Category Archives: Gratitude

An Inspirational Story of Kindness

Posted on by

“It’s amazing, how one person’s act of kindness can change the course of your life. Today, follow their lead….Pay it forward.”

“I went to Kroger tonight wearing one of my husband’s sweatshirts. I got in line to check out and the man in front of me asked if the sweatshirt was mine.

I said ‘oh no, it’s my husband’s.’ It caught me pretty off guard, to say the least. He then asked if my husband was with me so he could say thank you and I just said ‘thank you, but unfortunately, he’s deployed right now.’

The man then, without hesitation started putting my groceries up on the belt with his and told me he was paying for my groceries tonight. I was speechless.

The only thing I could get out was, ‘oh my gosh, are you sure, thank you so much’ almost a dozen times. He said, ‘that place over there almost took me away from my wife and my four kids.

Promise you’ll stay true and honest to him while he’s gone and love him like you’ve never loved him before when he gets home.’ I’m still in shock over an hour later.

There’s still so much good in the world and we need to start focusing on that rather than focusing on all the bad.“

Credit: Casey Carpenter

An Attitude of Gratitude

Posted on by

“Be in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. Be thankful for the storms as well as the smooth sailing. What is the lesson or gift in what you are experiencing right now? Find your joy not in what’s missing in your life but in how you can serve.” Wayne Dyer

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It’s a readiness to show appreciation

Gratitude is a foundational element to building wealth. Gratitude allows you to find joy in and focus on what you already have because envy is the stealer of wealth and comparison is the thief of joy.  If you are constantly comparing yourself to others you will never have enough. You will feel empty and inadequate. You will not find happiness.

As media mogul Oprah Winfrey explains, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

“Gratitude turns what you have into enough.” Unknown

“Mother Theresa talked about how grateful she was to the people she was helping, the sick and dying in the slums of Calcutta, because they enabled her to grow and deepen her spirituality,” explains Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., is the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude and professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis.

Like Mother Theresa’s spiritual growth, there are several important reasons that gratitude can have transformative effects on your own life, according to Dr. Emmons. Additionally, there are four effects he sites:

1. Gratitude allows you to appreciate and celebrate the present. It magnifies positive emotions.

Research on emotion shows that positive emotions wear off quickly. Our emotional system likes newness and novelty. It likes change. You adapt to positive life circumstances so that before too long, the new car, the new spouse, the new house—they don’t feel so new and exciting anymore.

But gratitude makes you focus on and appreciate the value of something, and when you appreciate the value of something, you extract more benefits from it; you’re less likely to take it for granted, states Dr. Emmons.

In effect, gratitude allows you to participate more in life. You notice the positives more, and that magnifies the pleasures you get from life. Instead of adapting to goodness, you celebrate goodness. You spend more time watching and doing things with gratitude. Effectively, you become a greater participant in your life as opposed to being a spectator.

2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret—emotions that can destroy our happiness. A 2008 study by psychologist Alex Wood in the Journal of Research in Personality, showed that gratitude can reduce the frequency and duration of episodes of depression.

You cannot feel envious and grateful at the same time. They’re incompatible feelings. If you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for having something that you don’t.

3. Grateful people are more stress resistant. There’s a number of studies showing that in the face of serious trauma, adversity, and suffering, if people have a grateful disposition, they’ll recover more quickly. In short, gratitude gives people a perspective from which they can interpret negative life events and help them guard against post-traumatic stress and lasting anxiety.

4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. When you’re grateful, you have the sense that someone else is looking out for you—someone else has provided for your well-being, or you notice a network of relationships, past and present, of people who are responsible for helping you get to where you are right now.

Once you start to recognize the contributions that other people have made to your life—once you realize that other people have seen the value in you—you can transform the way you see yourself.

