Category Archives: Happiness

Good Relationships Equate to Happiness

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“Satisfaction with relationships was a better predictor of how people would age more than cholesterol, socioeconomic conditions, or genetics.” ~ Motley Fool contributors Brian Feroldi, Brian Stoffel, & Brian Withers

Positive and strong relationships keep you happier, healthier and living longer, according to the results of a 75+ year experiment started at Harvard during the Great Depression and according to dozens of other studies.

In 2002, two pioneers of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of personal happiness. They found that the most salient characteristics shared by students who were very happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.” The New Wallis, 2005).

“Social connections are really good for you; and loneliness kills. “People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier; they are physically healthier; and they live longer than people who are less socially connected.”

A relative lack of social connections has been associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as with increased mortality. One study, found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% — an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity.

Thus, satisfaction with relationships was a better predictor of how people would age more than cholesterol, socioeconomic conditions, or genetics.

Social connections give you pleasure, they also influence your long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a healthy whole real food diet, physical activity and not smoking.

Understanding finance and investing your personal capital are just a means to an end. The whole point of financial freedom is using that time that’s freed up to strengthen your personal relationships.

There’s nothing more important to a long-term mindset than good social relationships. The quality of your personal relations with other people is the number one factor that effects your level of life-satisfaction.

So, make it a priority to take time to foster your most meaningful relationships. Choose activities that are most likely to bring joy to you and the people you have the strongest personal relationships.

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” ~ John C. Maxwell

References:

  1. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-health-benefits-of-strong-relationships
  2. https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/relationships-and-happiness/

Life Purpose in Five Minutes

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Adam Leipzig gave a TED talk regarding discovering your Life Purpose in 5 minutes. In his talk, he discusses a five step process to find meaning and purpose in your life.

In a non-scientific survey of Yale University classmates attending a college reunion, Adam Leipzig discovered to his dismay — despite financial, material and career success — that:

  • The majority of attendees, eighty percent (80%), were unhappy with their lives, and
  • A minority of attendees, twenty percent (20%), were happy

He explained that the people who were happy with their lives knew their life purpose.  For this to take 5 minutes, you need to already know the answers to these 5 things or questions:

  1. Who you are
  2. What you do
  3. Who you do it for
  4. What those people want or need to better their lives
  5. How the people you serve change or transform as a result of what you gave or did for them.

The most successful and happy people in almost every field and walk of life  are outward focus and focus on the people they serve first and foremost.

So, when people ask you, “what do you do”, just respond how what you do changes the lives of people. For example: “I help people build wealth, better manage their money, and achieve financial freedom”.  In a way, this can become your personal brand and elevator pitch. And it can be that simplite.

Adam Leipzig is a producer, executive and distributor. and has produced more than 300 stage plays and live events, and one of the founders of the Los Angeles Theatre Center.

Your Life Purpose comes down to what you really want to do to serve others and what you really enjoy doing to serve other, in the end. What you feel the most alive and happy doing while serving others.

References:

  1. https://www.transcendyourlimits.com/find-life-purpose

Two Wolves

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An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

  • One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued,
  • “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Feeding yourself with or focusing on negative thoughts can bring out the worst in yourself.

Conversely, positive thinking fuels the goodness within us. We exude joy, peace, hope, kindness, and love.

Essentially, what you focus your mind and thoughts on grows.

References:

  1. https://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

Gratitude Research

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Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness and a recognition that this goodness is sourced outside the self.” This doesn’t mean that life is perfect and peaceful, but when you look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages you to identify some amount of goodness and joy in your life. Dr. Robert Emmons

Research indicates that gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, reduce cardiac inflammation, increase happiness, improve relationships, and decrease depression. 

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, researcher, and author of the book Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, suggests that you “integrate gratitude into your daily life, rather than make it something you need to add to an already busy day”.

He recommends that you simply make it a point to notice opportunities that you can be thankful for and practice gratitude regularly.

Practicing gratitude can also make you better equipped to handle the difficulties of life that inevitably arise. In fact, according to Emmons, it’s an essential part of the process of healing from trauma. Even despair can be mitigated by the experience of appreciation for the good, however slight it might be.

Many survivors of the Holocaust, when asked to tell their stories, remember most strongly the feelings of gratitude for food, shelter, or clothing that was offered to them. This sense of thankfulness for the small blessings helped them maintain their humanity despite experiencing a horrific tragedy.

Additionally, many people with life-threatening illnesses also report decreased distress and increased positive emotions when they practice gratitude.

