Category Archives: Peace

Feeling Good and Well-Being

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Feeling good means that your body and mind are working at their peak level, and you have a general sense of well-being.

To feel good day after day, according to David Rakel, MD, director of the integrative medicine program at the University of Wisconsin, means that your body and mind are working at their peak level, and you have a general sense of physical, mental and emotional well-being. Dr. Rakel suggests:

Practicing Mindfulness: Stay focused on the present moment.

When you stop, look around and be mindful of the present moment, this life is pretty amazing.

“If we can learn to recognize the clutter that our mind is in and learn to be more mindful of the present moment, that can be a tremendous asset to our overall sense of well-being,” Rakel says. The “clutter” that can make you feel bad includes regret about the past and worry that bad things might happen to you.

A practice called mindfulness can help you reduce the clutter by keeping your focus on the present moment.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

To be more mindful, try to:

  • Take in the colors, sounds, and smells that surround you at any given time.
  • Pay attention to your breath moving in and out of your body for a few moments.
  • Let worrisome thoughts flow out of your mind when they pop up, rather than giving them attention and dwelling on them.

Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. And there’s growing research showing that when you train your brain to be mindful, you’re actually remodeling the physical structure of your brain.

Essentially, mindfulness lights up parts of our brains that aren’t normally activated when we’re mindlessly running on autopilot.

“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally,” says Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the research-backed stress-reduction program Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).

Practice staying positive.

The definition of being positive is having hope and confidence in one’s ability to handle what’s tough, along with remembering that nothing is all negative all the time, states Angela L., editor for A-Lifestyle.com.

Shifting perspective can help you live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Being positive starts with changing your perspective on how you see things. The same event can happen to two people, and one views it as a positive and one views it as a negative. So try to see the good side of the things and people around you; it can help you stay free of anxiety and depression, Rakel says.

Research says that we have powerful capabilities to choose positive ways and emotions of thinking. Our emotions change our body at the cellular level. Rather than trying to get rid of negative feelings, we can choose to respond to them differently. To live a happier life, it’s essential to learn how to highlight the positive thinking and improve your outlook on life.

If you believe something is negative, then it probably will be (and vice versa). Challenge that negativity by embracing the mindset of a fixer and a doer. If there’s a will, there’s a way! That’s truly how to stay positive.

You can’t control what happens to you, but one things you can control are your perspective and how you respond. It’s up to you to look for the right side in everything and react most positively.

Make a spiritual .

As long as your happiness depends on things that are impermanent, such as new luxury vehicles or new homes, you will always be disappointed and unhappy over the long-term.

If you want to achieve long-lasting peace and serenity, then your spiritual practice must become a way of life.

Rakel defines this spiritual practice as spending time on “that which gives your life meaning and purpose.”This could be your spiritual beliefs, enjoying nature, or sharing moments with loved ones. “If we get up in the morning excited about something that gives us meaning and self-purpose, our bodies do all they can to heal,” Rakel says.

In short, your happiness must depend on something that is constant and consistent. One thing in your lives that is constant is the present moment, and this is at the core of spiritual practice.

Be around people.

Having good interpersonal relationships and a good support network of family, friends, coworkers, and other people who care about you can help you stay healthier, feel less stressed, and even live a longer life. Spend time with these people regularly, and work to keep your relationships with them strong.

References:

  1. https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/more-energy
  2. https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/
  3. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/12-simple-ways-to-stay-positive-and-happy/

Gratitude Research

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Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness and a recognition that this goodness is sourced outside the self.” This doesn’t mean that life is perfect and peaceful, but when you look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages you to identify some amount of goodness and joy in your life. Dr. Robert Emmons

Research indicates that gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, reduce cardiac inflammation, increase happiness, improve relationships, and decrease depression. 

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, researcher, and author of the book Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, suggests that you “integrate gratitude into your daily life, rather than make it something you need to add to an already busy day”.

He recommends that you simply make it a point to notice opportunities that you can be thankful for and practice gratitude regularly.

Practicing gratitude can also make you better equipped to handle the difficulties of life that inevitably arise. In fact, according to Emmons, it’s an essential part of the process of healing from trauma. Even despair can be mitigated by the experience of appreciation for the good, however slight it might be.