Thus, it’s imperative for you to cultivate gratitude and to overcome the challenges to gratitude. You must put conscious and deliberate effort into practicing gratitude.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” Zig Ziglar

First is to keep a gratitude journal as a way to cultivate gratitude, says Dr. Emmons. This can mean listing just five things for which you’re grateful every week. This practice works because it consciously, intentionally focuses your attention on developing more grateful thinking and on eliminating ungrateful thoughts. It helps guard against taking things for granted; instead, you will see gifts in life as new and exciting. People who live a life of pervasive thankfulness really do experience life differently than people who cheat themselves out of life by not feeling grateful.

Another gratitude exercise is to practice counting your blessings on a regular basis, maybe first thing in the morning, maybe in the evening. What are you grateful for today? You don’t have to write them down on paper.

Additionally, you can use concrete reminders to practice gratitude, says Dr. Emmons. For example, a Vancouver family developed a practice of putting money in “gratitude jars.” At the end of the day, they put spare change into those gratitude jars. They had a regular reminder, a habit, to get them to focus on gratitude. When the jar became full, they gave away the money to a good cause within their community.

Gratitude journals and other gratitude practices seem simple and basic, but studies have shown that people who keep gratitude journals for just three weeks realize results that have been overwhelmingly beneficial in their lives, according to Dr. Emmons.

The bottomline is that having an ‘attitude of gratitude’ is the key ingredient to living your best and most rewarding life. It’s a practice and habit that we must all embrace.

“The ultimate path to enlightment is the cultivation of gratitude. When you’re grateful, fear disappears. When you’re grateful lack disapears. You feel a sense that life is uniquely blessed, but at the same time, you feel like you’re a part of everything that exists and you know that you are not the source of it.” Tony Robbins

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good
  2. https://thestrive.co/gratitude-quotes/
  3. https://blog.gratefulness.me/gratitude-quotes/

Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., is the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude. He is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and the founding editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology. He is the author of the books Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity and Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.

Purpose

Posted on by

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” Steve Jobs

Purpose is an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is both personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world, according to The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. The goals that foster a sense of purpose are ones that can potentially change and improve the lives of other people. “If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily”, says author Jack Canfield

Purpose is not a destination, but a life’s journey, a mindset and a practice. It’s accessible at any age and at any income level, if we’re “willing to explore what matters to us and what kind of person we want to be—and act to become that person”. Filmmaker and author Drew Scott Pearlman writes: “Your purpose must be particular to you. This is the road less traveled. Your purpose cannot be someone else’s path, not your family’s path nor your friends’ path.”

Individuals with a sense of purpose report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction—which seems associated with better health, wealth and emotional well-being outcomes. For many people, it was good and beneficial to have a purpose or a goal, no matter what it was.

Additionally, the physical health benefits of a sense of purpose are well-documented. For example, a Harvard’s School of Public Health study found that people who report higher levels of purpose at one point in time have objectively better physical agility four years later than those who report less purpose.

Moreover, researchers suggest that people take better care of themselves when they feel like they have something to live for. Having a purpose also seems to be associated with lower stress levels, which contributes to better health and emotional well-being. And, according to Helen Keller, “True happiness… is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”

Additionally, people with a more “prosocial” purpose—one aimed at helping others—experienced greater personal growth, integrity, and health later in adulthood. This result was echoed by a 2019 study by Anne Colby and colleagues at Stanford University. They surveyed almost 1,200 Americans in their midlife about their well-being and what goals were important to them. The researchers found significantly better physical health and higher emotional well-being among people who were involved in pursuing beyond-the-self goals, compared to those who were pursuing other types of goals. In other words, engaging in prosocial goals had more positive impact on physical health and emotional well-being than engaging in non-prosocial goals.

A sense of purpose appears to suggest that humans “can cooperate and accomplish big things together”. Research suggests that team leaders can effectively boost the productivity, work experience and well-being of their team members by helping them connect to a task-related higher purpose. The 2013 Core Beliefs and Culture Survey revealed that 91 percent of respondents who believe that their company has a strong sense of purpose also say it has a history of strong financial performance.

