Tag Archives: Emotional Well-being

Value Time Over Money

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“It’s essential that you place a high value on your time.”

Happiness is more than simply a positive mood, according to Psychology Today. It is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, one with a sense of meaning, purpose and deep contentment. Happiness encompasses feelings of satisfaction and c. involves creating strong relationships and helping others. It requires also uncomfortable or painful experiences—to continue to learn, grow, and evolve.

Coincidentally, emotional well-being refers to the emotional quality of an individual’s everyday experience—the frequency and intensity of experiences of joy, stress, sadness, anger, and affection that make one’s life pleasant or unpleasant.

Time and time again, research has shown that not only do you need a finite amount of money to be happy, but that prioritizing things like time, relationships, hobbies and family may actually lead to long-term well-being. Research shows that the finite sweet spot for yearly income is between $60,000 and $95,000 a year, not a high six-figure salary. Earnings above $95,000 do not necessarily equate to increased well-being.

A study published by Science Advances in 2019 found that recent grads who valued time over money, in which they took jobs that were less demanding but also paid less money, were generally happier.

People who prioritize money are generally driven by extrinsic motivations like shopping, which bring little personal satisfaction, researchers concluded.

On the other hand, people who prioritize time are typically intrinsically motivated, focusing on hobbies, relationships and cultivating gratitude instead. Intrinsic motivations build autonomy and purpose, which lead to long-term happiness, the researchers concluded.

Although wealth offers the potential for people to spend their time in happier ways, such as by living in a more expensive apartment closer to the office, survey data suggest that wealthier individuals often spend more of their time engaging in activities that are less enjoyable, such as commuting. Research suggests that rising incomes are linked to an increased sense of time scarcity.

Takeaway

Happy people live with purpose and value time over money. They find joy in lasting relationships, working toward their goals, and living according to their values. They tend not to garner happiness from material goods or luxury vacations. They’re fine with the simple pleasures of life and cultivating gratitude.

People who cultivate gratitude tend to better appreciate and enjoy life, as gratitude creates satisfaction that is intrinsic. To practice gratitude, reflect on what you’re grateful for each morning to shape the rest of the day, keep a gratitude journal, and reframe negative experiences by finding something within them for which you’re grateful, and can learn and grow.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness
  2. https://www.pnas.org/content/107/38/16489.full
  3. https://www.synchronybank.com/blog/millie/money-and-happiness/
  4. https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/5/9/eaax2615.full
  5. https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/5-things-science-learned-about-happiness-last-year.html
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness/how-find-happiness

Retiree Emotional Well-being

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Retirement presents some unique emotional challenges.

There are significant emotional challenges of retirement. Knowing how to deal with retirement emotionally can be just as important as, or more important than, financial preparation.

Most people spend the majority of their lives working to cultivate a career and raise a family. It’s human nature to take solace in the daily routine that you developed, but when you reach retirement you may find that it takes some time to get used to your new life after leaving the workforce and/ or becoming an empty nester.

https://twitter.com/kathrynpeyton/status/1215464171912884224

If you’re having a hard time adjusting to retirement, you’re not alone. A survey of 1,000 people ages 60 to 73 shows that about two-thirds of Baby Boomer participants said they had difficulties in transitioning from their primary profession to retirement. The survey also identified the top reasons that participants had trouble adapting to life in retirement:

  • 37% said that they missed the daily social interactions they would have with work colleagues.
  • 32% had trouble adjusting to a new daily routine.
  • 22% found it difficult to find ways to create meaning and purpose in their life after work.

The good news is that eventually more than half of the participants found that they adjusted to these changes rather quickly, and 97% reported being “somewhat” or “rather” satisfied in their retirement.

The key to adjusting to these life changes and living a fulfilling life after work is emotionally preparing for the transition years and decades prior to reaching retirement age.

