building wealth which have little to do with wages and income. Wealthy people tend to practice daily habits that are designed to protect and grow their assets and help keep their body and mind in balance, according to financial experts who’ve studied subject.

They have found over and over again that you don’t have to be a high-income one-percenter to be wealthy. Many wealthy individuals never made more than $60,000 to $70,000 per year, but did a very good job of managing their expenses, cash flow and spending behavior. “Many people who live in expensive homes and drive luxury cars do not actually have much wealth”, according to Thomas and Danko. “Then, we discovered something even odder: Many people who have a great deal of wealth do not even live in upscale neighborhoods.”

Wealthy individuals generated several million dollars of net worth, simply because they started financial planning early in life, they saved as aggressively as they could afford to, and they invested that money in assets and stayed invested over the long. In short, “one of the reasons that millionaires are economically successful is that they think differently.”

Live Below Your Means and Practice Gratitude

“Wealth is more often the result of a lifestyle of hard work, perseverance, planning, and, most of all, self-discipline.” Thomas Stanley and William Danko

Related to not showing off your wealth, authors Stanley and Danko found that the vast majority of millionaires didn’t spend a lot of money and were grateful for things they did own and the lifestyle they lived. In fact, they spent well below their means given their fortunes. In addition, the majority of the wealthy reported that they created and followed a personal budget, and created and maintain a gratitude journal. In other words, they respected their wealth, kept their spending on a tight leash and practice gratitude daily.

There are a few key habits of building wealth:

  1. Remember to pay yourself first. Basically, paying yourself first is about having your financial and budgeting ducks in a row. One key to building wealth is creating a budget and sticking to it. Wealthy people know how to hold the line on discretionary spending items that can help them increase the “invest” portion of their monthly budget.
  2. Look ahead at your goals. Wealthy people typically set concrete goals, both personal and financial, and have a long-term focus that looks years, if not decades, down the road. The more specific the goals and the longer term the goals are, the better. The wealthy understand that it begins with setting personal goals—what you want to get out of life and how you might prioritize your list. And once you have an idea what you want to accomplish personally, you can plot a financial road map to help steer you there. In other words, the path to wealth involves starting early, and focusing on the long term.
  3. Do your homework; keep your cool. Markets go up, and markets go down—often suddenly and for no apparent reason. Define your comfort level with risk, keep your emotions in check, and recognize what you can and can’t control. According to Siuty, there’s no “secret sauce,” except that, to build wealth, it helps to “stay disciplined, be methodical, and not let emotions get the better of you.”
  4. Lead a non-lavish lifestyle. Despite the popular characterization of rich people throwing money wantonly around in movies and TV, in reality, wealthier folks actually tend to look for value in their purchases. They generally understand the difference between price and value. In other words, they’re not afraid to open the pocketbook, but they tend to expect value in return.
  5. Always expand your education. Education is one of the keys to success, and reading is one of the most efficient ways to learn. According to Thomas Corley, author of Rich Habits: 67% of the rich watch TV for one hour or less a day. Only 6% of the wealthy watch reality shows, he wrote, while 78% of the poor do. And, 86% of the wealthy “love to read,” with most of them reading for self-improvement.
  6. Get up early, eat healthy, exercise. The wisdom that “time is money” goes all the way back to Benjamin Franklin, so it’s no surprise that the wealthy tend to wake early and make the most of their time. The other aphorism the wealthy take to heart is “health is wealth.” According to Corley, 57% of wealthy people count calories every day, while 70% eat fewer than 300 calories of junk food per day. Some 76% do aerobic exercise at least four days per week.
  7. Practice Gratitude. Gratitude makes people more optimistic and positive. It improves relationships, which is strongly correlated with financial success, as well as health, happiness and longevity. And, grateful people are less likely to purchase things they don’t need and that can help them save more! The bottom line is this: It doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t appreciate it! Without gratitude, you’ll never feel successful and wealthy, no matter your net worth. So regardless of your level of financial success, practicing gratitude is essential.

