Category Archives: Gratitude

Mindfulness: Being Mindful

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Research suggests mindfulness influences how you interpret the world.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela

To live mindfully is to live in the moment and reawaken oneself to the present, rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future. To be mindful is to observe and label thoughts, feelings, sensations in the body in an objective manner.

Mindfulness can help you achieve greater understanding, which in and of itself will bring you peace. It will also help you develop greater inner strength. This will enable you to make better choices in your lives, which will lead to a healthier and more fulfilling life. Being Mindful can mean meditating or simply stopping to smell the roses.

Mindfulness encompasses two key ingredients: awareness and acceptance.

  • Awareness is the knowledge and ability to focus attention on one’s inner processes and experiences, such as the experience of the present moment.
  • Acceptance is the ability to observe and accept—rather than judge or avoid—those streams of thought.

Studies show mindfulness slashes stress, relieves pain, and improves your mood. And scientists are beginning to understand how. One study found that 8 weeks of regular meditation and being mindful can change parts of your brain related to emotions, learning, and memory. Even washing dishes can be good for your brain, as long as you do it mindfully.

As you develop mindfulness through your practice, your emotions will naturally change. The reason is that you begin to identify less with your ego, and you begin to see more clearly your connection with the rest of the world. And when you truly see this interconnection, your loneliness will disappear.

Through mindfulness, your anger and frustration will also subside. As you meditate, your mind will naturally calm down. This will reduce the mental agitation that triggers your unhealthy emotions. They will be replaced with more wholesome emotions, such as love, compassion, and joy.

“Meditation is not evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

The more you practice mindfulness meditation, the deeper your understanding of your emotions will be. When you are truly mindful, you are aware of when your emotions arise, what your sources are, and have the inner strength to resist the temptation to fuel the negative emotions, and be able to cultivate the positive ones. This will lead to greater equanimity.

Mindfulness of Your Mind

As you get older, your mental abilities begin to decline. Your memory, concentration, and reasoning ability slowly diminish. This is an inevitable sad truth about growing old. However, not all of your mental decline is due to age, and there is a lot we can do to slow this decline.

Studies have shown that mindfulness meditation helps preserve and even improve your mental abilities. Mindfulness meditation can improve your memory, concentration, and abstract thinking. Several studies have shown that even small amounts of meditation can have a significant impact. The impact is even greater with years of practice.

In addition to mindfulness, another thing you can do to preserve your mind is to keep it active. However, not all mental activity is equally beneficial. Mental activities that require little use of your mind, such as crossword puzzles, have little effect. What has the most impact is learning a new skill, such as a new language. Learning a new skill forces your brain to create new neural pathways.

Proper nutrition can also have a tremendous impact on your mental abilities. This is more a matter of giving your brain what it needs to function at an optimal level. For example, your brain needs a fair amount of protein and fat to work properly. You also need plenty of fluids. When you’re dehydrated, which many of you are, your memory and concentration are greatly diminished.

Physical activity will also improve your mental abilities. In order for oxygen and nutrients to reach your brain, they have to be transported there through our blood, and physical activity improves the blood flow to the brain. You don’t need to do a lot of exercise to get the health benefits. Sometimes just walking regularly is enough to improve the blood flow.

Mindfulness encompasses awareness and acceptance, which helps you understand and cope with uncomfortable emotions, allowing you to gain control and relief. To cultivate these skills, concentrate on breathing to lengthen and deepen your breaths. Notice your thoughts and feelings, and practice curiosity and self-compassion.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness
  2. https://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/ss/twelve-habits-super-healthy-people
  3. https://mindfulnessmeditationinstitute.org/2020/12/05/find-greater-happiness-in-your-retirement-through-mindfulness/

Life Purpose in Five Minutes

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Adam Leipzig gave a TED talk regarding discovering your Life Purpose in 5 minutes. In his talk, he discusses a five step process to find meaning and purpose in your life.