“Everything in your life informs you what your purpose is. How do you know it’s your purpose? It feels like it’s the right space for you. It feels like ‘This is what I should be doing; this is where I feel most myself.” Oprah Winfrey

Purpose also helps both individuals and the species to survive and thrive. Purpose often grows from our connection to others, which is why a crisis of purpose is often a symptom of isolation. Once you find your path, you’ll almost certainly find others traveling along with you, hoping to reach the same destination—a community.

youtu.be/_7wnkUP-Q4E

According to research by Kendall Cotton Bronk, a professor of psychology in the Division of Behavioral & Social Sciences at Claremont Graduate University, finding one’s purpose requires four key components:

  1. Dedicated commitment,
  2. Personal meaningfulness,
  3. Goal directedness, and
  4. A vision larger than one’s self.

Often, finding our purpose involves a combination of finding meaning in the experiences we’ve had, while assessing our values, skills, and hopes for a better world. It means taking time for personal reflection while imagining our ideal future. “Everything in your life informs you what your purpose is. How do you know it’s your purpose? It feels like it’s the right space for you. It feels like ‘This is what I should be doing; this is where I feel most myself’,” says Oprah Winfrey

A sense of purpose as we navigate milestones and transitions means that we can look forward to more satisfying, meaningful and abundant lives.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Nietzsche

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/purpose/definition
  2. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/purpose/definition#why-find-purpose
  3. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/purpose/definition#how-to-cultivate-purpose
  4. https://www.thegrowthreactor.com/quotes-about-purpose-in-life/

National Volunteer Week

Posted on by

“There’s a saying, “Life and love aren’t about what you gain; they’re about what you give.” What a great way to sum up the purpose of volunteer work.” Canada Protection Plan

America is a country built on service. From our earliest days, Americans have stepped forward to help neighbors and tackle our toughest challenges.
This second week in April is National Volunteer Week. All Americans are encourage to pick their favorite foundation, museum or charity and spend a few hours or days giving back to the communities that have given us so much.

National Volunteer Week is an annual celebration observed in many countries, to promote and show appreciation for volunteerism and volunteering. In the United States, it is organized by the Points of Light foundation, and in Canada by Volunteering Canada. It is held in those two countries in mid to late April.

Last year’s Presidential National Volunteer Week Proclamation read:

“We are living in a moment that calls for hope and light and love. Hope for our futures, light to see our way forward, and love for one another. Volunteers provide all three.”

“Service—the act of looking out for one another—is part of who we are as a Nation. Our commitment to service reflects our understanding that we can best meet our challenges when we join together.”

“This week, we recognize the enduring contributions of our Nation’s volunteers and encourage more Americans to join their ranks.”

During National Volunteer Week, it’s important to show up for your communities, make service a goal, and make a difference.

“Give the gift of time and commit to serve.”

References:

  1. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/volunteer-week.html
  2. https://www.americorps.gov/blogs/2022-04-12/celebrate-nations-volunteers-all-week

True Gratitude

Posted on by

“The more you are in a state of gratitude, the more you will attract things to be grateful for.” – Unknown

We, as Americans, have a lot to be grateful for. Especially, the many simple and common things that we take for granted daily in life.

Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, explains that gratitude has two key components:

  • First, “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.”
  • The second part of gratitude is that, “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves. … We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.”

Essentially, the social and emotional dimensions are especially important to gratitude.

Gratitude, “true gratitude”, encourages us to appreciate tangible and intangible gifts we receive from others and to pay them forward. Effectively, gratitude strengthens the bonds between individuals who mutually help or show appreciation for each other. Additionally, gratitude enhances emotional well-being.

True gratitude is more than an action which we decide to do by an act of will power. It is a feeling that arises in the heart, not an act of will power. And it is a good feeling. When it rises in our hearts, we like it. It is part of happiness, not misery. True gratitude is a form of delight.