Many survivors of the Holocaust, when asked to tell their stories, remember most strongly the feelings of gratitude for food, shelter, or clothing that was offered to them. This sense of thankfulness for the small blessings helped them maintain their humanity despite experiencing a horrific tragedy.

Additionally, many people with life-threatening illnesses also report decreased distress and increased positive emotions when they practice gratitude.

10 tips to fit gratitude in your life

Here are ten ways to become a more thankful person, according to Dr. Emmons:

  1. Every day, say aloud three good things that happened. It’s also extremely powerful to express gratitude aloud when you’re alone.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down the small things from your day that mattered to you. If you’re having a particularly rough day, you can look back through the pages of accumulated blessings in your life.
  3. Say thanks to your partner. Couples who express gratitude toward one another set up a powerful feedback loop of intimacy and trust, where both partners feel as if their needs are being met.
  4. Cool a hot temper with a quick gratitude inventory. One of the quickest ways to dispel the energy of a stormy mood is to focus your attention on what’s good. So when you’re about to lash out at someone, take a moment to do a quick inventory of five things you’re thankful for in the moment. It will help you relax and avoid saying something you’ll later regret.
  5. Thank yourself. Gratitude doesn’t always need to be focused on what other people have done for you! Make sure you give yourself a thank-you for the healthy habits you’ve cultivated in your own life.
  6. Use technology to send three gratitude messages a week. Harness the power of this technology to send out some good vibes, such as a text or Facebook comment, to tell your friends why you appreciate them.
  7. Savor the good moments. If you notice you’re feeling happy, stop what you’re doing and pay attention for a few minutes. Notice exactly how you feel, including the sensations in your body and the thoughts you’re having. Later, when you’re trying to inspire gratitude, you can remember this moment and experience the benefits all over again.
  8. Check for silver linings. Even the most difficult life challenges come with some benefit—you just have to look to find them. Making a mistake teaches you a lesson. When things feel hard, ask yourself: What’s good here?
  9. Look outward, not inward. Robert Emmons says people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude, and people who have an outward focus tend to experience stronger benefits.
  10. Change your perspective. If you struggle to come up with something to feel grateful for, put yourself in the shoes of someone who is experiencing misfortunes greater than your own. It will inspire gratitude for your own healthy body and circumstances, which you may have taken for granted otherwise.

It is vitally important to your health and overall emotional well being to cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life. Research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

References:

  1. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/making-gratitude-part-everyday-life-tips-dr-robert-emmons
  2. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/10-ways-be-more-thankful-person

Building Resilience

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“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

The author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life” and “Good Anxiety” explains how to harness the power of anxiety into unexpected gifts.

We are living in the age of anxiety. There are about 40 million Americans— or 18% of the population—suffering from clinical anxiety disorders today.

Anxiety is a situation that often makes you feel as if you are locked into an endless cycle of stress, uncertainty, and worry. But, there are ways to leverage your anxiety to help you solve problems and fortify your wellbeing, explains Dr. Wendy Suzuki, PhD, a neuroscientist and professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University. Thus, instead of seeing anxiety strictly as a problem or curse to dread, you recognize it as the unique gift that it is.

Dr. Suzuki has discovered a paradigm-shifting truth about anxiety: yes, it is uncomfortable, but it is also essential for your survival. In fact, anxiety is a key component of your ability to live optimally. Every emotion you experience has an evolutionary purpose, and anxiety is designed to draw your attention to vulnerability. If you simply approach it as something to avoid, get rid of, or dampen, you actually miss an opportunity to improve your life. Listening to your anxieties from a place of curiosity, and without fear or worry, can actually guide you onto a path that leads to inner peace and joy.

Drawing on her own struggles and based on cutting-edge research, Dr. Suzuki has developed strategies for managing unwarranted anxiety and exercises you can do to build your resiliency and mental strength. The exercises include:

Visualize positive outcomes

At the beginning or at the end of each day, think through all those uncertain situations currently in your life — both big and small. Now take each of those and visualize the most optimistic and amazing outcome to the situation. Not just the “okay” outcome, but the best possible one you could imagine.

This process of visualizing “the most optimistic and amazing outcome” should build the muscle of expecting the positive outcome and might even open up ideas for what more you might do to create that outcome of your dreams.

Turn anxiety into progress

Our brain’s plasticity is what enables us to be resilient during challenging times — to learn how to calm down, reassess situations, reframe our thoughts and make smarter decisions.

