Category Archives: Mindset

Life is a Journey

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Life is a journey filled with thousands of steps to be taken. Each step matters, they sum up the entirety of your existence.

You must be intentional about taking these steps each day. The size of the step you take doesn’t matter, what matters is that you take that step.

Don’t be too focused on what is to come that you neglect what you need to do now.

Don’t be discouraged by how far you still have to go, be encouraged by how far you’ve come and inspired by what’s ahead.

Sometimes your progress may not be glaring, but be rest assured that for each step you take, something incredible is happening. The result may take time to be seen, but eventually you will see it.

A day will come when you will look back and see how those little steps you took have become a mighty span of great deeds.

Today requires you take a step, no matter little, remember it counts.

Source:  Mordecai Orimiladeye, Mordy Quotes

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

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Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, recorded patients’ dying epiphanies and put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware wrote of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how you might learn from her patients’ wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Bonnie Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

References:

  1. Susie Steiner, Top five regrets of the dying, The Guardian, February 1, 2012.  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

Maybe, Maybe No

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The Zen story “Maybe, Maybe Not”. It goes like this:

A farmer’s horse ran away. His neighbor came over to express his sympathy, but the farmer just said, “Maybe, maybe not.”

A few days later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses. The neighbor came over to congratulate the farmer, but the farmer just said, “Maybe, maybe not.”

Then the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses, but he fell off and broke his leg. The neighbor came over to express his sympathy, but the farmer just said, “Maybe, maybe not.”

A few weeks later, the army came to the village to draft young men into the army. The farmer’s son was exempted because of his broken leg. The neighbor came over to congratulate the farmer, but the farmer just said, “Maybe, maybe not.”

The story teaches us that we cannot always predict the outcomes of events, and that what may seem like a misfortune may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Elephant and Limiting Belief

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The first trick an elephant trainer teaches an elephant is not to escape.

When the elephant is still but a baby, the trainer chains the infant’s leg to a huge log, so when/if the elephant tries to escape, the log proves stronger and he gives up. Eventually the elephant becomes so used to its captivity, that even when it has grown huge and strong, all the trainer has to do is merely tie a rope around the elephant’s leg to anything – even a peg and the elephant won’t even try to escape. It has become a prisoner of its past.

“The Elephant Rope” is a story about limiting beliefs. The elephants were conditioned from a young age to believe that they could not break free from the rope. As a result, the elephants never tried to gain freedom again, even when they were fully grown and capable of doing so.

Moral of the story: Limiting beliefs can hold us back from reaching our full potential. We may have been conditioned by our past experiences or beliefs to believe that we cannot achieve something, but in reality, we may be more capable than we think. By breaking free from our limiting beliefs and challenging ourselves, we can achieve great things.

Source:  https://www.notsalmon.com/2015/04/29/limiting-beliefs/

Viktor Frankl and the Search for Meaning in Life

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“Striving to find meaning in one’s life is the primary motivational force in man.”  ~ Viktor Frankl

As Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting “meaning.”  He developed the psychological approach known as logotherapy (from the Greek logos, meaning “reason” or “principle”).

While observing the brutality and degradation within the Nazi concentration camps during WWII, he theorized that those Jewish concentration camp prisoners who tended to survive the experience, were not those who were physically strong, but those who retained a sense of control over their environment, and had some meaning and purpose in their lives.

These prisoners with meaning and who retained a ’sense of control’ were more likely to survive the dehumanizing experience; he himself tried to recreate the manuscript of a book he had been writing before his capture.

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except for one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” ~ Viktor Frankl

According to Frankl, meaning can be found through:

  • “Experiencing reality by interacting authentically with the environment and with others,
  • Giving something back to the world through creativity and self-expression, and
  • Changing our attitude when faced with a situation or circumstance that we cannot change.”

He observed:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s own attitude in any given set of circumstances—to choose one’s own way.”

For Frankl, joy was an important byproduct of finding meaning in life. He points to studies where there is marked difference in life spans between “trained, tasked animals,” i.e., animals with a purpose, than “taskless, jobless animals.”

In his famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he tells the story of how he survived the Holocaust by finding personal meaning in the experience, which gave him the will to live through it. He concludes that “without meaning, people fill the void with hedonistic pleasures, power, materialism, hatred, boredom, or neurotic obsessions and compulsions.”

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” ~ Viktor Frankl

In “Man’s Search For Meaning”, he says for a person to be happy they need 3 things:

1. Someone to love (relationship).
2. Something to do (meaning and purpose).
3. Something to look forward to (vision and hope).

References:

  1. https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/viktor-frankl/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/mans-search-meaning

Always Believe in Yourself

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“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”. ― Norman Vincent Peale.

When you believe in yourself, it can help you achieve your goals, manifest your dreams, and increase your well-being.

At the core of Dr. Peale’s message was a call to take charge of your life.

  • “Believe that problems do have answers. Believe that they can be overcome. Believe that they can be handled. And finally, believe that you can solve them.”
  • “Change your thoughts and you can change the world.”
  • “When obstacles or difficulties arise, the positive thinker takes them as creative opportunities. He welcomes the challenge of a tough problem and looks for ways to turn it to advantage.”
  • “Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory.”

Source: https://fee.org/articles/norman-vincent-peale-s-timeless-advice-take-charge-of-your-own-life-first/

The Story of Two Wolves

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“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” — Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and psychotherapist

 An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“‘A fight is going on inside me,’ he said to the boy. ‘It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.’

‘One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.’ 

‘The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf will win?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’”

Source https://historicalsnaps.com/2018/03/03/quote-sitting-bull/

The Purpose of Life in Retirement

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“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

For some people, the purpose of life may be to make the world a better place. Others may believe that the point of life is to find and achieve personal fulfillment. And some may feel that the point of life is simply to enjoy it as much as possible.