Seeking a life of balance in mind and body, creating measurable goals, and prioritizing saving and investing, can help put you on the right path, and help keep you from straying from that path. And the earlier you start, the better.

References ‘

  1. https://tickertape.tdameritrade.com/personal-finance/behavior-wealthy-habits-rich-16001
  2. https://brandongaille.com/the-millionaire-next-door-summary/
  3. https://www.fool.com/investing/best-warren-buffett-quotes.aspx
  4. https://partners4prosperity.com/thank-and-grow-rich-gratitude-and-wealth/

Mindfulness and Emotional Well-being

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“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a neutral, nonjudgmental filter.

Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that you pay attention to your current thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment.

When you practice mindfulness, your thoughts tune into what you’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing your past or imagining your future.

To be mindful is to be fully conscious or aware of your surroundings. It’s important to not think or worry about the future. Instead, the goal is to physically, emotionally, mentally, and cognitively stay within the present moment.


 
“Mindfulness…is the presence of heart.” Chinese Translation

To discover mindfulness is to discover what happens when you deliberately take time to detect the reality and your perception of the present moment no matter what it’s like—and gradually cultivate ‘an open heart’ to what we notice and sense, asserts teacher Adam Moskowitz. 

Mindfulness Chinese symbol

A Chinese translation for mindfulness is presence of heart. At its core mindfulness is a heart-centered practice. It is a realization of your fundamental wholeness, according to Moskowitz. It is a discovery of your innate care for yourself and one another. It is recognition of the truth of your interdependence—how we rely on one another and how the world relies on us.

Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness, even for just a few weeks, can bring a variety of physical, psychological, and social benefits. Essentially, mindfulness is good for your health, wealth and emotional well-being.

Mindfulness can be cultivated and practiced daily, Jon Kabat-Zinn emphasizes in his Greater Good video. “It’s about living your life as if it really mattered, moment by moment by moment by moment.”

It is essential for our wellbeing to take a few minutes each day to cultivate mindfulness and achieve a positive mind-body balance. Here are a few key components of practicing mindfulness that Kabat-Zinn and others identify:

  • Pay close attention to your breathing, especially when you’re feeling intense emotions.
  • Notice—really notice—what you’re sensing in a given moment, the sights, sounds, and smells that ordinarily slip by without reaching your conscious awareness.
  • Recognize that your thoughts and emotions are fleeting and do not define you, an insight that can free you from negative thought patterns.
  • Tune into your body’s physical sensations, from the water hitting your skin in the shower to the way your body rests in your office chair.

The cultivation of moment-by-moment awareness of our surrounding environment is a practice that helps us better cope with the difficult thoughts and feelings that cause us stress and anxiety in everyday life.

With regular practice of mindfulness exercises, you can harness the ability to root the mind in the present moment and deal with life’s challenges in a clear-minded, calm, assertive way. It’s about the challenges and the rewards of being less self-centered and more self aware.

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
  2. https://www.withinmeditation.com/blog/2020/10/2/presence-of-heart-what-mindfulness-is-and-isnt
  3. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness
  4. https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-can-try-today/

Retiree Emotional Well-being

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Retirement presents some unique emotional challenges.

There are significant emotional challenges of retirement. Knowing how to deal with retirement emotionally can be just as important as, or more important than, financial preparation.

Most people spend the majority of their lives working to cultivate a career and raise a family. It’s human nature to take solace in the daily routine that you developed, but when you reach retirement you may find that it takes some time to get used to your new life after leaving the workforce and/ or becoming an empty nester.

https://twitter.com/kathrynpeyton/status/1215464171912884224

If you’re having a hard time adjusting to retirement, you’re not alone. A survey of 1,000 people ages 60 to 73 shows that about two-thirds of Baby Boomer participants said they had difficulties in transitioning from their primary profession to retirement. The survey also identified the top reasons that participants had trouble adapting to life in retirement:

  • 37% said that they missed the daily social interactions they would have with work colleagues.
  • 32% had trouble adjusting to a new daily routine.
  • 22% found it difficult to find ways to create meaning and purpose in their life after work.