Reach out

Asking for help, staying connected to friends and family, and actively nurturing supportive, encouraging relationships not only enables you to keep anxiety at bay, but also shores up the sense that you’re not alone.

The belief and feeling that you are surrounded by people who care about you is crucial during times of enormous stress — when you need to fall back on your own resilience in order to persevere and maintain your well-being.

When we are suffering from loss or other forms of distress, it’s natural to withdraw. Yet you also have the power to push yourself into the loving embrace of those who can help take care of you.

Practice positive self-tweeting

Lin-Manual Miranda sends out tweets at the beginning and end of each day. The tweets are essentially upbeat little messages that are funny, singsongy and generally delightful.

If you watch him, you’ll see an inherently resilient, mentally strong and optimistic person.

For you to be that resilient, productive and creative, it’s essential to come up with positive reminders. You don’t necessarily need to share them. The idea is to boost yourself up at the beginning and at the end of the day.

This can be difficult for those who automatically beat themselves up. Instead, think about what your biggest supporter in life — a spouse, partner, sibling, friend, mentor or parent — would tell you, and then tweet, remind or say it to yourself.

Although popular science continues to suggests that persistent, low-level anxiety is detrimental to your health, performance, and wellbeing, but if you could learn how to harness the brain activation underlying your anxiety and make it work for you, you could turn anxiety into superpower, says Dr. Suzuki.

Her research and her own experience demonstrate that this paradigm shift from bad to good anxiety can accelerate focus and productivity, boosts performance, lead to happiness, create compassion, and foster more creativity.

Twenty-five positive quotes and reminders to build resilience:

  1. You’re awesome, Bro.
  2. You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you!
  3. Believe in yourself; have faith in your abilities!
  4. Everyday, in every way, you’re getting better and better, dude!
  5. “Great minds discuss ideas.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  6. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” Robert Collier
  7. “Be patient with yourself.” Stephen Covey
  8. “People will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
  9. “Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu
  10. “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” Andrew Carnegie
  11. “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” Denis Waitley
  12. “Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha
  13. “The secret of health for both mind and body…is to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha
  14. “Happiness…is appreciating what you have.”
  15. “We make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill
  16. “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty.” Charles Dickens
  17. “He is a wise man who rejoices for the things which he has.” Epictetus
  18. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” Oprah Winfrey
  19. “Open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift–today.” Steve Maraboli
  20. “This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it.”
  21. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brené Brown
  22. “Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” T. Harv Eker
  23. “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin
  24. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal.” Thomas Jefferson
  25. “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” Theodore Roosevelt

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs–even though checkered by failure–than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/31/do-these-exercises-every-day-to-build-resilience-and-mental-strength-says-neuroscientist.html
  2. https://www.wendysuzuki.com
  3. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/top-350-inspiring-motivational-quotes-to-tweet-and-share.html

Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise

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“The key to a happy life . . . is a healthy brain.” Wendy Suzuki

Exercise is the most transformative thing that you can do for your brain, says neuroscientist Dr. Wendy Suzuki, professor of Neural Science and Psychology at New York University.

Dr. Suzuki discovered through research and self examination that there is a biological connection between exercise, mindfulness, and action. With exercise, she believes that your body feels more alive and your brain actually performs better.  And, Dr. Suzuki states that “you can make yourself smarter. Exercising is one of the most transformative things you can do to improve cognitive abilities, such as learning, thinking, memory, focus and reasoning — all of which can help you become smarter and live longer.”

The way exercise boosts your brain health includes:

  1. It decreases feelings of anxiety – Studies have shown that every time your move your body, a number of beneficial neurotransmitters, including dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin and acetylcholine, gets released into your brain. These substances can decrease feelings of anxiety and depression. And, It only takes between 10 and 30 minutes of daily physical activity to instantly lift your mood.
  2. It improves your focus and concentration – A single workout can help improve your ability to shift and focus attention. This is an immediate benefit that can last for at least two hours after 30 minutes of exercise. Activities that increase your heart rate, such as brisk walking, running, swimming, cycling, playing tennis or jumping rope are recommended.
  3. It promotes the growth of new brain cells – One of the most significant benefits of exercise, scientists have found, is that it promotes neurogenesis, or the birth of new brain cells. This is essential to improving cognitive function. Exercise also can improve the health and function of the synapses between neurons in this region, allowing brain cells to better communicate.
  4. It protects your brain from aging and neurodegenerative diseases – Imagine your brain as a muscle: the more workout you put into it, the stronger and bigger it gets. Longitudinal studies in humans suggest that regular exercise can increase the size of the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex, both of which are susceptible to neurodegenerative diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s. So while exercising won’t completely prevent or cure normal cognitive decline in aging, doing it consistently can help reduce or delay the onset of it.

