Mindset: Creating Your Own Opportunities

“You either walk inside your own story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D

Dr. Brené Brown’s research has shown that you are the only person responsible for your life story and its outcomes. Not your mother; not your spouse; and, definitely not your “bestie” are responsible. You , and you alone, must take responsibility and assume accountability for your thoughts, your habits and your behavior that have resulted in the outcome of your current life.

If you want things to happen in your life for the better and want to improve the trajectory of your life, then you need to do something about it. If you just sit about waiting for opportunities to come to you or waiting for the government to come to the rescue, it is likely that they will never happen.

You, and only you, need to make your own opportunities in life if you want to become a success. Set goals and take action to steer your life in the direction you want it to go, and take advantage every chance and opportunity that comes your way.

Yes, it takes courage and accepting that occasionally you will fail and ‘get your ass kicked’ in the process of creating your own opportunities.

Dr. Brown’s research on the power of vulnerability has shown that without the willingness to rumble with one’s vulnerability, you are unlikely to achieve the success and life you desire without a willingness to accept failing and accept ‘getting your ass kicked’ on occasion. Vulnerability is the emotion you experience during times of risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure.


References:

  1. https://moneyinc.com/brene-brown-quotes/

Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D, is a professor, researcher and lecturer on the subject of vulnerability, best selling author of ‘Daring Greatly‘, and podcast host. She is based at the University of Houston’s Graduate College of Social Work.

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”
– Earl Nightingale

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon featuring bestselling author Dr. Brené Brown.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon featured Professor and New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown.  Dr. Brown shared strategies for handling sudden “effing first times” during the coronavirus pandemic.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of ImperfectionDaring GreatlyRising StrongBraving the Wilderness, and Dare to Lead.

She believes that you have to walk through vulnerability to get to courage, therefore . . . embrace the suck. She tries to be grateful every day and her current motto is “Courage over comfort.”

The Vestiges of Spending and Debt

“Debt means enslavement to the past, no matter how much you want to plan well for the future and live according to your own standards today. Unless you’re free from the bondage of paying for your past, you can’t responsibly live in the present and plan for the future.” Tsh Oxenreider, Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living

Debt is often described as a four-letter word, burying borrowers with substantial balances and double-digit interest fees. And for many Americans, that’s the case.

Living with and accumulating debt has always been an almost certain path to financial ruin and can be a recipe for disaster. Debt can be sneaky. It is difficult to get ahead financially when you don’t have enough money to pay for something and reaching for a credit card to fund. It is no way to live in the short or long term.

Debt eats away at disposable income and limits the borrower’s ability to meet other financial goals, such as saving and investing for retirement. It also forces those who carry a monthly credit card balance to overpay for consumer goods — including furniture, clothes, and flat-screen TVs — due to the interest charges that accrue.

But debt isn’t just credit cards. It comes packaged as student loans, car payments, store credit cards, home mortgages, personal loans, business loans, payday loans, and even “buy now, pay later” deals. Essentially, anytime you owe somebody else money for anything—it’s debt.

It’s important to give debt the boot for good. First, stop taking on any kind of new debt. That means stop paying for goods and services with a credit card to make ends meet, stop leveraging your future to pay present. Stop living beyond your means.

You can’t get out of debt if you keep adding additional purchases and expenses to it. Instead, start focusing on paying off your debts with the smallest to largest balances.

Stop living with debt.

Anytime you owe somebody else money for anything—it’s debt.

Paying off debt continues to be one of the most pressing financial goal for Americans. A 2018 Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies found that nearly a third (31%) of survey participants stated that eliminating bad debt was their number one financial goal.

Paying off bad debt, and debt in general, is extremely important for consumers. It can be difficult to save for retirement and other long-term goals when a big chunk of your money is going toward debt repayment. That’s why it’s important to have a financial plan that details how to get out of debt—it can save you money in interest and ultimately help you save more money and reach your goals faster.

