Tag Archives: Attitude

Dog Sitting on a Nail Story

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There is a story of an old man and his dog sitting on the porch. It’s hot outside. The old man is sipping on his lemonade and the dog is sitting next to him moaning in pain.

The neighbor across the street hears the dog moaning for several minutes, and his curiosity gets the best of him, so he approaches the old man.

He asks the old man, “why is your dog moaning?” The old man responds by saying: “the dog is sitting on a nail.”

Perplexed, the neighbor asks, “why doesn’t the dog just get up and move to another spot on the porch?”

The old man takes another sip of lemonade, smiles, thinks about his response and says, “it doesn’t hurt bad enough!”

Even though the dog was moaning in pain, the pain wasn’t “bad enough” for the dog to do something about it. Instead, all he did was moan.

All the dog really needed to do was stand up, move several inches, and find a comfortable spot on the porch to lay down.

People Can Be Like the Dog

This story describes human nature. People are comfortable, even if they are unhappy and are experiencing pain. We all have a comfort zone. Your comfort zone dictates your daily habits, thoughts, actions and success in life.

Additionally, people fear change. People also fear failure. Many people are unhappy with their lot in life, but they will not step out of their comfort zone and change. Why? Because the pain doesn’t hurt bad enough for them to make a change in their life. They believe the pain of changing is greater than the pain of staying the same.

It’s not until people get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and make the decision they will do whatever it takes, that they will change and do what they need to do.

Time is Precious

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”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

Brian Tracy*, Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, posted recently the following Facebook post regarding time, mindfulness, and focus:

”If there’s one thing that’s certain in life, it’s that time is precious. We only have so much of it to achieve our goals and fulfill our dreams,” says Tracy. That’s why it’s important to be deliberate about how you spend and invest your time, talent and treasure.

Tracy’s quote “Don’t waste time knocking on doors that won’t open for you” speaks to this idea. It reminds you that not every opportunity will be the right fit for you, and that’s okay. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some doors simply won’t open for you.

Instead of wasting time and energy trying to force these doors open, it’s better to focus your efforts toward doors that are more likely to lead to success. This doesn’t mean you should give up at the first sign of resistance, but rather that you should be mindful of when it’s time to move on.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” stated Apple founder Steve Jobs. “Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

One of the keys to success is to focus on your strengths and pursue opportunities that align with them. When you do this, you are more likely to find doors that are a good fit for you and that will open with greater ease. This can lead to greater fulfillment and success in both your personal and professional lives.

Additionally, success is about taking action. As the famous quote goes, “The act of taking the first step is what separates the winners from the losers.”

Many people have brilliant ideas and big dreams, but few are willing to take the first step toward achieving them, writes Tracy. It’s easy to get bogged down by fear, doubt, or uncertainty. But those who are willing to take action, despite these challenges, are the ones who achieve success.

Focusing on your strengths, pursuing opportunities, and taking the first step can be daunting, but it’s also incredibly liberating. It’s the moment when your idea transforms from a mere thought into a tangible reality. It’s the moment when you gain momentum and start moving toward your goals.

In conclusion, this is a powerful reminder to be mindful of where you invest your time and energy. By focusing on opportunities that align with your values, strengths and passions, you can increase your chances of success and fulfillment. So, it’s important to be smart about where you “knock and keep pushing forward toward the doors that will open” for you, writes Tracy.

“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.” ~ Steve Jobs

Source:  https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02yGDH61Cd1RKimgr4crwkf2RwQPNWyPvAqS96e4cNzxL8EZXBfPF3SPNBHbwSoZ79l&id=100044268887586&mibextid=qC1gEa

*Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian’s goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier than you ever imagined.

Have an Attitude of Gratitude

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“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough” – Oprah Winfrey

Life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes life can be difficult, complicated and messy.

And, you don’t have the power to always control all the external factors to be exactly how you may want them to be in your life. However, you can choose your thoughts, feelings and words. You can choose your response or reaction to those external factors.

You have a choice when it comes to your perspective and you can decide which mindset you choose to navigate your experiences through, one of lack (fixed) or one of abundance (abundance).

Choose an Attitude of Gratitude.

It’s imperative to find and focus on the good. And allow yourself to soak up all the abundance and wonder life has to offer. It’s so much more fun than complaining and being negative all the time.