The good news is that eventually more than half of the participants found that they adjusted to these changes rather quickly, and 97% reported being “somewhat” or “rather” satisfied in their retirement.

The key to adjusting to these life changes and living a fulfilling life after work is emotionally preparing for the transition years and decades prior to reaching retirement age.

Deal with Retirement Emotionally

Though retirement is often seen as a time to slow down, this doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to remain active or find meaning outside of your professional life. And, there are ways to cope with the emotional challenges of retirement:

  1. Find activities you enjoy outside of work. – Retirement is the time for you to do the things that you enjoy most. Volunteer your time at your favorite local organization or take up a new hobby. Staying active is a great way to find meaning in life after work.
  2. Begin to expand your relationship base. – Chances are, many of your friendships were formed in the workplace. Though it’s great to keep in touch with former colleagues, try to develop new friendships. Friends are the key to staying connected and maintaining your well-being.
  3. Include your family in your pre-retirement plans. – Once you’re retired, you will have more time to spend with your spouse. Actively include him or her in your pre-retirement plans. Have a conversation about what you would like life after retirement to look like and discuss how you can help support one another.
  4. Have a solid financial plan. – Not having enough resources to support yourself after retirement can add stress to your life. One way to make sure that you are emotionally prepared for the transition is to make sure that you have a financial plan in place that provides a quality of life for yourself in retirement. 

Change in life status is exciting and can be positive if you’re prepared.

Mindset, attitudes, behaviors and habits.

Retirement can mean looking forward to a simpler, less stressful life, free of commuting, demanding boss, meetings and deadlines.

Good health care, combined with recreational and fitness opportunities, are critical attributes of retirement of a healthy retirement. Good health, combined with a moderate cost of living, are critical since 96% of retirees—and 99% of those age 75 and over—say that health is more important than wealth to live well in retirement, according to the survey.

Yet health and wealth are very intertwined. People with financial resources can invest more in their health, and those in poor health have a harder time enjoying what their money can buy.

Tackling tough financial issues, such as overspending, debt and “having more month left than money available”, are a great way to drive change. Better yet, it’s always a good idea to learn more about financial management matters, getting out of debt and becoming a discipline saver for the future and invest for the long term.

To retire with financial security and sense of confidence, most financial experts recommend a certain liquid asset level, a mostly paid-off mortgage, and multiple streams of income. Furthermore, they observe that:

  1. Retirees are feeling increasingly confident about their ability to maintain a comfortable lifestyle without running out of money. And, that is the primary goal for retirement.
  2. Retirees want a physically active, healthy and vibrant lifestyle.
  3. Retirees want to be emotionally engaged and socially fulfilling lifestyle.

Find happiness in retirement

Finding happiness and contentment in retirement requires retiring with core pursuits and sense of purpose. What’s paramount to an happy retirement and life is having multiple activities/ projects / endeavors that you’re passionate about participating.

These are activities (projects or endeavors) that excite and fulfill; hobbies on steroids and things you look forward to. Examples are learning an instrument, learning a language, and enjoying golf, biking, yoga, walking, hiking. Wes Moss, a managing partner at Capital Investment Advisors in Atlanta and author of three personal-finance books and host of the Money Matters weekly radio call-in show, commissioned Georgia Tech University in Atlanta do a statistical analysis retirees’ activities and found that “happy retirees have 3.6 core pursuits. Unhappy retirees have 1.9 core pursuits”.

When you have a long life expectancy, you can spend the first sixty years working for you and your family, then the next forty years working for the greater good and contributing to make the world a better place. Working for the greater food gives you a sense of greater purpose. One in five Americans downright hate their jobs. Compare this to the results that show that three in five could “take it or leave it”.

The Happiness Retirees on the Block (HROB) create their happiness by engaging in a long series of core pursuits — activities, projects and endeavors — that make a difference in their lives. Your core pursuits can lead you to a more fulfilling future while adding life to your years. Core pursuits can lead to a more fulfilling future while adding happy life to your years.