Deal with Retirement Emotionally

Though retirement is often seen as a time to slow down, this doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to remain active or find meaning outside of your professional life. And, there are ways to cope with the emotional challenges of retirement:

  1. Find activities you enjoy outside of work. – Retirement is the time for you to do the things that you enjoy most. Volunteer your time at your favorite local organization or take up a new hobby. Staying active is a great way to find meaning in life after work.
  2. Begin to expand your relationship base. – Chances are, many of your friendships were formed in the workplace. Though it’s great to keep in touch with former colleagues, try to develop new friendships. Friends are the key to staying connected and maintaining your well-being.
  3. Include your family in your pre-retirement plans. – Once you’re retired, you will have more time to spend with your spouse. Actively include him or her in your pre-retirement plans. Have a conversation about what you would like life after retirement to look like and discuss how you can help support one another.
  4. Have a solid financial plan. – Not having enough resources to support yourself after retirement can add stress to your life. One way to make sure that you are emotionally prepared for the transition is to make sure that you have a financial plan in place that provides a quality of life for yourself in retirement. 

Change in life status is exciting and can be positive if you’re prepared.

Mindset, attitudes, behaviors and habits.

Retirement can mean looking forward to a simpler, less stressful life, free of commuting, demanding boss, meetings and deadlines.

Good health care, combined with recreational and fitness opportunities, are critical attributes of retirement of a healthy retirement. Good health, combined with a moderate cost of living, are critical since 96% of retirees—and 99% of those age 75 and over—say that health is more important than wealth to live well in retirement, according to the survey.

Yet health and wealth are very intertwined. People with financial resources can invest more in their health, and those in poor health have a harder time enjoying what their money can buy.

Tackling tough financial issues, such as overspending, debt and “having more month left than money available”, are a great way to drive change. Better yet, it’s always a good idea to learn more about financial management matters, getting out of debt and becoming a discipline saver for the future and invest for the long term.

To retire with financial security and sense of confidence, most financial experts recommend a certain liquid asset level, a mostly paid-off mortgage, and multiple streams of income. Furthermore, they observe that:

  1. Retirees are feeling increasingly confident about their ability to maintain a comfortable lifestyle without running out of money. And, that is the primary goal for retirement.
  2. Retirees want a physically active, healthy and vibrant lifestyle.
  3. Retirees want to be emotionally engaged and socially fulfilling lifestyle.

Find happiness in retirement

Finding happiness and contentment in retirement requires retiring with core pursuits and sense of purpose. What’s paramount to an happy retirement and life is having multiple activities/ projects / endeavors that you’re passionate about participating.

These are activities (projects or endeavors) that excite and fulfill; hobbies on steroids and things you look forward to. Examples are learning an instrument, learning a language, and enjoying golf, biking, yoga, walking, hiking. Wes Moss, a managing partner at Capital Investment Advisors in Atlanta and author of three personal-finance books and host of the Money Matters weekly radio call-in show, commissioned Georgia Tech University in Atlanta do a statistical analysis retirees’ activities and found that “happy retirees have 3.6 core pursuits. Unhappy retirees have 1.9 core pursuits”.

When you have a long life expectancy, you can spend the first sixty years working for you and your family, then the next forty years working for the greater good and contributing to make the world a better place. Working for the greater food gives you a sense of greater purpose. One in five Americans downright hate their jobs. Compare this to the results that show that three in five could “take it or leave it”.

The Happiness Retirees on the Block (HROB) create their happiness by engaging in a long series of core pursuits — activities, projects and endeavors — that make a difference in their lives. Your core pursuits can lead you to a more fulfilling future while adding life to your years. Core pursuits can lead to a more fulfilling future while adding happy life to your years.

Get going, Get growing, Continue learning

Sparse diet, taking the stairs and take on activities that feed their soul and focus on you and the greater good. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but a lack of curiosity is what kills the happy retiree.

References;

  1. https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2015/02/03/baby-boomers-retirement-emotional/22799155/
  2. https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/retirement-planning-the-emotional-toll-of-transitioning-to-retirement
  3. https://www.barrons.com/articles/you-can-probably-retire-earlier-than-you-think-says-personal-finance-guru-wes-moss-51599870173
  4. https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewbiggs/2020/02/19/fact-check-are-41-of-retirees-economically-insecure/amp/

Sir Christopher Wren and The Story of Three Bricklayers

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Mindset affects just about everything–including your attitude. Your attitude is based upon your beliefs. Beliefs affect your decisions. Decisions affect your behavior, behavior affect your actions, actions affect your results.