But true gratitude is more than delighting in a gift. It is more than feeling happy that you got something you wanted. It is a feeling of happiness directed toward a person for giving you something good. It is a happiness that comes not merely from the gift, but from the act of giving. True gratitude is a happy feeling you have about a giver because of his giving something good to you or doing something good for you.
Showing true gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things we, as humans, can do for each other, states Emmons. Studies show that people who practice true gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:

Physical

  • Stronger immune systems
  • Less bothered by aches and pains
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Exercise more and take better care of their health
  • Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking

Psychological

  • Higher levels of positive emotions
  • More alert, alive, and awake
  • More joy and pleasure
  • More optimism and happiness

Social

  • More helpful, generous, and compassionate
  • More forgiving
  • More outgoing
  • Feel less lonely and isolated.

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, true gratitude is all about social and emotional well-being.

In short, true gratitude is good for our bodies, our minds, and our relationships.

True gratitude is one of the best safeguards against excessive material attachment and also opens us up to real generosity. It implicitly acknowledges that all the good things in our lives are properly seen as gifts. We may have worked hard and lived prudently to attain our comforts and securities, but even if we have, we are always indebted to others for the opportunity to work hard and build good lives for ourselves and families.

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition
  2. https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/grace-gratitude-and-the-glory-of-god
  3. https://www.ncregister.com/commentaries/in-gratitude-for-god-s-grace-and-mercy
  4. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good

The Power of Visualization

Posted on by

“Successful people, such as professional athletes and other top performers, have used visualization techniques to visualize their desired outcomes for ages.”

Visualization is one of the most powerful tools you can use to accomplish any goal you set for yourself. Visualization can be applied to help you improve your performance and be successful in all aspects of your life.

Visualization works because when you visualize, your mind and body don’t really know the difference between what you visualize and reality. When you visualize your goal, you create the thoughts, focus and energy that will help to pull that goal towards you.

The Power of Visualization.When you visualize, your body and mind react as if they were true. Many people believe that when you believe something to be true, you attract it to you – you make it true.

However, believing something to be true doesn’t necessarily make it happen. For many people taking action is challenging due to lack of confidence or a lack of belief in their goal. Visualization, because it taps directly into these emotions, can strengthen your belief in yourself, in your abilities and in your goals.

Additionally, visualization helps paint the scene so you can better plan and prepare for success. When you visualize your success as reality you can also visualize your path to get there.

Before taking the stage to speak to a large audience, Matt Mayberry, Maximum Performance Strategist and a former NFL linebacker, always picture himself giving the “perfect” speech. He would begin weeks in advance by picturing the audience and the positive reaction from the crowd. 

Top performers, among many others, have mastered the technique of positive visualization and openly credit it as a success tactic. Practice makes improvement. Practicing visualization isn’t just a fun exercise – the better you become at visualization the faster you will achieve the success you desire.

When you think of a big goal or dream that you want to achieve, it’s natural to think of all of the obstacles that will come your way. 

All top performers, regardless of profession, know well the importance of and consistently practice of picturing themselves succeeding in their minds before they actually do in reality. It is extremely effective when harnessed and used correctly.

“The key to effective visualization is to create the most detailed, clear, and vivid a picture to focus on.”

Research shows that the more you focus on the things you desire, the better chance you have at getting them. For example, struggling comedian and actor, Jim Carrey used to picture himself being the greatest actor in the world. When Carey was still a “wannabe” during one of his appearances on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, he spoke about his early days trying to make it in the entertainment business. He was broke and had no future. But he took a blank check and wrote out $10 million dollars to himself for acting services rendered and dated it five year in the future.

Subsequently, he carried that check in his wallet at all times and looked at it every morning, visualizing receiving $10 million. Five years after he wrote the check to himself, he found out that he was going to earn $10 million from the movie “Dumb and Dumber.”

Consider two other examples:

  • Boxing champion and legend Muhammad Ali was always stressing the importance of seeing himself victorious long before the actual fight. 
  • Michael Jordan always took the last shot in his mind before he ever took one in real life.

As the examples demonstrate, you to can visualize and create an image of what you most desire. You create a detailed mental scene of what it looks like as you achieve your goal. Visualize it happening now, and the scene that is playing out.

There is a big difference in imaging your goals and making them feel so real your mind believes it has already happened. The more you surround yourself with imagery or words related to your goal, the more real it will become to you.