Get going, Get growing, Continue learning

Sparse diet, taking the stairs and take on activities that feed their soul and focus on you and the greater good. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but a lack of curiosity is what kills the happy retiree.

References;

  1. https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2015/02/03/baby-boomers-retirement-emotional/22799155/
  2. https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/retirement-planning-the-emotional-toll-of-transitioning-to-retirement
  3. https://www.barrons.com/articles/you-can-probably-retire-earlier-than-you-think-says-personal-finance-guru-wes-moss-51599870173
  4. https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewbiggs/2020/02/19/fact-check-are-41-of-retirees-economically-insecure/amp/

Mindset: Two Wolves – A Cherokee Parable

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“Feed your faith and your fears will starve. Feed your fears and your faith will starve.” Pastor Max Lucado

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

“This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The old chief simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

Takeaway

Your thoughts can be your best friend or worst enemy. That is, if you let them.

Think about how you may be “feeding” your positive or negative thoughts, and allowing them to control your prevailing mood, attitude and behavior.

You have the ability to change anything in your life that no longer serves a purpose. Start today by believing that there is nothing in life that you can’t achieve. It is vital that you maintain a positive mindset and focus on what’s positive in your life. Dreams and goals cannot come to pass with a negative mindset.

References:

  1. https://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/
  2. https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_580fda27e4b06e45c5c6ffd6

Omega-3 EPA and DHA

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When it comes to the benefits of omega-3 fish oil supplementation, the evidence shows that it benefits both the mind and heart.  Our brains, hearts, and bodies appear to suffer when we don’t get enough of these healthy and essential fats. In terms of brain and heart health, omega-3s derived from wild cold water fish oil (or grass-fed animal fat and other kinds of seafood) are best because they are loaded with two particular brain- and heart-healthy essential fatty acids (EFAs) called eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA).

A Harvard School of Public Health study published in 2011 found that omega-3 deficiency is likely the sixth biggest killer of Americans, and maybe the underlying factor of roughly 96,000 premature deaths each year!

What Are the Benefits of Omega-3 Supplements?

Scientific Benefits of Omega-3 Supplements | BrainMD

First, the most important fact to remember about omega-3 essential fatty acids (EFAs) is that they are indeed essential, meaning that your body needs to get them from your diet. Unfortunately, with today’s modern diet, which is light on omega-3-rich foods (fish, grass-fed meats, nuts, seed and dark leafy greens) and heavy on foods with saturated fats and oils (corn, safflower, soybean, sunflower, cottonseed, peanut, etc.) that are rich in omega-6 EFAs.

The American Heart Association recommend at least two oily fish meals per week (which equates to roughly 500 mg per day of EPA and DHA), a full gram per day for those with coronary heart disease—and even more for those with high triglyceride levels—there’s good reason.

  • Inflammation. Studies indicate that DHA and EPA from fish oil may support healthy inflammation levels in the body.10 Keeping inflammation levels in check supports a healthy vascular system.
  • Blood pressure and heart function. Research has also correlated adequate amounts of DHA and EPA with healthy blood pressure levels.11 And while still inconclusive, some studies have shown that EPA and DHA may play a role in healthy heart rhythm.12
  • Triglycerides. Having a high level of triglycerides, a type of fat (lipid) in your blood, can increase your risk of heart disease. A very strong body of research suggests that DHA and EPA help to maintain healthy triglyceride levels.13

Our brains, hearts, and bodies appear to suffer when we don’t get enough of these healthy fats. In terms of brain and heart health, omega-3s derived from wild cold water fish oil are best because they are loaded with two particular brain- and heart-healthy EFAs called eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). Literally, thousands of scientific studies have been conducted using fish oil rich in these two nutritional dynamos—with mostly promising results.

Major Benefits of EPA and DHA For Your Health

It has been scientifically demonstrated that your brain needs the omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA to function optimally. Though not technically classed as essential, these fatty acids are called essential for a reason – our bodies need them, and the only sure way to get enough of them is through foods or supplements. Let’s take a closer look at these two most important omega-3 fatty acids.