10 tips to fit gratitude in your life

Here are ten ways to become a more thankful person, according to Dr. Emmons:

  1. Every day, say aloud three good things that happened. It’s also extremely powerful to express gratitude aloud when you’re alone.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down the small things from your day that mattered to you. If you’re having a particularly rough day, you can look back through the pages of accumulated blessings in your life.
  3. Say thanks to your partner. Couples who express gratitude toward one another set up a powerful feedback loop of intimacy and trust, where both partners feel as if their needs are being met.
  4. Cool a hot temper with a quick gratitude inventory. One of the quickest ways to dispel the energy of a stormy mood is to focus your attention on what’s good. So when you’re about to lash out at someone, take a moment to do a quick inventory of five things you’re thankful for in the moment. It will help you relax and avoid saying something you’ll later regret.
  5. Thank yourself. Gratitude doesn’t always need to be focused on what other people have done for you! Make sure you give yourself a thank-you for the healthy habits you’ve cultivated in your own life.
  6. Use technology to send three gratitude messages a week. Harness the power of this technology to send out some good vibes, such as a text or Facebook comment, to tell your friends why you appreciate them.
  7. Savor the good moments. If you notice you’re feeling happy, stop what you’re doing and pay attention for a few minutes. Notice exactly how you feel, including the sensations in your body and the thoughts you’re having. Later, when you’re trying to inspire gratitude, you can remember this moment and experience the benefits all over again.
  8. Check for silver linings. Even the most difficult life challenges come with some benefit—you just have to look to find them. Making a mistake teaches you a lesson. When things feel hard, ask yourself: What’s good here?
  9. Look outward, not inward. Robert Emmons says people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude, and people who have an outward focus tend to experience stronger benefits.
  10. Change your perspective. If you struggle to come up with something to feel grateful for, put yourself in the shoes of someone who is experiencing misfortunes greater than your own. It will inspire gratitude for your own healthy body and circumstances, which you may have taken for granted otherwise.

It is vitally important to your health and overall emotional well being to cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life. Research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

References:

  1. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/making-gratitude-part-everyday-life-tips-dr-robert-emmons
  2. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/10-ways-be-more-thankful-person

Your Powerful Thoughts and Mind

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“You will attract to you…the very things, or the very station in life, that you create in your thoughts.” —Napoleon Hill

The most powerful tool available to you is your mind and you can attract the very things you create in your thoughts and mind, writes Napoleon Hill, America’s most followed motivational author about the principles of success. “Your thoughts singularly determine your personal outcomes in life, as well as your ability to enjoy the journey,” he opines.

In order to harness your thoughts to create the life you desire, you simply need to utilize the mental resources already within your possession, Hill concluded. You must cultivate a thorough understanding of the workings of the mind and the manner in which thoughts may be transformed into their physical counterparts.
 
In order to create positive change in your life, you must learn to harness the power of your thoughts. In particular, you must discover how to:

  • Magnetize your thought impulses with desire
  • Refine your thoughts with definiteness of purpose
  • Control and direct your emotions to productive ends
  • Support your goals with a compelling network of motives
  • Create positive thought habits through concentration and repetition
  • Protect your mind from negative external influences

The more you practice, the greater control you will have over your thoughts and emotions, which will enable you to enjoy more success in the pursuit of your definite major purpose.

Essentially, Dr. Hill wrote that there are no limitations to the mind conditioned for success and achievement.

“Try as hard as you wish and you cannot be happy unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Work with all the strength at your command and you cannot accumulate more than barely enough to live on unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

The one and only person in all this world through whose efforts you can be supremely happy under all circumstances, and, through whose labor you can accumulate all the material wealth that you can use legitimately, is YOURSELF!” —Napoleon Hill

By understanding and embracing the power of thought and your mind, you will be able to operate at a higher plane of thought and action, better recognizing opportunities, gaining influence, and instilling this critical quality in others.

According to Napoleon Hill (Law of Success), self-confidence is…

  • the banishment of fear
  • the acquisition of mental courage
  • a safeguard from failure and defeat
  • the foundation for high achievement
  • the secret to attracting opportunities
  • the impetus for taking action on your dreams
  • the crucial ingredient for healthy relationships
  • the key to personal freedom and joy

When you believe in your ability to succeed…you completely transform your life.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Most people take their joys and blessings for granted. Instead of focusing on their joys and blessings, they rather focus on what they do not have; or, constantly think and complain about their problems and troubles.