Student loans, credit card balances, car loans, and mortgages all represent types of debt that typical consumers must pay off. It’s important to make sure to pay at least the minimum required—and on time—to keep all loans in good status. After all, defaulting on credit cards, car loans, student debt, or home mortgages can destroy your credit rating, and risk bankruptcy.

Debts are negative bonds

A fixed rate mortgage acts like a bond with fixed payments. But, the exception is that you are the one issuing the bond instead of buying it, which makes it a negative holding. Debts are like negative bonds, you’re making interest payments in addition to principal.

A bond is an investment in which you expect to get back your initial investment (principal) plus some interest. Conversely, a mortgage is a promise to pay back the borrowed amount (principal) plus some interest. Thus, it appears to be that a mortgage and all consumer loans are basically just a negative bond.

Viewing mortgages, automobile loans or student loans as a negative bond, where you are paying interest to the loan holder instead of collecting it, might change a person’s mindset regarding debt. Indeed, paying off debt almost always garners a higher after-tax return than you can earn by investing in high-quality bonds.

Before you tackle debt, pay yourself first.

Use tax-advantaged accounts like a flexible spending account or a health savings account if you have a high deductible health plan. That lets you pay for medical bills using pre-tax money.

Save enough in a workplace retirement savings plan to get the match from your employer—that’s “free money.” Set aside some cash for emergencies.

Assuming you are meeting those primary obligations, here’s a guide to help you pay off debt while saving for emergencies and long-term goals like retirement. It may seem counterintuitive, but before you tackle debt, make sure you have some “just in case” money and save for retirement.

It can be easy to run up a large credit card balance. And once you do, it’s not easy to pay it off. The minimum payments are typically low, which means you are paying mostly interest, so it will take much longer to pay off the balance. And it will cost you more. So if you can, consider paying more than the minimum each month.

Debt and Credit Reporting

Once a delinquency has been reported to a collection agency, paying it off won’t help your FICO score. The damage has already been done, and the blemish will remain on your credit report for seven years.

At this point, it is recommended that you negotiate with the debt collector so you can repay a smaller amount and keep more of your savings. Creditors will often accept far less than what is actually due. One important caveat: When you negotiate a lower payment, the IRS usually counts the forgiven amount (what you’re not required to pay) as income, which means that you’ll owe taxes on that money.

Take pleasure in saving.

Personal Financial guru Suze Orman states that the most important piece of advice she can provide regarding debt is that, “Until you can feel more pleasure from saving than you get from spending, you are going to be tempted to spend money you don’t have.” Essentially, until an individual makes saving a priority and core objective, they will be fighting a uphill battle to curb spending and to ensure the spending remains below the earnings.

It worth repeating the fact that Americans have a spending problem. Every research and survey conducted on the subject of debt reveals that conspicuous spending, or in the vernacular of a former Federal Reserve Chairman, conspicuous consumption has long been a concern of economists in American. Many of the bursting economic bubbles over the past dozen decades can be directly contributed to Americans getting over their proverbial skies with respect to debt and spending more than they earn.

Debt for appreciating and income producing assets

If used properly, debt can potentially provide the leverage to accumulate income and producing assets wealth. Very few people could afford to purchase a primary residence without a mortgage loan.

Not all property appreciates in value, of course, but for most Americans, their primary residence is their single largest asset. As of 2018, U.S. homeowners are sitting on a record $15.2 trillion of “tappable equity,” defined as the total amount of equity a homeowner with a mortgage can borrow against their home, according to Magnify Money by Lending Tree.


  1. https://www.fidelity.com/mymoney/ditch-debt-and-start-saving?ccsource=Facebook_YI&sf228845371=1
  2. https://www.transamericacenter.org/retirement-research/19th-annual-retirement-survey
  3. https://www.suzeorman.com/blog/Americans-Say-Paying-Off-Debt-is-Their-Top-Goal

3 tips to avoid locking in losses | Mass Mutual

By Allen Wastler
Allen Wastler is a former financial journalist with over 30-years of experience, including time at CNBC, CNN, and Knight-Ridder Newspapers.
Posted on Apr 13, 2020

After a huge market downturn and a major loss of value in your investment portfolio, the temptation to do something — anything — may be hard to resist.