Power Team: EPA + DHA

Humans need a variety of fatty acids for our cell membranes to function. EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) are essential to the functioning of all our 30 trillion cells. They’re building blocks for the membrane systems that do most of the heavy lifting for our cells.

We require premade EPA+DHA from our diet. Unfortunately, the modern diet has an unhealthy balance of fatty acids: we get an abundance of saturated and omega-6 fatty acids and not nearly enough omega-3s. Also, most of the omega-3s we do get must be converted to EPA+DHA, which the body doesn’t do effectively.

Numerous surveys indicate populations that don’t consume a lot of seafood (such as the U.S.) don’t get sufficient supplies of EPA and DHA from their diet. Since plant foods don’t supply them, the main dietary sources of EPA and DHA are cold-water fish and dietary supplements. Considering the widespread contamination of seafood by mercury and other toxins, many experts advise that taking a purified fish oil supplement could be a smart choice.

 1. Promotes Healthy Mood

EPA+DHA have been tested on adults with mood problems in at least 26 randomized, controlled clinical trials. Two meta-analyses, which analyze the data pooled from all the best trials, have concluded that these omega-3s are consistently beneficial for mood. These meta-analyses also suggest that fish oils with more EPA than DHA work better, with the best ratio being around 1.5 to 1 EPA to DHA.

Children and adolescents with mood difficulties commonly have problems with academic performance, self-esteem, and socialization. In two clinical trials with youth aged 7-14 years, EPA+DHA 1600 mg per day (1400 mg EPA, 200 mg DHA) for 12 weeks substantially improved coping with distraction and stress – as well as mood, irritability, and self-esteem – compared with placebo.

 2. Improves Attention and Behavior

Children and adolescents with attention and learning challenges often have low Omega-3 Index values (about 3% on average, compared to a healthy 8% or higher). A 2018 meta-analysis concluded that supplementation with EPA+DHA improved parental reports of attention and behavior, as well as mental focus on cognitive tests. The researchers concluded that to ensure the most benefit, the EPA dose should be at least 500 mg per day.

 3. Essential for the Heart and Circulation

Numerous health agencies worldwide recommend EPA and DHA for promoting and enhancing cardiovascular health. Meta-analyses clearly indicate that supplementation with EPA+DHA at doses of 2-3 grams per day can promote healthy triglyceride status and blood pressure regulation. Additionally, EPA+DHA supplementation can improve blood vessel function, especially their capacities for relaxation and flexibility.

 4. Supports Healthy Immunity

The immune system is the body’s security force. When the body is invaded, it goes on full alert to eliminate the threat. EPA and DHA support healthy immune responsiveness.

Having sufficient EPA+DHA in our tissues gives the immune system the option to generate messengers from them to coordinate its activities. Healthy immunity is held in delicate balance by EPA and DHA. No other omega-3s can substitute for EPA and DHA in this crucial role.

 5. Vital for Healthy Pregnancy

Babies of mothers who have good EPA+DHA status through pregnancy have a lower risk for problems with mood, cognition, and behavior in their early childhood. DHA, the predominant omega-3 in our cell membranes, is essential to the developing fetal heart, brain, and retina.

A meta-analysis of 38 trials concluded that children born to mothers with higher prenatal EPA+DHA intakes show better motor, vision, and cognitive development in their first two years of life. Yet U.S. women on average have considerably lower EPA+DHA intakes than recommended by the U.S. National Institute of Medicine.

 6. Total Brain and Body Protection

EPA and DHA have been shown to protect brain circulatory function and preserve memory and other cognitive capacities. EPA and DHA support many other organs and body systems including the liver (by preventing triglyceride buildup), the joints (promoting joint comfort), eyes (essential for retinal function), and muscles (protecting against mobility loss as we age).