So, get up and start your brain transformation journey.

Dr. Suzuki encourages people to get active and go to the gym since the science clearly demonstrates how working out boosts your mood and memory — and protects your brain against neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s.

To get the brain-changing benefits of exercise, you should do at least three to four 30-minute workout sessions a week, explains Dr. Suzuki. You’ll also get the most benefits out of aerobic exercise, which increases the heart rate and pumps more oxygen into the brain.

Essentially, exercise can improve your brain functions today and protect your brain from neurodegenerative diseases as you age.

References:

  1. https://www.wendysuzuki.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prime-your-gray-cells/201108/happy-brain-happy-life
  3. https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Brain-Happy-Life-Everything/dp/B01LTHXL7Q/ref=nodl_

Mindfulness

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The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us, according to the website Mindfulness.com.

Mindfulness encompasses two key ingredients: awareness and acceptance, according to Psychology Today. Awareness is the knowledge and ability to focus attention on one’s inner processes and experiences, such as the experience of the present moment. Acceptance is the ability to observe and accept—rather than judge or avoid—those streams of thought.

Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. And there’s growing research showing that when you train your brain to be mindful, you’re actually remodeling the physical structure of your brain.

Mindfulness is a technique of deliberately focusing your attention and not let yourself be distracted by other thoughts constantly running through your head; you clear “noise” from your mind.

Mindfulness is the idea to become more self-aware. You pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations in that moment — without purposefully deciding whether they’re good or bad, and without becoming overwhelmed or overly reactive.

In short, you tune in to what you’re feeling and what’s real right now. “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally,” says Kabat-Zinn, creator of the research-backed stress-reduction program Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) . “And then I sometimes add, in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”

Mindfulness – Live in the day; Live in the now.

Mindfulness is available to you in every moment, whether through meditations or mindful moment practices like taking time to pause and breathe when the phone rings instead of rushing to answer it.

Breathe in and out a few times. If your mind wanders, just notice that, accept that your mind has wandered, and refocus on your breathing. That’s a bare bones example of mindfulness. “Mindfulness is really important in times like this,” says Auguste H. Fortin VI, MD, MPH, a Yale Medicine internal medicine specialist who has recommended mindfulness practices to help cope with their illnesses.

Mindfulness is a practice that involves three components:

  • Paying attention to what is happening in the present moment
  • Doing this purposely and deliberately, with resolve
  • Maintaining the attitude that you will stay with your mindfulness experience, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant

As you spend time practicing mindfulness, you’ll probably find yourself feeling kinder, calmer, and more patient. These shifts in your experience are likely to generate changes in other parts of your life as well.

Mindfulness can help you maximize your enjoyment of life and help you wind down. Its benefits include lowering stress levels, reducing harmful ruminating, and protecting against depression and anxiety. Research even suggests that mindfulness can help people better cope with rejection and social isolation.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”  Lao Tzu

References:

  1. https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness
  3. https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/mindfulness-covid

Chase Your Purpose, Not Your Passion

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Focus less on what makes you feel passionate, and more on what you truly care about, your purpose. Harvard Business School Professor Jon Jachimowicz

Chase Your Purpose, Not Your Passion, according to new Harvard Business Review research. The research shows that chasing your passion makes you less satisfied at work because work can be often difficult, draining, and even boring.

Research on passion suggests three key things:

  1. Passion is not something one finds, but rather, it is something to be developed;
  2. It is challenging to pursue your passion, especially as it wanes over time; and
  3. Passion can also lead us astray, and it is therefore important to recognize its limits.

Trade “purpose” for “passion”. 

We try to pursue our passion when we chase after what gives us the most joy or provides the most pleasure. In one study, researchers found that commencement speakers gave students advice on how to pursue their passion. Much of the advice centered on “focusing on what you love” as the way to follow your passion. But some speakers described the pursuit of passion as “focusing on what you care about.”