But in many ways, the best action may be to take no action. Why? An investment plan is a long-term project and making changes to it based on short-term considerations is often ill-advised. That’s why financial professionals encourage people to stay calm during market sell-offs and think about long-term objectives.

“It is a tough and scary time, and not locking in losses by panic selling is critical,” said J. Todd Gentry, a financial professional with Synergy Wealth Solutions in Chesterfield, Missouri.

But even if you did resist the initial impulse to flee during a market retreat, you still need to keep some discipline about your portfolio as you wait for a market recovery. Here are some traps to avoid….Read more: Avoid Locking in Losses

Markets, as a whole, have historically bounced back from downturns with time, as the following chart illustrates.

Source: Bloomberg. The S&P 500 is an equity index that consists of the stocks of 500 large U.S. companies measured by market capitalization. The results here include the effect of reinvested dividends. You cannot invest directly in an index.

Getting Better at Something

To Get Better at Something, Ask Yourself These Two Questions

Anyone can get better and improve at anything, including personal finance, with the right mindset and deliberate action. That includes getting better at saving by paying yourself first, investing for the long-term and accumulating wealth.

But in order to get better, individuals need to honestly answer “yes” to two very basic questions. Those two questions are:

  1. Do you want to do or get better?
  2. Are you willing to feel the discomfort of putting in more effort and trying new things that will feel weird and different and won’t work right away? To fail?

If the answer is “no” to either question, then it would be foolish for an individual to believe they can improve and get better by doing things the way they’ve always done it or thinking the same way they’ve always thought. Additionally, it would prove a waste of time and effort for any coach to undertake a client or player to improve their skills who do not answer yes to both questions.

Essentially, getting better, especially at saving and investing, is about wanting to get better by embracing a positive mindset and is about having a willingness to experience discomfort. It is important to know that you can become better at anything if your willing to do what is necessary.

But you will not get better if 1) you don’t believe you can and 2) you aren’t willing to accept the discomfort of doing things differently and do whatever it takes to get better.

Learning anything new means moments of feeling uncomfortable. You will need to act in ways that are unfamiliar and take risks that are new. Try things that, in many cases, will be initially frustrating because they won’t work the first time.

You are guaranteed to feel awkward and possibly experience failure for the first time. You will make mistakes. You may be embarrassed or even feel shame, especially if you are accustomed to succeeding.

The key take-away is that answering these two questions yes are a prerequisite to growth and achieving financial success.


  1. https://hbrascend.org/topics/if-you-want-to-get-better-at-something-ask-yourself-these-two-questions/

Financial Life Planning

“People have the potential to live longer than any other time in history. This gift of extra time requires that we fundamentally redefine retirement and our life journeys leading up to it.” What is “Retirement’?  Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies

Financial Life Planning connects the dots between our financial realities, our values and the lives we long to live. It helps both pre-retirees and retirees identify their core values and connect them with their financial decisions and life goals. It is an financial planning and investing approach which helps people manage their portfolio.

Financial life plan focuses on the human side of financial planning, including people’s anxiety, habits, behaviors and other emotions (e.g., fear and greed) tied to investing money and accumulating wealth. People struggling with retirement and other finances really need a plan that helps them manage their attitudes, habits, goals and resources.

George Kinder, known to most as the “father” of the life planning, is the founder of Kinder Institute. He views life planning as “a way of holistically delivering financial planning that focuses on delving into people’s real goals, beyond just their financial concerns, in an effort to help them use their money to deliver freedom into their lives”.