With strong evidence supporting the positive effects of omega-3s EPA and DHA on the brain, heart, and entire body, taking a fish oil supplement daily can have a significant impact on individual wellness. BrainMD is proud to recommend its new, high EPA and DHA premium liquid fish oil…

https://twitter.com/yourwellbeing88/status/1278666518390165505?s=20

References:

  1. https://brainmd.com/blog/omega-3s-the-supplement-your-mind-and-heart-can-get-behind/
  2. https://brainmd.com/blog/benefits-of-epa-and-dha-fish-oil-supplements/

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

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“It’s never the situation that’s at fault. It’s the way we choose to view it. How we see our lives is how we live our lives.” Nicolas Cole

Many people, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. They believe that because they were unsuccessful in the past, they will always be unsuccessful going forward. In other words, they continue to see a barrier or obstacle to their success in their heads, even when no barrier or obstacle exists between where they are in their life and where they want to go.

Yet, no matter how hard the world tries to hold you back and convince you that you’re not worthy of achieving the life you desire, it’s imperative that you always continue to believe that your goals and what you want to achieve in life are possible. Believing you can become successful and you can achieve your wildest dreams and goals are the most important and critical steps in actually achieving them.

Taking accountability.

The reason why so many people struggle and fail at achieving their wildest dreams and goals is that they take the easy path and blame others for how they feel, for their current life, or for their personal issues.

Instead of “manning (or womanning)-up”, they default to blaming their parents, their childhood, or their bad luck for the reality they find themselves.

The key to achieve success and accomplish your goals is to take accountability. To shift your perspective from “blame” to “ownership.” By taking ownership and accepting accountability, you are allowing yourself to open up and to see opportunities to learn and grow.

Focus On The Lesson, Not The Problem

Many people fail to realize that it’s the journey that’s most important, not the end of the journey or reaching the destination. You are “successful” when you are walking your path, always learning, always growing. You are “doing what you love” when you see every moment as an opportunity.

It’s on you to discover the opportunities to grow and learn, and to embrace every moment as an opportunity.  Regardless of where you are in life, or what you’re doing, there are lessons to be learned. And unless you can discover those lessons and embrace your own journey, you will never actually reach the state of feeling “successful”–in the sense that you are learning and growing and effortlessly becoming a better version of yourself.

Lessons Are Everywhere. It’s On You To Find Them.

It is important to train and to condition yourself to always find the positive. Create moments of growth and opportunity. Growth is the result of how you utilize your environment and the people around you, and create opportunities for yourself.

The key to shifting your perspective is to remember what you’re aiming for. For example: A job where you perform mundane tasks is going to continue being mundane if you just see it as “just a job.” But a job where you perform mundane tasks that could be seen as a way to learn skills you need in order to one day do what it is you truly want to do, is no longer “just a job.” It’s an opportunity to learn.

You should recognize that what you look for is what you tend to see. So, instead of looking for an outcome that is negative or some flaw, look for something positive that can be beneficial or add to your. Shift your search for happiness and you can help create what you most desire.

Replace negative thoughts with something more positive. Practice focusing on the positive thoughts. The more you practice, the easier it will be for these thoughts to become second nature. Strive to say at least three positive thoughts about yourself each day, as it can make you feel happier and more confident during the day and help banish negative thoughts. Remember that perspectives can change, so work towards striving for positivity.

In the story above, nothing physical or tangible changed with your circumstances. The only thing that changed was your perspective.  And that makes all the difference.

So, when you’re looking at what’s going on around you and wonder how to escape the negativity and dark feelings. Maybe it’s not your circumstances that need to change—it’s your perspective and mindset.

References:

  1. https://www.marcandangel.com/2013/05/21/4-short-stories-change-the-way-you-think/
  2. https://www.inc.com/nicolas-cole/change-your-perspective-change-your-life.html

Public Speaking—Most Persuasive Things People Do

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“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

Aristotle believed that we speak for one reason: to persuade.  Which can be challenging since most people have never been formally trained to think strategically about communication, despite the fact that “it’s one of the most critical skills in life”.  According to Aristotle’s teaching on persuasion, “the art of eloquence is all about the audience and about learning how people listen to us”.  Thus, it is important to shape the info you have, in the way that is ideal for the intended audience.

To be a great public speaker, you must first define two things:

  • Your audience: Who are they? How do they view the world or the situation? What do they already know about you and your topic? What will they benefit from listening to you talk?
  • Your purpose: Why are you speaking to them? What do you want them to know? Why is it important? What are you trying to get them to do?