Practicing gratitude: Remember to be thankful when you wake up in the morning!

Research shows that practicing and expressing gratitude is associated with improvements to one’s mental well-being, as well as decreased stress and anxiety. Additionally, success in life starts with acknowledging what you already have.

Many successful people share a similar daily ritual that helps them achieve short-term and long-term success: making a list of what they are grateful for.

“What we focus on, what we put our attention on really determines how we feel about that particular day or our life in general,” states Arianna Huffington.

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who wrote about their gratitude over a period of time showed greater signs of emotional well-being compared to people who wrote about negative or neutral life events.

Practicing gratitude trains your brain to feel more positive emotions, appreciate good experiences, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships; all of which contribute to improved mental health.

“Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the more powerful it becomes. And being grateful doesn’t just make other people happy—it makes you happy, too! That’s because it focuses your attention on the positive things in your life, not the negative ones,” explains Oprah Winfrey.

When you begin to focus more on what really matters and choosing to see your reality from the lens of contentment. This allows you to eliminate unnecessary wants that could sabotage your vision and purpose. It might derail your pursuit of true happiness.

It may not feel natural at first to focus on appreciating what you already have, but by faithfully practicing the daily habits of gratitude, you’ll begin to change your conditioning and strengthen the gratitude muscle.

Bottomline: Always live in gratitude for what you have.

“Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.” — Oprah Winfrey

References:

  1. https://www.oprah.com/spirit/oprahs gratitude-journal-oprah-on-gratitude
  2. https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/02/16/how-arianna-huffington-tony-robbins-and-oprah-use-gratitude-to-succeed.html

Improve Your Life

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“The key to happiness is really progress and growth and constantly working on yourself and developing something.” —Lewis Howes

Self-improvement, improvement of one’s mind, character, habits, and life through one’s own efforts. Life only changes as a result of the improvements you make by the actions you take.

Here are 10 Things You Should Do Every Day to improve your life.

1) Get out in nature

You probably seriously underestimate how important this is. (Actually, there’s research that says you do.) Being in nature reduces stress, makes you more creative, improves your memory and may even make you a better person.

2) Exercise

We all know how important this is, but few people do it consistently. Other than health benefits too numerous to mention, exercise makes you smarter, happier, improves sleep, increases libido and makes you feel better about your body. A Harvard study that has tracked a group of men for more than 70 years identified it as one of the secrets to a good life.

3) Spend time with friends and family

Harvard happiness expert Daniel Gilbert identified this as one of the biggest sources of happiness in our lives. Relationships are worth more than you think (approximately an extra $131,232 a year.) Not feeling socially connected can make you stupider and kill you. Loneliness can lead to heart attack, stroke and diabetes. The longest lived people on the planet all place a strong emphasis on social engagement and good relationships are more important to a long life than even exercise. Friends are key to improving your life. Share good news and enthusiatically respond when others share good news with you to improve your relationships. Want to instantly be happier? Do something kind for them.

Every morning send a friend, family member or co-worker an email (or text) to say thanks for something. There’s tons of research showing that over time, this alone – one simple email a day – can make you happier.

Harvard professor Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage explains:

“This is why I often ask managers to write an e-mail of praise or thanks to a friend, family member, or colleague each morning before they start their day’s work—not just because it contributes to their own happiness, but because it very literally cements a relationship.”

4) Express gratitude

Gratitude is more powerful than you realize. In an experiment, people were asked to spend some time helping a student improve a job application cover letter. After they sent their feedback, the student replied with a message, “I just wanted to let you know that I received your feedback on my cover letter,” and asked for help with another one in the next three days. Only 32% of the people helped. When the student added just eight words—“Thank you so much! I am really grateful”—the rate of helping doubled to 66%.

In another experiment, after people helped one student, a different student asked them for help. Being thanked by the first student boosted helping rates from 25% to 55%. The punch line: a little thanks goes a long way, not only for encouraging busy people to help you, but also for motivating them to help others like you.

Plus, by expressing gratitude:

  • It will make you happier.
  • It will improve your relationships.
  • It can make you a better person.
  • It can make life better for everyone around you.

5) Meditate

Meditation can increase happiness, meaning in life, social support and attention span while reducing anger, anxiety, depression and fatigue. Along similar lines, prayer can make you feel better — even if you’re not religious.