The distinction is subtle but meaningful: focusing on what you love associates passion with what you enjoy and what makes you happy, whereas focusing on what you care about aligns passion with your purpose, your values and the impact you want to have on your community and the world.

Instead of asking what makes you happy and “following your passion,” instead ask yourself what you care deeply about…what’s your purpose in life, according to Harvard Business School professor Jon Jachimowicz.

By focusing on purpose, you align your work with your deepest values, and also relieve yourself of the expectation that the long slog of a career will be all (or even mostly) happiness and sunshine. 

Purpose gives you the resilience to succeed.  

Jachimowicz says research backs up his claim that chasing purpose will make you more successful than chasing passion.  “In a set of studies, he found that passion alone is only weakly related to employees’ performance at their work. But the combination of passion and perseverance–i.e., the extent to which employees stick with their goals even in the face of adversity–was related to higher performance,” he writes. 

A well-rooted sense of purpose gives you way more resilience than passion alone ever could. And that resilience is what is likely to make you successful over the long haul.

Try to follow your passion and ask yourself this simple question: What do I truly care about?

Purpose is a far better career compass than passion and joy.  

“You don’t “find your calling,” you fight for it…” Dave Isay, StoryCorps founder

“You don’t just “find” your calling — you have to fight for it”, explains Dave Isay, StoryCorps founder. “People who’ve found their calling have a fire about them. They’re the people who are dying to get up in the morning and go do their work.”

References:

  1. https://hbr.org/2019/10/3-reasons-its-so-hard-to-follow-your-passion
  2. https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/new-harvard-research-to-be-successful-chase-your-purpose-not-your-passion.html?cid=sf01001
  3. https://ideas.ted.com/7-lessons-about-finding-the-work-you-were-meant-to-do/

Life Insurance

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If something were to happen to you today, is your family protected? 

Life insurance is a relatively low cost way to ensure that your family will have financial security if you or the primary earner should die prematurely. Furthermore, life insurance is often necessary financially because it provides peace of mind—not just for you, but for your whole family.

Conventional wisdom dictates that you don’t need life insurance if no one else depends on your income. While mostly true, there are many reasons why you should obtain life insurance if no one depends on your income.

  • Insurability and low premiums. Buying a policy both locks in lower premiums and guarantees insurability later in life. An existing insurance policy guarantees the ability to purchase additional insurance with no medical underwriting or physical exams. 
  • Cash Value Growth. Whole Life insurance policy provides attractive cash value growth. Access this cash value at any time using a policy loan. Or, if you cancel the policy, you get a return of all or a majority of the premiums paid, or the cash value – whichever is greater.
  • Funeral and burial expenses. From a practical perspective, in addition to the emotional devastation, parents also face significant expenses in the event of a child’s death. According to the Natural Funeral Directors Association, the median cost of a funeral with burial exceeds $7,000. Purchasing insurance for children alleviates the significant financial burden for a family coping with a tragic loss. 

Not only do rising prices make life increasingly expensive, but, as life’s circumstances change – you marry, buy a house, have children, and perhaps need to care for others – you have greater responsibilities and a need for better financial protection.

Key Takeaways

There are several excellent reasons to obtain insurance coverage for you and your family.

  • You can lock in low premiums while they are young and healthy.
  • You can lock in eligibility for other services while they have an active policy.
  • Permanent insurance provides a store of cash value that safely grows at a high crediting rate, which can be used to help fund future expenses like college tuition.
  • In the event of loss, a policy can cover the ever growing expenses of funerals and burials and protect your savings.

References:

  1. https://www.aafmaa.com/learning-hub/blog/post/2792/why-insure-your-child-or-grandchild-through-aafmaa
  2. https://www.aafmaa.com/learning-hub/blog/post/2810/your-life-will-change-so-the-way-you-protect-loved-ones-should-too

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

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“It’s never the situation that’s at fault. It’s the way we choose to view it. How we see our lives is how we live our lives.” Nicolas Cole

Many people, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. They believe that because they were unsuccessful in the past, they will always be unsuccessful going forward. In other words, they continue to see a barrier or obstacle to their success in their heads, even when no barrier or obstacle exists between where they are in their life and where they want to go.

Yet, no matter how hard the world tries to hold you back and convince you that you’re not worthy of achieving the life you desire, it’s imperative that you always continue to believe that your goals and what you want to achieve in life are possible. Believing you can become successful and you can achieve your wildest dreams and goals are the most important and critical steps in actually achieving them.