The Greek philosopher believed the most persuasive people do:

1. They think about their audience, not about themselves

Aristotle’s advice is to focus instead on the people you’re addressing.  Begin by asking yourself: Who will be listening? How many of them will there be? How old are they? What race and gender? What do they know about you and your topic? Why are they gathering to listen to you? How can you help them?

Before you begin writing, think about the purpose of your talk. It can be beneficial to distill your message to a single line. An effective method is to use this simple, 15-word sentence: “As a result of my [talk], they will understand [this], and respond by [doing that].”

By aiming your remarks at the audience members, and by sticking to your purpose, you will eliminate a tremendous degree of anxiety and uncertainty.

2. They make their audience happy

In your mind, the subject of your talk is quarterly sales, company policy or your amazing new invention. Your audience, however, is focused on an entirely different topic — their happiness.

Aristotle listed a number of things that make people happy: Health, family, wealth, status and so on. Your success as a speaker, regardless of subject, depends on demonstrating to your audience that you’re not just prattling away; you’re talking to them, for their benefit.

Let’s say you’re pitching a financial product. You know that it’s awesome. The numbers prove it. But what’s going to make your audience happier? A lengthy diatribe about numbers, or an explanation of how these numbers will make their life better?

The point, as always, is that every element of your presentation should demonstrate your awareness of what they care about.

3. They speak in their audience’s language

Whether you share much or little, your audience’s decision to accept your words and ideas depends upon how credible they find you to be. “When speakers behave inappropriately,” wrote Aristotle, “their credibility is questioned — even when they speak the truth.”

It’s intuitive that awkward body language or inappropriate clothing will distract people from your message, but instead of worrying about what not to do, train your attention toward the myriad of ways you can frame your presentation in the cognitive universe of your audience.

Every aspect of your presentation, including timing, humor, word-choices, metaphors and statistics, must mean the same thing to them as they mean to you.

Being a great public speaker

I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in an Age of Disconnection by [John Bowe]

“Being a great public speaker has nothing to do with your personality, with overcoming shyness or learning to act confident,” said John Bowe, speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of “I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in an Age of Disconnection.”. It’s a technical skill that nearly anyone can acquire, just like cooking.

Tips for preparing your speech

1. Memorize your introduction and conclusion. Brain freeze occurs most commonly during those awful seconds when you first face a crowd.

2. It’s not about you. Every decision you make must demonstrate that you’re talking for your audience’s benefit, not yours.

3. Do everything you can to help them hear and understand you. People are bad at listening. Use short words, sentences and paragraphs to express your ideas; physical, concrete and vivid images that appeal to the senses; and active verb choices in place of abstract or passive language.

4. Don’t drown your audience in data. If your talk relies on heavy data, be sure to explain what that data means — on a human level. People want to know how you think, feel, and believe. That’s why you’re in the same room with them, instead of sending the data by email.

Do everything you can to help them hear and understand you. People are bad at listening.

5. Eliminate anything that doesn’t clearly support your purpose. If a slide, statistic, joke, or anecdote doesn’t serve your goal, cut it.

6. Record yourself or practice in front of real people — or both, if you can. This will be painful. But it’s better to hate yourself before your speech, rather than during (and probably for a long time after) your speech.

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/08/13/to-be-great-at-public-speaking-distill-message-15-words-speech-trainer-says.html
  2. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/01/12/aristotles-3-most-important-rules-for-being-more-persuasive-in-public-speaking.html?__twitter_impression=true

COVID-19 Self-Care Coach

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During times of stress, it’s especially important to set time aside for self-care.

The world is facing an unprecedented medical crisis. During these stressful times, you may become so overwhelmed with work, daily life or caring for your family that you forget to take care of yourself. Remember, you must take care of yourself first so you can continue to care for others. Thus, it’s important to get into a good self-care routine to prevent stress and to enhance your emotional well-being and mental health.