6) Get enough sleep

You can’t cheat yourself on sleep and not have it affect you. Being tired actually makes it harder to be happy. Lack of sleep = more likely to get sick. “Sleeping on it” does improve decision making. Lack of sleep can make you more likely to behave unethically. There is such a thing as beauty sleep.

Naps are great too. Naps increase alertness and performance on the job, enhance learning ability and purge negative emotions while enhancing positive ones. Here’s how to improve your naps.

7) Challenge yourself

Learning another language can keep your mind sharp. Music lessons increase intelligence. Challenging your beliefs strengthens your mind. Increasing willpower just takes a little effort each day and it’s more responsible for your success than IQ. Not getting an education or taking advantage of opportunities are two of the things people look back on their lives and regret the most.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway

8) Laugh

People who use humor to cope with stress have better immune systems, reduced risk of heart attack and stroke, experience less pain during dental work and live longer. Laughter should be like a daily vitamin. Just reminiscing about funny moments can improve your relationship. Humor has many benefits.

9) Touch someone

Touching can reduce stress, improve team performance, and help you be persuasive. Hugs make you happier. Intimate contact may help prevent heart attacks and cancer, improve your immune system and extend your life.

10) Be optimistic

Optimism can make you healthier, happier and extend your life. The Army teaches it in order to increase mental toughness in soldiers. Being confident improves performance.

Bonus:

Email a good friend and make plans.

Research says that to keep friendships alive, you should stay in touch every 2 weeks.

Got 14 friends, then you need to be emailing somebody every day and making plans to get together. Research shows the best use of electronic communication, like email or social media, is to facilitate face-to-face interaction:

The results were unequivocal. “The greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely you are,” John T. Cacioppo, author of “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection” says. “The greater the proportion of online interactions, the lonelier you are.” 

Facebook is merely a tool, and like any tool, its effectiveness will depend on its user. “If you use Facebook to increase face-to-face contact,” Cacioppo says, “it increases social capital.” So if social media let you organize a game of football among your friends, that’s healthy. If you turn to social media instead of playing football, however, that’s unhealthy.

“Beginning today, set an intention and a relentless focus on living your life as the greatest person you can be, in all situations.” —Brendon Burchard

References:

  1. https://bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-day-to-imp/
  2. https://bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/make-your-life-better/

Dare to be Daring

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“I believe that the most important single thing, beyond discipline and creativity, is daring to dare.” ~ Maya Angelou

Risk-taking is the act of exposing yourself to potential failure, danger, harm, or loss.

While that might not always sound like a great idea and may push you beyond your personal comfort zone, the adage, “No risk, no reward” rings true regardless of how you feel about potential failures. You have to put yourself out there and move beyond your comfort zone in order to get what you want and to succeed.

History is repeat with those individuals who took the biggest risks and fought against the greatest odds and they were the ones that have been remembered. “You can’t outwit fate by standing on the sidelines placing little sidebets about the outcome of life. Either you wade in and risk everything you have to play the game or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play you can’t win,” states Judith McNaught.

“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” Seneca

Thus, dream boldly and reach for the stars. You, and most people, are more capable and able to live their dreams and achieve the big audacious goals if only they’re willing to believe, focus, work hard, be patient and persist. “It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever,” writes Philip Adams

References:

  1. https://www.inhersight.com/blog/career-development/taking-risks-quotes
  2. https://www.maverickmindsets.com/blog-posts/quotes-on-risk-taking/

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

Mindfulness and Wellness

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“Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We also gain immediate access to our own powerful inner resources for insight, transformation, and healing.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

We need to adopt the practice of mindfulness in every realm of our lives.

Mindfulness is a way of being, of experiencing life, that is alert, awake, and present. It is the quality or trait of being aware of what’s happening, in the present moment, without judging your experience or needing to change it. 

Mindfulness is shown to reduce stress and anxiety, improve focus, and provide many other benefits.

“With this self-awareness, you’re able respond appropriately to the present moment instead of simply reacting with emotion fueled by your past experience.”

Moreover, mindfulness bolsters focus and clarity, can help you better navigate relationships with mindful listening and by reducing reactivity, and it can help you achieve your goals. It can make you feel more optimistic and also kinder and more forgiving toward yourself and others.

Mindfulness helps you respond appropriately to the present moment instead of simply reacting with emotion fueled by your past experience.