Taking accountability.

The reason why so many people struggle and fail at achieving their wildest dreams and goals is that they take the easy path and blame others for how they feel, for their current life, or for their personal issues.

Instead of “manning (or womanning)-up”, they default to blaming their parents, their childhood, or their bad luck for the reality they find themselves.

The key to achieve success and accomplish your goals is to take accountability. To shift your perspective from “blame” to “ownership.” By taking ownership and accepting accountability, you are allowing yourself to open up and to see opportunities to learn and grow.

Focus On The Lesson, Not The Problem

Many people fail to realize that it’s the journey that’s most important, not the end of the journey or reaching the destination. You are “successful” when you are walking your path, always learning, always growing. You are “doing what you love” when you see every moment as an opportunity.

It’s on you to discover the opportunities to grow and learn, and to embrace every moment as an opportunity.  Regardless of where you are in life, or what you’re doing, there are lessons to be learned. And unless you can discover those lessons and embrace your own journey, you will never actually reach the state of feeling “successful”–in the sense that you are learning and growing and effortlessly becoming a better version of yourself.

Lessons Are Everywhere. It’s On You To Find Them.

It is important to train and to condition yourself to always find the positive. Create moments of growth and opportunity. Growth is the result of how you utilize your environment and the people around you, and create opportunities for yourself.

The key to shifting your perspective is to remember what you’re aiming for. For example: A job where you perform mundane tasks is going to continue being mundane if you just see it as “just a job.” But a job where you perform mundane tasks that could be seen as a way to learn skills you need in order to one day do what it is you truly want to do, is no longer “just a job.” It’s an opportunity to learn.

You should recognize that what you look for is what you tend to see. So, instead of looking for an outcome that is negative or some flaw, look for something positive that can be beneficial or add to your. Shift your search for happiness and you can help create what you most desire.

Replace negative thoughts with something more positive. Practice focusing on the positive thoughts. The more you practice, the easier it will be for these thoughts to become second nature. Strive to say at least three positive thoughts about yourself each day, as it can make you feel happier and more confident during the day and help banish negative thoughts. Remember that perspectives can change, so work towards striving for positivity.

In the story above, nothing physical or tangible changed with your circumstances. The only thing that changed was your perspective.  And that makes all the difference.

So, when you’re looking at what’s going on around you and wonder how to escape the negativity and dark feelings. Maybe it’s not your circumstances that need to change—it’s your perspective and mindset.

References:

  1. https://www.marcandangel.com/2013/05/21/4-short-stories-change-the-way-you-think/
  2. https://www.inc.com/nicolas-cole/change-your-perspective-change-your-life.html

No. 1 Secret to Success, Wealth and Happiness in Life

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“Kindness and generosity are the keys to happiness and prosperity.”Wahei Takeda, president and founder of Takeda Confectionery Co.

Wahei Takeda, president and founder of Takeda Confectionery Co., was considered a truly happy man, and lived by example a life that demonstrated to others what it really meant to live a successful and meaningful life. Often called the “Warren Buffet of Japan”, Takeda was one of the country’s most successful and well-known investors.

The key to a happy and abundant life

Takeda’s philosophy of “maro,” which in Japanese means ‘a sincere heart’, “inner contentment and gratitude are the keys to a happy and abundant life”.

The secret to a happy life isn’t an abundance of wealth, since rarely does anyone says they have too much, or just enough. “Winning a $20 million lottery ticket won’t make you happier,” said Dr. Sanjiv Chopra, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. “Research has shown that after one year, lottery winners go back to their baseline. Some are even less happy.”

Chopra explains the four things that have been scientifically linked to happiness:

1. Relationship with Friends and family

Developing a close bond with people we trust and confide in is essential to our overall well-being. “Choose your friends wisely and celebrate everything small and good with them,” Chopra says.

Researchers have also warned that “loneliness and social isolation can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” whereas friendships can “reduce the risk of mortality or developing certain diseases and can speed recovery in those who fall ill.”

2. Forgiveness

“The ability to forgive frees you from the burdens of hate and other unhealthy emotions that can negatively impact your happiness quotient,” says Chopra.

He cites Nelson Mandela as a hero who truly mastered the art of forgiveness. In 1990, when the legendary freedom fighter emerged from his 27 years of prison, he was asked whether he had any resentment toward his captors.