But, changing your focus and thoughts from problems to joy, and from what you don’t have to expressing gratitude for your many life blessings will change your life. And, a great way to change your thoughts is to appreciate and enjoy what you already have.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie

Focus on changing your thoughts and focus instead of changing the world and environment around you

It is impossible to change the world or environment around you. The best and wisest course of action is to change yourself or at least change your thoughts and attitude towards the people or situations you do not like.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.” ~ Wayne Dyer

References:

  1. https://www.amazon.com/Napoleon-Hills-Language-Thought-Publication/dp/164095242X/ref=nodl_
  2. https://www.brownleeglobal.com/working-on-your-goals-and-expressing-gratitude-everyday/
  3. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1640952349/ref=emc_b_5_mob_i
  4. https://www.purposefairy.com/66095/change-your-thoughts/

The Power of “I Am”

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Self-talk, which is also known as your inner voice, are the words and messages you repeatedly say to yourself. These words, whether they are positive or negative, strongly influence how you feel and act in your daily life.

Self talk directly and substantially influences the way you think, behave and feel. Therefore, it’s important to use positive, motivating words that are structured to help you live your best life. For example, some people say destructive and disparaging comments to and about themselves that they would never say to someone else.

What follows the two simple words, “I Am”, will determine what type of life you have and will either bring success or failure in your life, says Pastor Joel Osteen.

Instead of saying negative “I Ams”, – “I am a failure. I am never going to succeed”, say what God says you are. Declare “I am blessed, confident, loved, accepted.”

When you change your “I Ams,” your life will change for the better. The seeds of greatness on the inside will spring forth.

10 Tips to become physically/mentally/emotionally stronger:

  1. Workout and move every day, eat healthier and get adequate sleep
  2. Meditate every day and strive to live a purpose driven life
  3. Accept new challenges or try something new…keep growing.
  4. Take some time to reflect and to be mindful…and spend time reading everyday
  5. Develop positive self-talk (affirmations) and stop negative self-talk
  6. Get comfortable with and learn from rejection and failure
  7. Have a gratitude attitude daily and keep a gratitude journal
  8. Be kind to yourself and others
  9. Stop comparing yourself to others
  10. Surround yourself with positive people

References:

  1. https://www.joelosteen.com/how-to-watch/Messages/2018/04/09/20/26/The%20Power%20of%20I%20Am
  2. https://positivewordsresearch.com/thoughts-matter/

Thoughts of the Day

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Gratitude is a Super Power!

Gratitude is a choice, not just a feeling. You must choose to live a life in gratitude and therefore gratitude is an attitude and virtue. Gratitude is a virtue you choose to live your life by.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues but the parent of all the others.” Cicero (106-43bc), Roman Philosopher

Angeles Arrien wrote: “The practice of offering gratitude bestows many benefits. Anger, arrogance, and jealousy melt in its embrace. Fear and defensiveness dissolve. Gratitude diminishes barriers to love and evokes happiness, keeping alive what has meaning for us.”

Gratitude is recognizing the fact that everything good that happens in your life is a gift. Not something we’re entitled to, or should expect, but actually a very sweet gift.

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~Eckart Toll

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”– Robert Collier

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryan

“Minimalism isn’t about removing the things you love. It’s about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.” ~Joshua Becker Over

“In every season of our life, we’re tempted to focus on our present burdens and miss the opportunities and blessings.

We love it when we receive the blessing, the promotion, the new house, the baby, but with the blessing comes new burdens, responsibilities, payments, cares.

Rather than enjoy where we are on the way to where we’re going, we get so caught up in the challenges that we miss the beauty of this moment.

You could be in one of the best seasons of your life, but you don’t realize it because you’re focused on the struggles, on what you don’t like, on what’s taking so long.

At some point you have to put your foot down and say, “This is the day the Lord has made”, and I will not allow my burdens to steal my joy, my peace and my enjoyment of my blessings.

Change your perspective and attitude. Shift your focus from life’s burdens to the blessings and opportunities, from what’s wrong to what’s right, from what you don’t have to what you have.

Make the most of abundant joy and peace every day.

“Being grateful all the time isn’t easy. But it’s when you least feel thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive. It’s the quickest, easiest most powerful way to effect change in your life — this I know for sure.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

References:

  1. https://www.joelosteen.com/en-US/inspiration/todays-word/2021/03/21/20/06/Todays%20Blessings

The Present and In All Things Be Grateful

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“A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.” –Albert Einstein

The present is also the only place where happiness and peace can be experienced. Sadly though, the past and future are where many people choose to live their lives.

Equally important is that whatever happens in the now, there is always a choice in how to respond.

How you decide respond to what happens to you will be the ultimate deciding factor as to the quality of success, peace and happiness you will have in life.

Be Grateful For What You Have Now

Part of living in the present moment is taking the time to be grateful for what you have now (not in the past or in the future). If you are constantly focused on things you don’t have, you aren’t taking the time to appreciate what you have right now at this moment.