Financial Life Planning combines personal finance and wellness. It spends time to discussing life planning and to building an intentional life. There is more to living a life of freedom and purpose than money and wealth. To live a life of freedom and purpose, people are encouraged to consider George Kinder’s famous Three Questions, which are:

Question 1: Design Your Life

“I want you to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. The question is, how would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back your dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours.”

Question 2: You have less time

“This time, you visit your doctor who tells you that you have five to ten years left to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?”

Question 3: Today’s the day

“This time, your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do I wish I had finished or had been? What do I wish I had done? ”

Society tends to attribute personal and professional success to the acquisition of material things and the accumulation of wealth. Most of us find ourselves inextricably caught in a cycle of earning, spending, and investing often induced by societal and peer pressures to fit into a perceived definition of success.

And in spite of this, how many times have we heard from even well-to-do friends, acquaintances and relatives that they are not exactly happy with how their lives have shaped up, how they don’t enjoy what they are doing, how they are drowning in debt or living paycheck to paycheck, or how they don’t have any time to pursue their dreams and interests?

If you look closely, there is a common undercurrent running across all these statements that we find ourselves ‘enslaved’ to a script or lifestyle broadcast by social media which was not exactly aligned to our values and innermost dreams.

No one ever wanted to spend more time in the office

“No one ever said on their deathbed ‘I wish I’d spent more time at the office.’ ” Harold Kushner

Having read many anecdotal reports regarding end of life issues, it is important what truly matters to most people in the end. Typically, people do not say that they wish they had earned more money, spent more time at work, or had one more side hustle.

Most often instead, they wish they had spent more time with family and friends. They had more experiences with those that they love. They had taken better care of their health and bodies over the decades. They had saved more and planned better for their retirement. And finally, they wanted to make sure that those they left behind would be taken care of once they were gone.


References:

  1. https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/T023-C000-S004-retirees-build-a-financial-plan-based-on-you.html
  2. https://www.kinderinstitute.com
  3. https://www.kitces.com/blog/george-kinder-institute-life-planning-podcast-seven-stages-maturity/
  4. Podcast: #FASuccess Ep 015: Why Life Planning Is Simply Financial Planning Done Right With George Kinder

Goals, Systems, Habits…Oh My

To live the life you want, you must know what you you want!

To live a rich and fulfilling life, it important to have goals that aligns with those things you value most and habits, or a system, to achieve those goals. You must be able to distill those goals into a few seconds of spoken words you’ll remember.

Studies show that people who can clearly craft a narrative for their personal goals—and mentally and emotionally embrace their goals—have a better chance of reaching those goals.

It is recommended that people create several lists of goals: one for emotional, another for finances and another for health. State your goal for the current year, in the near future (years three and five), and further out (years seven and 10).

For example: A current emotional list includes going out for dinner with friends every month. In year five, the gal could be to take a dream vacation to Tahiti. In year 10, the goal could be to become debt-free or financially secure.

It’s about creating your own vision and speaking your goals aloud, which makes it much easier to stay focused on them. Having goal clarity is essential to motivation. Consequently, in order to get motivated to achieve your big dreams, you need to be clear on the next step or two. You’re finding clues and guides along the way. This is the process and emotional experience of pursuing a big dream.

Here’s what you need to move forward:

  1. A clear direction so you actually know what to do
  2. A hard and fast timeline
  3. The right system

“Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.” James Clear, Atomic Habits

Most personal goals are hard to reach since progress is often slow and occur in small increments, they’re boring and unmotivating, and they’re difficult to ultimately achieve. In the end, most well-intended individuals tend to abandon their goals and revert back to the old bad or undesirable habits they were attempting to change or eliminate. It takes willpower to achieve a goal without a system and there is a limited supply of will power. Willpower is a finite resource.

Instead of creating a goal, implement a system. Implementing a system would go along towards forming a new habit. For example, with financial security and planning for retirement, you could spend time educating yourself about cash flow, net worth, financial planning, saving and investing. In short, we should focus on the knowledge we need to form good personal financial habits.