In a non-scientific survey of Yale University classmates attending a college reunion, Adam Leipzig discovered to his dismay — despite financial, material and career success — that:

  • The majority of attendees, eighty percent (80%), were unhappy with their lives, and
  • A minority of attendees, twenty percent (20%), were happy

He explained that the people who were happy with their lives knew their life purpose.  For this to take 5 minutes, you need to already know the answers to these 5 things or questions:

  1. Who you are
  2. What you do
  3. Who you do it for
  4. What those people want or need to better their lives
  5. How the people you serve change or transform as a result of what you gave or did for them.

The most successful and happy people in almost every field and walk of life  are outward focus and focus on the people they serve first and foremost.

So, when people ask you, “what do you do”, just respond how what you do changes the lives of people. For example: “I help people build wealth, better manage their money, and achieve financial freedom”.  In a way, this can become your personal brand and elevator pitch. And it can be that simplite.

Adam Leipzig is a producer, executive and distributor. and has produced more than 300 stage plays and live events, and one of the founders of the Los Angeles Theatre Center.

Your Life Purpose comes down to what you really want to do to serve others and what you really enjoy doing to serve other, in the end. What you feel the most alive and happy doing while serving others.

References:

  1. https://www.transcendyourlimits.com/find-life-purpose

Two Wolves

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An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

  • One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued,
  • “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Feeding yourself with or focusing on negative thoughts can bring out the worst in yourself.

Conversely, positive thinking fuels the goodness within us. We exude joy, peace, hope, kindness, and love.

Essentially, what you focus your mind and thoughts on grows.

References:

  1. https://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

Thought of the Day

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There are no limitations to the mind conditioned for success and achievement.

“Try as hard as you wish and you cannot be happy unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Work with all the strength at your command and you cannot accumulate more than barely enough to live on unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

The one and only person in all this world through whose efforts you can be supremely happy under all circumstances, and, through whose labor you can accumulate all the material wealth that you can use legitimately, is YOURSELF!” —Napoleon Hill

When you believe in your ability to succeed…you completely transform your life.

Mary McLeod Bethune: The First Lady of the Struggle

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“Believe in yourself, learn, and never stop wanting to build a better world.” ~ Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune.

Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune was an educator, philanthropist, humanitarian, and civil rights activist who founded the National Council of Negro Women and served in several capacities during the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration, including head of the Division of Negro Affairs of the National Youth Administration and advisor on selecting officer candidates for the Women’s Army Corps.

Tireless, talented and committed to service, Dr. Bethune founded Bethune Cookman College and served has its president. While leading the school, Dr. Bethune also held leadership positions in several prominent organizations.

Because of her dedication to improving the conditions of African Americans, she was called “The First Lady of the Struggle.”

A statue of the Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune was unveiled in the National Statuary Hall at the U.S. Capitol, making Bethune the first Black American to have a state statue in the hall’s collection.

“I plunged into the job of creating something from nothing…. Though I hadn’t a penny left, I considered cash money as the smallest part of my resources. I had faith in a living God, faith in myself, and a desire to serve.” ~ Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune

References:

  1. https://www.internetpillar.com/mary-mcleod-bethune-quotes/
  2. https://www.blackenterprise.com/black-educator-mary-mcleod-bethune-honored-with-state-statue-at-u-s-capitol/

The Power of Faith

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“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” ~ Voltaire

What is the Power of Faith?

One example of the “power of faith” is to imagine that you’re a passenger on a Boeing 747 jetliner and trusting that the law of physics applies regarding the lifting force generated by aircraft wings are sufficient to allow an inanimate cylindrical object that has a mass of several thousand kilograms to sustain controlled flight at an altitude of over thirty thousand feet for several hours and several thousand miles.

Faith is believing and trusting that aeronautical engineers properly designed the passenger jetliner, that manufactures, such as Boeing or Airbus, correctly assembled the technological complex flying machine, and that government agencies, like the FAA, reliably certified the jetliner as safe you’re currently flying on as a passenger.