One way to practice gratitude is to write a list of things you are grateful for and review that list on a daily basis. Try to write at least three things you are grateful for in your life right now.

Alternatively, you can write out as many things as you can think that you’re grateful for.

In short, in all things be grateful.

References:

  1. https://www.success.com/if-you-want-to-be-happy-tell-the-big-mouth-inside-your-head-to-shut-up/
  2. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-do-you-live-in-the-present-5204439

The Optimist

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“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~ Winston Churchill

While your health is very important to your quality of life and longevity, your emotional well-being is equally important. Your emotional well-being impacts the way you do nearly everything in your life.

Studies show that people who are optimistic are less likely to suffer from a chronic illness, states Brian Tracy, Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International. They live 11-15% longer and have a greater chance of living beyond age 85.

Optimistic people have better job security, are more likely to succeed in their careers, and have greater job satisfaction. They are able to turn disappointments into motivation, which leads to increased productivity and accomplishments. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said, “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Optimistic people get sick less often and recover from illnesses faster. Optimists seem to have different ways of dealing with the world that set them apart from the average, says Tracy:

  1. “First, they keep their minds on what they want and keep looking for ways to get it. They are clear about their goals and they are confident that they will accomplish them, sooner or later.”
  2. “Second, optimists look for the good in every problem or difficulty. When things go wrong, as they often do, they say, “That’s good!” And then set about finding something positive about the situation.”

When you think and talk about what you want and how to get it, you feel happier and in greater control of your life. When you think about something that makes you happy, your brain actually releases endorphins, which give you a generalized feeling of well-being.

Moreover, if you are looking for something good or beneficial in a person or situation, you will always find it.  And while you are looking, you will be a more positive and cheerful person.

Optimists seek the valuable lesson in every setback or reversal.  Rather than getting upset and blaming someone else for what has happened, they take control over their emotions by saying, “What can I learn from this experience?” 

When you experience a setback or a negative event occurs, it’s your response that matters most and truly determines the outcome. Thus, it’s vitally important to always look for the positive response or optimistic lesson when such setbacks and events take place.

“While you cannot control everything that comes your way, you can control how you respond to them.” Brian Tracy

The true measure of emotional well-being is how positive and optimistic you are about yourself, about your talents and abilities, and about your life.

We all face challenges, but it is our reaction to those challenges that determine how quickly we can overcome them. Your ability to find an optimistic view of challenges will impact your overall success and emotional well-being, so to ensure you know how to be optimistic during hardships.

Resolve to see your glass of life as half full rather than half empty. Happy people give thanks for the many blessings in life rather than worrying or complaining about the things they do not have.

Assume the best of intentions on the part of everyone around you.  Most people are pretty decent, honest and are trying to do the very best they know how to, says Tracy. When you look for something good in their words and actions, you will almost always find something.

Finally, resolve to be cheerful, no matter what happens.

Looking on the bright side is most important when things go wrong. According to Tracy, “While you cannot control everything that comes your way, you can control how you respond to them.”

“Success is not an action that you take, it’s a way of life. If you want to accomplish great things, greatness must be reflected in everything that you do.” Brian Tracy

References:

  1. https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/be-an-optimist-at-all-times/
  2. https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/positive-attitude-happy-people-positive-thinking/

Brian Tracy, Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations.

In All Things Be Grateful

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God is good…All the time.

God is good in every situation and every circumstance, not just in those situations we view as good or favorable. He is with us even during challenging times and problems.

We don’t have to like everything that enters our lives, but we can be grateful for the fact Jesus is with us in whatever we are going through.

Thomas Edison once said that “I’ve never made a mistake. I’ve only learned from experience.”

“We haven’t failed. We now know a thousand things that won’t work, so we are much closer to finding what will.” ~ Thomas Edison

In all things be grateful

Expressing gratitude is an essential skill everyone needs to learn and practice to achieve success and to learn and grow.

Research shows that it impossible to be both fearful and grateful simultaneously. Moreover, it’s possible to worry and to be anxious, and be grateful.

You should be grateful for the multitude of blessings you experience in your life daily. You should as well be grateful for life’s problems and challenges; and view problems and challenges for what they are, opportunities to learn, grow and improve.

So always be grateful and always remember and embrace the adage, in life, there are either successes or learning opportunities.

References:

  1. https://inspireafire.com/can-we-be-grateful-in-all-things/
  2. https://www.internetpillar.com/thomas-edison-quotes/
  3. https://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/37-quotes-from-thomas-edison-that-will-bring-out-your-best.html