“The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” James Clear, Atomic Habits

James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits”, wrote a practical book on how to optimize your habits and get 1 percent better every day. He believes the most important key to achieving most of our goals are habits. Habits are those automatic routines we follow every day, day after day after day. If we make small changes to these automatic daily routines we all have, then we will see huge changes in our life quality and success over the months, years and decades later which is why this book is called “Atomic Habits.” It’s about small changes that lead to powerful explosive progress over a long period of time.

Scott Adams, the cartoonist behind the Dilbert comics, is an vocal advocate of building systems and says that you’ll “…be more successful by ignoring goals and focusing on building great systems in your life”.

The problems inherent in goals are many. The first and biggest problem, as James Clear points out, is that “winners and losers have the same goals.” And since winners and losers have the same goals, then your goals cannot make the difference between success and failure.

Instead of goals, it’s much better to focus on systems. Systems are the processes by which we achieve our goals. For example, if you have the goal of being an investor, then your systems may be paying yourself first with saving and investing 15 to 20 percent of your income every month and increase financial literacy by reading 5 financial and investing articles every week.

A systems-centred approach puts our focus on the process or daily habits rather than the end goal. It’s about finding ways to improve our skill of saving or investing, and most importantly finding enjoyment in the activity itself as our driving motivation.

“The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking.” James Clear, Atomic Habits

Goals have many built-in problems. They make us believe happiness is found in the future and sabotage lifelong progress. Focusing on systems, which are the processes and daily habits of our lives, will make us both more happier and more successful.


Sources:

  1. https://www.samuelthomasdavies.com/book-summaries/self-help/atomic-habits/
  2. https://growth.me/book-summaries/atomic-habits/

The Wealthy Next Door

To accumulate wealth, you should start by reading and studying the behaviors of people who have successfully accumulated wealth and achieved financial independence.

In the groundbreaking financial book, “The Millionaire Next Door: Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy”, written in 1996 by William Danko and Thomas Stanley, found that people who appear wealthy may not actually be wealthy.

Their findings reveal that people who appear wealthy tend to overspend or live paycheck to paycheck. They often overspend on symbols of wealth like luxury vehicles and large homes — but actually have modest or negative personal net worths. On the other hand, wealthy individuals tend to live modestly in middle-income communities, drive modest vehicles, and shop at Costco Warehouse.

Lessons Learned from “The Millionaire Next Door” are enlightening on how the wealthy actually spend and save. Instead of appearing to be wealthy, they tend to:

Understand that Income Does Not Equal Wealth

It is a fact that higher-income households tend to have more wealth than lower- and middle-income households. But the size of a paycheck explains only approximately 30% of the variation of wealth among households. What really matters is how much of the income is not spent on discretionary things, but is saved and invested. On average, wealthy individuals invest nearly 20% of their income. And, it finds that those in the top quartile of wealth accumulation are prodigious accumulators of wealth (PAWs), according to Danko and Stanley

Work with a Budget

The majority of wealthy individuals have a budget. Of those who don’t, they have what the authors called “an artificial economic environment of scarcity,” more commonly known as “pay yourself first.” In other words, they invest a good chunk of their income before they can spend any of it. As the authors wrote, “It’s much easier to budget if you visualize the long-term benefits of this task.”

Manage their Spend

Nearly two-thirds of the wealthy can answer know how much their family spends each year for food, clothing, and shelter. In contrast, only 35% of high-income non-wealthy answered yes to this question. The wealthy manage and track their spending.

Have Defined Financial Goals

About two-thirds of wealthy have clearly defined short-, intermediate- and long-Term goals. Many of the wealthy are retired and have already reached their goal of financial independence.

Dedicate Time To Financial Planning and Education

Creating a budget, goal setting and financial planning all take time, but the wealthy were willing to spend it. Danko and Stanley found that people they labeled “prodigious accumulators of wealth” (PAW) spend many hours per month planning their investments. In fact, they found “a strong positive correlation” between investment planning and wealth accumulation. Each week, each month, each year, the wealthy plan their investments.