By witnessing our thoughts and feelings instead of automatically reacting to them, we disengage from our mental narrative and instead lightly hold our attention on the wider, quieter space beyond the thinking mind.

When mindfulness is paired with physical movement, and especially when done outdoors, the benefits are even greater for your mental, emotional and physical health, from measurable improvement in mood and immune function to better cardiovascular and respiratory function.

Studies show that mindfulness can improve confidence, resiliency, and focus among athletes. One study found that mindfulness helped college athletes sleep better, which improves both performance and mental endurance.

Mindfulness rewires the brain

Neural pathways are the superhighways of the brain—the most direct routes from initial thought to desired result. Mindfulness interrupts this process. Being present and witnessing your thoughts and feelings instead of automatically reacting to them, you disengage from our mental narrative and instead lightly hold your attention on the wider, quieter space beyond the thinking mind.

When you repeatedly disrupt the old reactive pathways and make different choices, over time you lay down new neural pathways, effectively rewiring how your brain reacts to certain situations.

These higher cognitive functions can point you toward more healthful ways of handling a situation. Mindfulness is a practice that really reaches into almost every area of our lives.

Here are just a few of the ways that mindfulness can help:

  1. Boosts serotonin levels and reduces cortisol levels — which can help relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress
  2. Improves heart health
  3. Lowers blood pressure
  4. Reduces chronic pain, muscle tension, and inflammation
  5. Improves sleep quality and duration
  6. Alleviates digestive issues
  7. Improves attention, focus, concentration, and memory
  8. Increases self-compassion and empathy

The best way to understand mindfulness is to experience it for yourself! Mindfulness supports mental health in all the ways mentioned above—helping you to bring your awareness into the present moment, to take a mental and emotional pause, and to gain perspective on your situation instead of letting your habitual thoughts and reactions run the show.

Most experts recommend a daily mindfulness meditation practice of 10 or more minutes. You can also practice mindfulness for any amount of time, even just a minute here and a minute there will help you develop your innate capacity for mindfulness.

References:

  1. https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/mindful-walking
  2. https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/benefits
  3. https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/mindfulness-a-beginners-guide

Two Wolves

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An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

  • One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued,
  • “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Feeding yourself with or focusing on negative thoughts can bring out the worst in yourself.

Conversely, positive thinking fuels the goodness within us. We exude joy, peace, hope, kindness, and love.

Essentially, what you focus your mind and thoughts on grows.

References:

  1. https://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

Mindfulness

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Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

Mindfulness is about fully attending to what’s happening, to what you’re doing, to the space you’re moving through. It is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

The annoying fact that we so often veer from the matter at hand.

Our mind takes flight, we lose touch with our body, and pretty soon we’re engrossed in obsessive thoughts about something that just happened or fretting about the future. And that makes us anxious.

The practice of Mindfulness can help you overcome anxiety, worry and many of the stresses of life.

Mindfulness can be cultivated through proven techniques. Here are some examples:

  1. Seated, walking, standing, and moving meditation (it’s also possible lying down but often leads to sleep);
  2. Short pauses we insert into everyday life;
  3. Merging meditation practice with other activities, such as yoga or sports.

When we’re mindful, we reduce stress, enhance performance, gain insight and awareness through observing our own mind, and increase our attention to others’ well-being.

8 Facts About Mindfulness:

  1. Mindfulness is not obscure or exotic. It’s familiar to us because it’s what we already do, how we already are. It takes many shapes and goes by many names.
  2. Mindfulness is a thing we already have. We have the capacity to be present and we can cultivate these innate qualities with simple practices that are scientifically demonstrated to benefit ourselves and our love ones.
  3. You don’t need to change. Mindfulness recognizes and cultivates the best of who we are as human beings.
  4. Mindfulness has the potential to become a transformative social phenomenon. Here’s why:
  5. Anyone can do it. Mindfulness practice cultivates universal human qualities and does not require anyone to change their beliefs. Everyone can benefit and it’s easy to learn.
  6. It’s a way of living.  Mindfulness is more than just a practice. It brings awareness and caring into everything we do—and it cuts down needless stress. Even a little makes our lives better.
  7. It’s evidence-based. We don’t have to take mindfulness on faith. Both science and experience demonstrate its positive benefits for our health, happiness, work, and relationships.
  8. It sparks innovation. As we deal with our world’s increasing complexity and uncertainty, mindfulness can lead us to effective, resilient, low-cost responses to seemingly intransigent problems.