Many scientists would say that the purpose of life is to evolve and to live a life of purpose, according to Psychology Today magazine.

Evolution is the process that allowed organisms to survive and thrive. Humans, along with every living animal or plant, owe our existence to it.

Our purpose is to “evolve” during our lifetime because that is consistent with our evolutionary purpose.

Thus, the purpose of life?” is that we are here so that we can continue to live, adapt, learn, and grow. A purpose of life, and our purpose, is to continue to evolve.

We Evolved to Evolve

“Evolution” is a process of learning, adapting, and growing to be more effective and efficient, we see evolution everywhere.

Evolution is fundamental to every living organism. Inherent to our existence is that we learn, adapt, and grow. Additionally, maintaining healthy personal relationships is existential to our existence

Health, happiness, and longevity are the payoffs for this. Since our biological evolution is the foundation of our existence, a purpose of our lives is to continue to “evolve” during our lifetime by learning and growing.

There are several ways to grow, adapt and learn (to find purpose) in life, such as:.

  • Helping Others – Volunteering your time to help others can be a source of purpose.
  • Cultivating Relationships – Spending time with friends and family. Healthy and supportive interpersonal relationships are essential for both physical and mental health.
  • Continuing to Learn and Grow – Henry Ford stated, “Anyone who stops learning is old — whether this happens at twenty or at eighty. Anyone who keeps on learning not only remains young but becomes constantly more valuable — regardless of physical capacity.” To learn is to grow.  
  • Pursuing Your Interests – Pursuing hobbies or activities you enjoy can be an effective way to bring meaning into your life. Focus on doing work that is meaningful to you, whether it involves pursuing a career that you love, developing your creative skills, or simply enjoying your leisurely pastimes.
  • Building Your Awareness – Becoming more aware of your own thoughts, interests, and connections to the world around you can also be helpful when you are questioning the point of life.
  • Practicing Gratitude – Practicing gratitude, or the act of feeling and expressing thankfulness for the things that you appreciate in life has been shown to have a range of benefits. It can strengthen relationships, improve happiness, boost resilience, and improve overall health.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-happy-life/202010/what-is-the-purpose-life
  2. https://www.verywellmind.com/whats-the-point-of-life-why-you-might-feel-this-way-5272182

Successful Investor’s Psychological Mindset

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“Doing well with money isn’t necessarily about what you know. It’s about how you behave. And behavior is hard to teach, even to really smart people.” ~ Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money

Individuals must understand that there is a psychological mindset that the successful investor tends to have.

The successful investor will focus on probabilities, intrinsic values and safety of margin while letting decisions be ruled by rational, as opposed to emotional, thinking.

Investors’ emotions are their worst enemy.

The psychology of money is the study of our behavior with money. Billionaire investor Warren Buffett contends that the key to overcoming emotions is being able to retain your belief in the fundamentals of the business, and not get too concerned about the stock market price.

Investors should realize that there is a certain psychological mindset that they should have if they want to be successful, and try to implement that mindset. Dave Ramsey has said that building wealth is “20% head knowledge and 80% behavior.”

Value investing mindset

Value investing derives the intrinsic value of a common stock independent of its market price. By using a company’s factors such as its free cash flow, earnings, return on invested capital, and dividend payouts, the intrinsic value of a stock can be found and compared to its market value. If the intrinsic value is more than the current price, the investor should buy and hold until a mean reversion occurs.

Mean reversion is the theory that over time, the market price and intrinsic price will converge towards each other until the stock price reflects its true value. By buying an undervalued stock, the investor is, in effect, paying less for it and should sell when the price is trading at its intrinsic worth. This effect of price convergence is only bound to happen in an efficient market.

The fundamental principle of value investments lies in the ability of the markets to eventually correct to their intrinsic values. Common stocks are not going to remain inflated or bottomed-out forever despite the emotions and irrationality of investors in the market.

References:

  1. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/bengraham.asp
  2. Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money. Harriman House, Great Britain, September 8, 2020.
  3. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0857197681/ref=as_li_tl_nodl?

Mindset, Believing and Behavior Matters

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Your mindset is everything. Believe you can and you will! What you believe and think you become. 

Not everyone is going to believe in you and that’s okay. At the end of the day the only thing that really matters is that you believe in yourself. So, it’s essential to believe in yourself and to have faith in your own abilities. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there,” stated Theodore Roosevelt. His words remind us of the power of self-belief.

When we believe in ourselves, we unlock a world of possibilities and potential. It’s easy to get discouraged by the challenges we face, but with a positive mindset and unwavering determination, we can overcome them.

“Champions behave like champions before their champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners,” writes Bill Walls.  Effectively, champions behave and believe they are champions first, and success comes later. They adopt a champion’s mindset.

As in sports, belief and behavior matter with respect to building wealth and achieving financial freedom. Your mindset is everything. When you face challenges with a positive mindset, you open up a world of possibilities. Believe in yourself, have faith in your abilities, stay resilient, and you can accomplish anything.

“Leaders are not made in smooth seas when everything is going well. It’s easy to lead when you are winning. Leaders are made in the storm. No one is born though. Toughness is built in the struggle,” explains Julie Fournier. Neither is building wealth and achieving financial freedom.  Successfully and patiently navigating market volatility and economic turmoil requires a positive mindset, believing wealth and freedom are achievable, and possessing disciplined financial behavioral skills.

“Your mindset is everything. It shapes your thoughts, your actions, and ultimately your life. A positive mindset can help you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. So, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are capable of great things!” –  Unknown

What you focus on is what you will find and what you believe you will achieve. Believe in yourself and your abilities, and you’re already halfway to success. Keep pushing forward and never give up!

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/seeing-what-others-dont/201605/mindsets