To make any habit stick, you need to continue to do that habit. The same goes for visualization, the more you practice the quicker you will be in the frame of mind that helps pave the way to success.

Visualization is extremely powerful in helping you achieve success and realize your goals. However, you will still need to put in the hard work and dedication. Don’t forget to repeat, repeat, repeat!

  • Picture yourself victorious – If you can’t see it, then it’s not going to happen. In order to achieve your biggest goals and dreams, you have to picture yourself victorious. You have to look beyond your current circumstances and past failures. While visualizing, it’s necessary to visualize as many details as you can. Re-create any feelings that are in alignment with your dreams. Make it part of your daily routine. You will be amazed at the improvement in your life and astounded when your dream is realized.
  • Create a vision board. – A vision board gives you the opportunity to actually see your goals. This vision board can be a poster board, a piece of paper, the back of a cardboard box, or anything. On the vision board, put pictures that illustrate what you desire in your life. On your vision board, you can also post quotes that embodied what you want and read them every single day.
  • Utilize the power of a trigger card – Your biggest goal and dream can be placed on a note card to serve as your trigger card. From your 3×5 index cards, read daily the goal you desire most. Get in the habit of doing this every day. Each morning and each night, read those index cards, close your eyes, and imagine yourself accomplishing and following through on that major goal of yours.

Get in the habit of putting together a positive vision into your everyday life. Visualize yourself succeeding, achieving every goal, accomplishing every task. The key is to make your positive vision stronger than anything that can set you back. The more vivid you can get, the better it will work for you. Start thinking of your personal goals in life. Spend about 10 to 15 minutes picturing yourself achieving each one.

Get as detailed as possible. Picture what you will do once your goal is reached. How amazing does it feel? How will this change the course of your life? Remember, the little details increase the likelihood of the big picture.

It’s important to understand that visualization alone isn’t enough. But, it is an integral part of the process of you becoming the best version of yourself. That’s the power of visualizing your dreams. That’s the power of dreaming. That’s the power of relentlessly believing and working toward your vision every single day.

If you can’t visualize yourself being extremely successful, dominating your profession, and running a phenomenal business, then chances are you never will.

References:

  1. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/242373
  2. https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/How_Visualization_Creates_Wealth_and_Success.html
  3. https://www.mbswithcalie.com/visualization-for-success/
  4. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/283241
  5. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/242373

Gratitude Rewires Your Brain

Posted on by

Gratitude is good for your mind and body. A healthy mind = a healthy body.

Research shows that gratitude and kindness not only lifts your spirits and warms your hearts, but, it can also aid in fighting off, healing and sometimes even curing illnesses.

Acts of kindness and feelings of gratitude flood your brains with a chemical called dopamine.

When you are truly grateful for something (or someone) your brains reward you by giving you a natural high. Because this feeling (or natural high) is so good, you are motivated to feel it again and become more inclined to give thanks, to show appreciation and to do good for others.

Research on gratitude benefits shows that these neurological effects open the doors to many health and emotional well-being benefits.

Additionally, in the hypothalamus, which is the part of your brain that regulates a number of your bodily functions including your appetites, sleep, temperature, metabolism and growth, a 2009 National Institutes of Health (NIH) study showed that your hypothalamus is activated when you feel gratitude, or display acts of kindness.

This research on gratitude means that your existential bodily functions operate better with grace. That is a powerful thought.

References:

  1. https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/benefits-of-gratitude-research/

Systems are Best for Long Term Success

Posted on by

“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.” James Clear

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, spoke at a conference I attended about ‘goals and system’. During his insightful talk, he explained that “Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. ”

Furthermore, he said that, “I began to realize that my results had very little to do with the goals I set and nearly everything to do with the systems I followed.” To explain, he writes that “If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal might be to build a million-dollar business. Your system is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns.”

Moreover, goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress and reaching your destination.