“I have no bitterness, I have no resentment. Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies,” Mandela responded.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”  Nelson Mandela

3. Giving

Chopra says that getting involved with charities and donating money to help others is one of the most fulfilling ways to spend your time and money.  Researchers have suggested that people who volunteer experience greater happiness, higher self-esteem and a lower mortality rate.

A study from the University of Chicago and Northwestern University found that giving, rather than receiving, leads to long-term happiness. In one experiment, 96 participants were given $5 every day for five days — with the option to either spend it on themselves or on others.

“Everyone started off with similar levels of self-reported happiness,” the researchers wrote. “Those who spent money on themselves reported a steady decline in happiness over the five-day period. But happiness didn’t seem to fade for those who gave their money to someone else.”

4. Gratitude

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Roman Orator Marcus Tullius Cicero once

“There’s a wonderful anonymous quote that goes, ‘If you don’t know the language of gratitude, you’ll never be on speaking terms with happiness,’” Chopra says.

Practicing gratitude can be as simple as saying “I’m grateful” at least once a day. In fact, one study from the American Psychological Association found that doing so can help people savor positive experiences, cope with stressful circumstances and strengthen relationships. It will also measurably improve your own overall satisfaction and happiness in your relationships and life.

“Happiness flows not from physical or external conditions, such as bodily pleasures or wealth and power, but from living a life that’s right for your soul, your deepest good.” Socrates

“Taking time to think about what you’re grateful for makes you more aware of the positive things in your life,” says Chopra. As a result, “it makes you less biased by the fewer negative things in your life.”

In a money-obsessed capitalist society, the simplest way to reach a state of happiness, contentment and abundant life is to express gratitude and give to others, instead of always wanting or asking for more. Bottomline, “gratitude is a key to wealth, health, and happiness”.

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/01/25/warren-buffett-of-japan-secret-to-success-happiness-and-wealth-in-life.html
  2. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/31/harvard-professor-says-winning-20-million-lottery-wont-make-you-happy-but-heres-what-will.html?updated
  3. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/24/saying-this-powerful-phrase-is-the-science-backed-secret-to-a-happy-relationship.html?__source=iosappshare%7Ccom.microsoft.msedge.EMMXShareExtension

 

Mindset and the Power of Our

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“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.” Gautama Buddha

Your mind is very powerful. The way you think and believe about yourself turns into your reality. If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.

Link Between Thoughts, Beliefs, Feelings and Behavior

Each one of us has the power to create a reality of our choosing through our thoughts. What you think about and focus on directly influences how you feel and how you behave, according to Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the international bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. For example, if you think you’re a failure, you’ll feel like a failure. Then, you’ll act like a failure, which reinforces your belief that you must be a failure.

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Once you draw a conclusion about yourself, you’re likely to do two things;

  • Look for evidence that reinforces your belief and
  • Discount anything that runs contrary to your belief.

It might not be your lack of talent or lack of skills that are holding you back. Instead, it might be your beliefs that keep you from performing at your peak.

Creating a more positive outlook can lead to better outcomes in your personal life and professional career. And, harboring optimistic thoughts  can lead to productive behavior, which increases your chances of a successful outcome.

Change your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors

The good news is that you can change how you think with deliberate practice and effort. You can alter your perception and change your life for the better.

According to Morin, you can alter your perception and change your life by challenging your thoughts and beliefs:

  • Look for evidence to the contrary. Acknowledge exceptions to the rule will remind you that your belief isn’t always true.
  • Challenge your beliefs. Perform behavioral experiments that test how true your beliefs really are. If you think you’re not good enough, do something that helps you to feel worthy. Step outside of your comfort zone, force yourself to do something that feels a little uncomfortable.

With deliberate practice and effort, you can train your brain to think differently and eliminate those self-limiting thoughts and beliefs.

Deep breathing is incredibly beneficial in finding inner peace.

  • Breathe in and out deeply for one minute
  • Hold your breath for four seconds
  • Breathe out

This simple technique will bring about inner peace. Try it out for yourself and see the results.

References:

  1. https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2016/06/15/this-is-how-your-thoughts-become-your-reality/?sh=1dd1728528a0
  2. https://www.shift.is/2019/07/proof-that-our-thoughts-create-reality/