Buy and Hold Smaller Homes

Your purchase of a home — and how often you choose a new one — will determine your ability to accumulate wealth. According to The Millionaire Next Door, that wealthy family has been next door for quite a while. Half of the wealthy have lived in the same house for more than 20 years.

Stay Married

The majority of wealthy people are married and stay married to the same person. Several studies have shown that people who are married accumulate more wealth than those who are single or divorced. Conversely, it’s important to partner with someone who possesses similar healthy financial behavior and habits.

Buy and Hold Pre-Owned Vehicle

The majority of wealthy individuals own their cars, rather than lease. Approximately a quarter have a current-year model, but another quarter drive a car that is four years old or older. More than a third tend to buy used vehicles.

Live Happier Lives

Bottomline, living below your means is the one sure way to accumulate wealth and to live happier. Since, there exist a peace of mind living below your means and saving money. Danko and Stanley’s research indicates that, “financially independent people are happier than those in their same income/age cohort who are not financially secure.”

Essentially, when it comes to financial security and retirement planning, adopting the lifestyle of the wealthy means you can save more toward your financial goals and destination. That’s a formula that can help anyone to accumulate wealth and achieve financial independence.


  • References:
    1. Thomas J. Stanley, and William D. Danko, The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy Paperback, November 16, 2010
    2. https://www.getrichslowly.org/nine-lessons-in-wealth-building-from-the-millionaire-next-door/

    Accumulating Wealth

    The wealthy accumulate wealth by being frugal

    Frugality – a commitment to saving, spending less, and sticking to a budget – is a key factor in accumulating wealth, according to DataPoints’ founder, Dr. Sarah Stanley Fallaw.  Dr. Fallaw is also the co-authored “The Next Millionaire Next Door: Enduring Strategies for Building Wealth“.

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    In an University of Georgia’s financial planning performance lab research paper examining the topic of “what does it take to build wealth over time”, the key findings were that those who were successful at accumulating wealth frequently exhibited the following behaviors:

    • Spending less than they earned
    • Having a long-term outlook on their financial future
    • Maintaining sound financial records
    • Keeping up with financial markets
    • Saving regardless of income level

    Essentially, her research shows that anyone can accumulate wealth if they know the right steps to take. And, if individuals possess a certain set of characteristics, they may be more likely to become wealthy, according to Dr. Fallaw, who is also director of research for the Affluent Market Institute.

    In her research, she found that six behaviours, which she called “wealth factors,” are related to net worth potential, regardless of age or income:

    • Frugality, or a commitment to saving, spending less, and sticking to a budget
    • Confidence in financial management, investing, and household leadership
    • Responsibility, which involves accepting your role in financial outcomes and believing that luck plays little role
    • Planning, or setting goals for your financial future
    • Focus on seeing tasks through to their completion without being distracted
    • Social indifference, or not succumbing to social pressure to buy the latest thing

    In order to accumulate wealth, it is imperative for investors to understand that their underlying financial behavior and habits matter significantly. DataPoints research supports the notion that, “…individuals who successfully accumulate wealth often engage in basic and identifiable productive financial management behaviors.” And, they are often “socially indifferent” to the latest “must haves” and they resist the “lifestyle creep,” which is the tendency to spend more whenever they earn more.

    To properly build wealth, financial experts recommend saving 20% of your income and living off the remaining 80%. Many wealthy individuals, who religiously follow this principle, espoused the freedom that comes with spending and living below their means.


    Reference

    1. Grable, J. E., Kruger, M., & Fallaw, S. S. (2017). An Assessment of Wealth Accumulation Tasks and Behaviors. Journal of Financial Service Professionals, 71(1), 55-70.
    2. https://www.datapoints.com/2017/04/06/tasks-of-wealth-accumulators/
    3. https://apple.news/A4YIQ2ahsSKqzUG3rh1PmTQ