Goals can become too limiting, says Scott Adams, the nationally syndicated cartoonist of Dilbert. Systems, in contrast, habits are things that people regularly do and that increase the odds that an event ends up creating an experience that leads to an eventual success, even though that success might not be immediately apparent.

A system, says Adams, contributes to a positive attitude that widens a person’s field of perception, which he contends is what makes some people luckier than others in that they can see more opportunities.

Build a system for getting 1% better every day.

In Clear’s opinion, “a handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”

https://twitter.com/atomichabitss/status/1498825041835823105

According to Clear, several problems arise when you focus on goals and ignore the system, such as:

Problem #1: Winners and losers have the same goals.

Successful and unsuccessful people often share the same goals, thus the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers. It wasn’t the goal of winning the Tour de France that propelled the British Cyclists to the top of the sport, states Clear. Presumably, they had wanted to win the race every year before—just like every other professional team. The goal had always been there. It was only when they implemented a system of continuous small improvements that they achieved a different outcome.

Problem #2: Achieving a goal is only a momentary change.

To truly have meaningful and long-lasting change, you must change your habits that led to the problem or challenge in the first place. Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. That’s the counterintuitive thing about improvement. You think you need to change your results, but the results are not the problem. What you really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

Problem #3: Goals restrict your happiness.

The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. Happiness should not be just something for your future self to enjoy.

Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success.

A systems-first mentality provides the antidote. When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.

Problem #4: Goals are at odds with long-term progress.

Finally, a goal-oriented mind-set can create a “yo-yo” effect. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.

Fall in love with systems

James Clear surmises that “goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.”

The next time you think about a goal, something you deeply desire to achieve, think of the system that you will follow — and how often — in order to reach it.

References:

  1. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
  2. https://www.cioinsight.com/careers/dilbert-creator-focus-on-systems-not-goals/
  3. https://jamesclear.com/good-habits
  4. https://medium.com/swlh/thinking-in-systems-not-goals-2b9a4105d0d3

James Clear is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits.

“The most useful form of patience is persistence. Patience implies waiting for things to improve on their own. Persistence implies keeping your head down and continuing to work when things take longer than you expect.” ~James Clear

Attitude of Gratitude

Posted on by

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” – Socrates

Gratitude is good for your body, your mind, your wealth, and your emotional well-being. Yet, Americans usually equate happiness to having more in life. And by more, think of monetary or physical possessions — a bigger house, larger bank account, more clothes, the latest gadgets, a faster car. Yet, once you acquire more shiny brand new things, rarely do you find yourself any happier and satisfied.

Instead of acquiring more stuff, the Greek philosopher Socrates taught his fellow Greek citizens to be happy with less. In other words, enjoy that pair of jeans you love so much that you wear it all the time, instead of worrying about the latest fad designer jeans at the boutique that costs two weeks pay.

Simply put, gratitude changes your focus to what you have. Since, it doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t appreciate it! Without gratitude, you’ll never feel successful, no matter how much you have and own. So regardless of your level of wealth and financial success, practicing gratitude is essential. You get more of what you focus on…what you focus on expands!

According to the Harvard Medical School, gratitude is: “a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives … As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power” 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” Confucius

Every day won’t be perfect, but focusing on what we are grateful for tends to wash away feelings of anger, sorrow and negativity. And there is added benefits to improving your mindset, attitude and outcome. Recent studies show that being grateful and expressing gratitude leads to better physical and emotional health.

“An attitude of gratitude means making it a habit to express thankfulness and appreciation in all parts of your life, on a regular basis, for both the big and small things alike,” according to Lewis Howe, author of the inspirational book, The School of Greatness. “If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.”

Thus, you must look throughout your day for things and activities to be grateful for, and something to be grateful for will always show up. Just because gratitude is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

Do not lose sight of being grateful for simply having a challenge or mountain to climb (it beats the alternative). Only when you began feeling gratitude for the opportunity to serve, to learn and to grow will a shift in attitude and happiness happen.

You can view gratitude as an emotional muscle that will grow and strengthen with intentional use. Make gratitude a habit by starting a gratitude journal, incorporating gratitude into your morning routine practice, or perhaps by having a gratitude accountability partner whom you can email daily.