Finally, faith is accepting that the pilots at the controls are adequately trained and experienced to fly the multi-engine passenger jet, that the maintenance technicians were competent and skilled in their duties to maintain the aircraft systems and prevent catastrophic failure while the aircraft is in flight, and that the operations watch standers are cognizant and alert to ensure no other aircraft will share the same volume of airspace at the same time with the jetliner in which you’re a passenger.

Bottomline, most things we do in life, such as flying the friendly skies, are based solely on conscious or subconscious faith.

Faith is believing, trusting and accepting the unknown or that which you cannot know for certain. In a way, faith is believing and trusting what you cannot be entirely be certain about.

It’s the complete and absolute trust or confidence in someone or something. Educator Dr. Mary McLeod Bethune was quoted as saying, “I plunged into the job of creating something from nothing…. Though I hadn’t a penny left, I considered cash money as the smallest part of my resources. I had faith in a living God, faith in myself, and a desire to serve.”

Believing and having faith in yourself will ensure you achieve your loftiest goals. You can say that faith is the key to living a better and more fulfilling life.

“Faith is the first factor in a life devoted to service. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible.” ~ Mary McLeod Bethune

Gratitude

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“Integrate gratitude into your daily life.”

It’s essential to find gratitude every day.

Gratitude means thanks and appreciation for all things. It’s the state of feeling grateful — a conscious, positive emotion one can express when feeling especially thankful for something, whether intangible or tangible.

Robert Emmons, in a Greater Good essay, “Why Gratitude Is Good”, argues that gratitude has two key components:

  • “First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.”
  • Second, people should “recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves. … We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.”

“Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness and a recognition that this goodness is sourced outside the self.” This doesn’t mean that life is perfect and peaceful, but when you look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages you to identify some amount of goodness and joy in your life.” Dr. Robert Emmons

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition
  2. https://www.brownleeglobal.com/gratitude-research/

Gratitude Research

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Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness and a recognition that this goodness is sourced outside the self.” This doesn’t mean that life is perfect and peaceful, but when you look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages you to identify some amount of goodness and joy in your life. Dr. Robert Emmons

Research indicates that gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, reduce cardiac inflammation, increase happiness, improve relationships, and decrease depression. 

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, researcher, and author of the book Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, suggests that you “integrate gratitude into your daily life, rather than make it something you need to add to an already busy day”.

He recommends that you simply make it a point to notice opportunities that you can be thankful for and practice gratitude regularly.

Practicing gratitude can also make you better equipped to handle the difficulties of life that inevitably arise. In fact, according to Emmons, it’s an essential part of the process of healing from trauma. Even despair can be mitigated by the experience of appreciation for the good, however slight it might be.

Many survivors of the Holocaust, when asked to tell their stories, remember most strongly the feelings of gratitude for food, shelter, or clothing that was offered to them. This sense of thankfulness for the small blessings helped them maintain their humanity despite experiencing a horrific tragedy.

Additionally, many people with life-threatening illnesses also report decreased distress and increased positive emotions when they practice gratitude.

10 tips to fit gratitude in your life

Here are ten ways to become a more thankful person, according to Dr. Emmons:

  1. Every day, say aloud three good things that happened. It’s also extremely powerful to express gratitude aloud when you’re alone.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down the small things from your day that mattered to you. If you’re having a particularly rough day, you can look back through the pages of accumulated blessings in your life.
  3. Say thanks to your partner. Couples who express gratitude toward one another set up a powerful feedback loop of intimacy and trust, where both partners feel as if their needs are being met.
  4. Cool a hot temper with a quick gratitude inventory. One of the quickest ways to dispel the energy of a stormy mood is to focus your attention on what’s good. So when you’re about to lash out at someone, take a moment to do a quick inventory of five things you’re thankful for in the moment. It will help you relax and avoid saying something you’ll later regret.
  5. Thank yourself. Gratitude doesn’t always need to be focused on what other people have done for you! Make sure you give yourself a thank-you for the healthy habits you’ve cultivated in your own life.
  6. Use technology to send three gratitude messages a week. Harness the power of this technology to send out some good vibes, such as a text or Facebook comment, to tell your friends why you appreciate them.
  7. Savor the good moments. If you notice you’re feeling happy, stop what you’re doing and pay attention for a few minutes. Notice exactly how you feel, including the sensations in your body and the thoughts you’re having. Later, when you’re trying to inspire gratitude, you can remember this moment and experience the benefits all over again.
  8. Check for silver linings. Even the most difficult life challenges come with some benefit—you just have to look to find them. Making a mistake teaches you a lesson. When things feel hard, ask yourself: What’s good here?
  9. Look outward, not inward. Robert Emmons says people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude, and people who have an outward focus tend to experience stronger benefits.
  10. Change your perspective. If you struggle to come up with something to feel grateful for, put yourself in the shoes of someone who is experiencing misfortunes greater than your own. It will inspire gratitude for your own healthy body and circumstances, which you may have taken for granted otherwise.

It is vitally important to your health and overall emotional well being to cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life. Research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

References:

  1. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/making-gratitude-part-everyday-life-tips-dr-robert-emmons
  2. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/10-ways-be-more-thankful-person

Hope is a Way of Thinking…a Super Power

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Hope is a feeling of expectation, a desire or wish for a certain thing to happen.

According to psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles R. Snyder et al. (1991) hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals.

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process.” Brené Brown

In other words, hope is like a snap-shot of a person’s current goal-directed thinking, highlighting the motivated pursuit of goals and the expectation that those goals can be achieved.

Hope helps us remain committed to our goals and motivated to take action towards achieving. Hope gives people a reason to continue fighting and believing that their current circumstances will improve, despite the unpredictable nature of human existence.

As psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles Snyder et al. (2002, p. 269) stated so eloquently:

A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.

While some approaches conceptualize hope in the realm of being, that is acknowledging hope during illness and within palliative care; Snyder et al (1991) emphasized the relevance of hope in the context of doing – that is the capacity to achieve goals.

According to Snyder’s Hope Theory (Snyder, Irving, & Anderson, 1991), hopefulness is a life-sustaining human strength comprised of three distinct but related components:

  1. Goals Thinking – the clear conceptualization of valuable goals.
  2. Pathways Thinking – the capacity to develop specific strategies to reach those goals.
  3. Agency Thinking – the ability to initiate and sustain the motivation for using those strategies.

Hope does not necessarily fade in the face of adversity; in fact hope often endures despite poverty, war and famine. While no one is exempt from experiencing challenging life events, hope fosters an orientation to life that allows a grounded and optimistic outlook even in the most challenging of circumstances.

Practicing optimism has much in common with hope. Both are concerned with a positive future orientation and both assume that good things will generally occur in one’s life.

The difference is that optimism is a positive attitude about a future event that is probable and likely to occur: the optimist expects that life will work out well and as expected (Scheier & Carver, 1993).

On the other hand, being hopeful is regarded as more realistic than optimistism.

The hopeful individual recognizes that life may not always work out as planned, yet maintains positive expectancy directed toward possible outcomes that hold personal significance (Miceli & Castelfranchi, 2002)

Hope is more than just a state of mind; it is an action-oriented strength.

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/hope-therapy/

C.R. Snyder was a fellow of the APA in the divisions of teaching, social and personality, clinical, and health. He worked as the director of the Clinical Psychology Program at the University of Kansas and was  the editor of the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. Snyder passed away in 2006.

The biblical definition of hope is “confident expectation.” Hope means “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen” and it is a cognitive processes or way of thinking.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (NIV)