There are many stressors in life such as not knowing what might happen next to your family members, friends or your community during the COVID-19 pandemic. “Those are the key ingredients to creating PTSD: having stressors where it’s uncertain, uncontrolled, and unpredictable,” says Karestan Koenen, a psychologist at Harvard University’s T. H. Chan School of Public Health

Body, mind and spirit

Your mind and body are connected. You deserve care that supports your total health — mind, body, and spirit. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, or other mental or emotional issues that interfere with your daily life, there is help.

The National Center for PTSD created an app called Covid Coach, a tool designed to help people manage stress, reduce anxiety, for meditation and improved sleep. And, it provides information about coping strategies. It offers breathing exercises and other guidance for tackling loneliness and irritability. It lets users track their anxiety and moods. It’s loaded with resources for getting help with problems like substance abuse or domestic violence. It’s available for free in the Apple and Android app stores.

Set a Personal Goal

One effective tool of the COVID Coach relates to setting a personal goal. Setting a personal goal can be helpful to ensure you’re making time for yourself. For example, you might set a goal to connect with a friend this week by phone or video, make yourself a favorite meal, or do whatever it is that you enjoy that you can do for yourself.

Stay home during the holiday season

As COVID-19 cases continue to rise, many public health officials stress why not traveling and not gathering with family and friends is the safest choice for the holidays.

Throughout this challenging time, your health and safety should remain your top priority. Protect yourself and your loved ones with the help of this COVID Coach.

It’s hard to know where you’re going if you don’t know where you are.

References:

  1. https://www.wired.com/story/this-mental-health-app-is-tailor-made-for-your-pandemic-woes/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=onsite-share&utm_brand=wired&utm_social-type=earned
  2. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/52eb2689e4b09fc88a61dbda/t/5fd8fa0c3843d52beda31b68/1608055314773/30DaysofSelfCarewithCOVIDCoach.pdf

CDC Recommends Avoiding Traveling over Thanksgiving

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The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention “strongly” recommends that Americans avoid traveling to see family members and friends over Thanksgiving. With the spread of the disease exploding in the U.S. and with several dozen states shattering records for daily new confirmed cases in the past week alone, the virus appears to be exponentially spreading across the country with records for new cases per capita being set in midwestern states.

“As we’re seeing exponential growth in cases, and the opportunity to translocate disease, or infection from one part of the country to another leads to our recommendation to, to avoid travel at this time,” said Dr. Henry Walke, CDC’s Covid-19 incident manager commented.

As of Wednesday, 11/18/2029, more than 250,000 Americans have died from COVID-19, according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University. And, roughly 1 million new COVID-19 cases have been recorded in the U.S. in the past week.

Risk comes not just from the mode of travel, but from transportation hubs that can make physical distancing more difficult.

Holidays typically attract large gatherings, which tend to be associated with higher COVID-19 transmission levels. As a result, you want fewer people gathering than usual, and it’s even better if they’re people already in your “bubble.”

Risk factors to consider before attending a gathering include community spread of COVID-19, both where the gathering is held and attendees are coming from; exposure during travel; the location and duration of the gathering; the number of attendees and capacity for physical distancing; and attendees’ preventive behaviors before and during the gathering, according to broader CDC advice on how to navigate holiday celebrations and gatherings.

The risk level also depends on attendees’ social contacts and exposures over the preceding couple of weeks, M. Kit Delgado, an assistant professor of emergency medicine and epidemiology at the University of Pennsylvania explained. Sitting out this year’s big family gathering can help keep everyone safe — especially vulnerable family members — and avoid overburdening hospitals during flu season.

“Unfortunately, the merriment we crave — eating, drinking and singing together in a cozy room — are among the highest-risk scenarios for transmitting COVID-19,” Delgado said.

The dire COVID-19 infection numbers already had people reconsidering their Thanksgiving plans. AAA estimated that fewer Americans will travel for the holiday than last year — though this year’s number still hovers around 50 million people.

References:

  1. https://on.mktw.net/3pGIPEF
  2. https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/11/19/936715870/dont-travel-for-thanksgiving-cdc-warns