“Everything — peace of mind, happiness, getting the most out of what you have — springs off of the word ‘gratitude’…True gratitude is based on all things — success and failure. If I’m truly grateful, I’m going to maintain that regardless of the outcome. Otherwise, it’s not gratitude.” Cael Sanderson, Head Wrestling Coach, Pennsylvania State University

Gratitude can be made a habit that you can practice every morning. According to motivational speaker Tony Robbins, gratitude is a ritual that can be broken down into three, three-minute sections, which can provide structure for living a life of gratitude. The three sections are:

  • First three minutes, think of three things you’re grateful for. Tony suggests that one of these be very simple—like how beautiful the sunset was last night or the great night’s sleep you just got.
  • During the next three minutes, focus on creating gratitude by imagining an inner presence that can heal and solve any obstacles in your life.
  • For the last three minutes, identify three things you’re absolutely going to make happen for yourself—what he calls his “three to thrive.”

Imagine what it would feel like to complete these tasks, and “see it as though it’s already been done,” Robbins said.

Enjoying less and appreciating the things you own are not difficult. All it takes is a change of mindset and an attitude of gratitude. Since, gratitude makes dealing with the difficult things and experiences easier. So be grateful when things are challenging, when you don’t feel like it, or when you fall short of achieving your goal.

To become more grateful, there are several everyday tips for living a life of gratitude, according to Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading scientific expert on gratitude:

  • Keep a Gratitude Journal. Establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things you enjoy. Setting aside time on a daily basis to recall moments of gratitude associated with ordinary events, your personal attributes, or valued people in your life gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life theme of gratefulness.
  • Remember the Bad. To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember the hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.
  • Ask Yourself Three Questions. Utilize the meditation technique known as Naikan, which involves reflecting on three questions: “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”
  • Learn Prayers of Gratitude. In many spiritual traditions, prayers of gratitude are considered to be the most powerful form of prayer, because through these prayers people recognize the ultimate source of all they are and all they will ever be.
  • Use Visual Reminders. Because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. Often times, the best visual reminders are other people.
  • Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude. Research shows that making an oath to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own gratitude vow, which could be as simple as “I vow to count my blessings each day,” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
  • Watch your Language. Grateful people have a particular linguistic style that uses the language of gifts, givers, blessings, blessed, fortune, fortunate, and abundance. In gratitude, you should not focus on how inherently good you are, but rather on the inherently good things that others have done on your behalf.

It’s vitally essential to live your life and build your wealth based in gratitude. With gratitude comes the realization that we get more than we deserve and we’re content with what we have, received and accomplished.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Research has shown that there is a strong link between happiness and gratitude. And there is a lot in your life to be grateful for! Do you want to be happy and wealthy? Stop waiting for happiness to knock on your door. Go out and make a friend or two. Stop thinking others have it better than you do.

Stop looking at what others have and start being grateful for what you have. You probably have a roof over your head and food in your stomach every day. The average world wide salary in 2012 was $18,000, adjusted for purchasing power. If you’re pulling in $19,000 you’re above average and, therefore, in terms of the entire world, rich. Celebrate your new found rich status, by inviting a couple of friends over. It will make you happier.

You must be grateful and love your life whether you’re winning or losing; whether you’re successful or unsuccessful; and whether you’ve built wealth or failed to build wealth. Just be grateful for the opportunity and your life. 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melodie Beattie, Author of ‘Co-dependant No More’

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/
  2. https://celador.net/the-secret-of-happiness-e611f6471b8f
  3. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-have-an-attitude-of-gratitude_b_8644102
  4. https://partners4prosperity.com/thank-and-grow-rich-gratitude-and-wealth/
  5. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good/
  6. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/robert_emmons
  7. https://onwardstate.com/2020/05/08/4-lessons-i-learned-from-cael-sanderson-after-covering-him-for-4-years/

Posted on by

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melodie Beattie, Author of ‘Co-dependant No More’