When we practice mindfulness, we’re practicing the art of creating space for ourselves—space to think, space to breathe, space between ourselves and our reactions.

References:

  1. https://www.mindful.org/how-to-practice-mindfulness/
  2. https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/

Hope is a Way of Thinking…a Super Power

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Hope is a feeling of expectation, a desire or wish for a certain thing to happen.

According to psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles R. Snyder et al. (1991) hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals.

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process.” Brené Brown

In other words, hope is like a snap-shot of a person’s current goal-directed thinking, highlighting the motivated pursuit of goals and the expectation that those goals can be achieved.

Hope helps us remain committed to our goals and motivated to take action towards achieving. Hope gives people a reason to continue fighting and believing that their current circumstances will improve, despite the unpredictable nature of human existence.

As psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles Snyder et al. (2002, p. 269) stated so eloquently:

A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.

While some approaches conceptualize hope in the realm of being, that is acknowledging hope during illness and within palliative care; Snyder et al (1991) emphasized the relevance of hope in the context of doing – that is the capacity to achieve goals.

According to Snyder’s Hope Theory (Snyder, Irving, & Anderson, 1991), hopefulness is a life-sustaining human strength comprised of three distinct but related components:

  1. Goals Thinking – the clear conceptualization of valuable goals.
  2. Pathways Thinking – the capacity to develop specific strategies to reach those goals.
  3. Agency Thinking – the ability to initiate and sustain the motivation for using those strategies.

Hope does not necessarily fade in the face of adversity; in fact hope often endures despite poverty, war and famine. While no one is exempt from experiencing challenging life events, hope fosters an orientation to life that allows a grounded and optimistic outlook even in the most challenging of circumstances.

Practicing optimism has much in common with hope. Both are concerned with a positive future orientation and both assume that good things will generally occur in one’s life.

The difference is that optimism is a positive attitude about a future event that is probable and likely to occur: the optimist expects that life will work out well and as expected (Scheier & Carver, 1993).

On the other hand, being hopeful is regarded as more realistic than optimistism.

The hopeful individual recognizes that life may not always work out as planned, yet maintains positive expectancy directed toward possible outcomes that hold personal significance (Miceli & Castelfranchi, 2002)

Hope is more than just a state of mind; it is an action-oriented strength.

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/hope-therapy/

C.R. Snyder was a fellow of the APA in the divisions of teaching, social and personality, clinical, and health. He worked as the director of the Clinical Psychology Program at the University of Kansas and was  the editor of the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. Snyder passed away in 2006.

The biblical definition of hope is “confident expectation.” Hope means “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen” and it is a cognitive processes or way of thinking.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (NIV)

The Power of “I Am”

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Self-talk, which is also known as your inner voice, are the words and messages you repeatedly say to yourself. These words, whether they are positive or negative, strongly influence how you feel and act in your daily life.

Self talk directly and substantially influences the way you think, behave and feel. Therefore, it’s important to use positive, motivating words that are structured to help you live your best life. For example, some people say destructive and disparaging comments to and about themselves that they would never say to someone else.

What follows the two simple words, “I Am”, will determine what type of life you have and will either bring success or failure in your life, says Pastor Joel Osteen.

Instead of saying negative “I Ams”, – “I am a failure. I am never going to succeed”, say what God says you are. Declare “I am blessed, confident, loved, accepted.”

When you change your “I Ams,” your life will change for the better. The seeds of greatness on the inside will spring forth.

10 Tips to become physically/mentally/emotionally stronger:

  1. Workout and move every day, eat healthier and get adequate sleep
  2. Meditate every day and strive to live a purpose driven life
  3. Accept new challenges or try something new…keep growing.
  4. Take some time to reflect and to be mindful…and spend time reading everyday
  5. Develop positive self-talk (affirmations) and stop negative self-talk
  6. Get comfortable with and learn from rejection and failure
  7. Have a gratitude attitude daily and keep a gratitude journal
  8. Be kind to yourself and others
  9. Stop comparing yourself to others
  10. Surround yourself with positive people

References:

  1. https://www.joelosteen.com/how-to-watch/Messages/2018/04/09/20/26/The%20Power%20of%20I%20Am
  2. https://positivewordsresearch.com/thoughts-matter/