After the Great Fire of London destroyed much of the medieval city of London in 1666, Sir Christopher Wren designed new churches and supervised the reconstruction of some of London’s most important buildings. His name is synonymous with London architecture.

He produced ambitious plans for rebuilding the whole area but they were rejected, partly because property owners insisted on keeping the sites of their destroyed buildings.

Wren did design fifty-one (51) new city churches, as well as the new St Paul’s Cathedral. In 1669, he was appointed surveyor of the royal works which effectively gave him control of all government building in the country. He was knighted in 1673.

Story of Three Bricklayers

We see things as we are; not as they are

The story of three bricklayers is a true story. After the great fire of 1666 that leveled London, the world’s most famous architect, Sir Christopher Wren, was commissioned to rebuild St Paul’s Cathedral.

One day in 1671, Sir Wren observed three bricklayers on a scaffold, one crouched, one half-standing and one standing tall, working very hard and fast.

  • To the first bricklayer, Christopher Wren asked the question, “What are you doing?” to which the bricklayer replied, “I’m a bricklayer. I am cutting this stone to a certain size and shape.” He was just doing a task
  • The second bricklayer, responded, “I’m a builder. I’m building a wall. I’m working hard laying bricks to feed my family.” He was just earning a living
  • But the third brick layer, the most productive of the three, when asked the question, “What are you doing?” replied with a gleam in his eye, “I’m a cathedral builder. I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build St. Paul’s Cathedral for The Almighty.” He was doing his small part of building a great cathedral.

The lessons from the story of three bricklayers:

  • Big Picture Thinking – Being able to see the end result and how your work contributes to that end.
  • Attitude – A positive attitude and pride in what you are doing will show up in your work and your motivation.
  • Connection to the Organization’s Mission – Employees who are rightly connected to the organization’s mission, vision, values, and goals are happier, more engaged, and more productive employees.

The Power of Purpose and Calling

The story of the three bricklayers is also a metaphor on the power of purpose, where the “cathedral builder,” demonstrates a personal expression of purpose that transforms his attitude and gives a higher meaning to his work. Another term for purpose is “calling.” For the first bricklayer, building the wall was a job. For the second bricklayer it was an occupation. For the third bricklayer, it was a calling.

A calling reflects our universal need to matter, to influence, and make a difference in the world around us.  Victor Frankel made this clear in his book, The Meaning of Life.  He wrote about how some people survived the holocaust, but so many didn’t.  One of the things he identified was those who had a purpose or reason to continue to live that was beyond themselves tended to survive, while those who were focused primarily on themselves did not.  Those who survived found some meaning in their painful circumstances.  The meaning they found was in caring for and helping others in this horrible experience.

References:

  1. https://www.thoughtco.com/sir-christopher-wren-rebuilder-of-london-177429
  2. http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/wren_christopher.shtml
  3. https://sacredstructures.org/mission/the-story-of-three-bricklayers-a-parable-about-the-power-of-purpose

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

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“It’s never the situation that’s at fault. It’s the way we choose to view it. How we see our lives is how we live our lives.” Nicolas Cole

Many people, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. They believe that because they were unsuccessful in the past, they will always be unsuccessful going forward. In other words, they continue to see a barrier or obstacle to their success in their heads, even when no barrier or obstacle exists between where they are in their life and where they want to go.

Yet, no matter how hard the world tries to hold you back and convince you that you’re not worthy of achieving the life you desire, it’s imperative that you always continue to believe that your goals and what you want to achieve in life are possible. Believing you can become successful and you can achieve your wildest dreams and goals are the most important and critical steps in actually achieving them.

Taking accountability.

The reason why so many people struggle and fail at achieving their wildest dreams and goals is that they take the easy path and blame others for how they feel, for their current life, or for their personal issues.

Instead of “manning (or womanning)-up”, they default to blaming their parents, their childhood, or their bad luck for the reality they find themselves.

The key to achieve success and accomplish your goals is to take accountability. To shift your perspective from “blame” to “ownership.” By taking ownership and accepting accountability, you are allowing yourself to open up and to see opportunities to learn and grow.

Focus On The Lesson, Not The Problem

Many people fail to realize that it’s the journey that’s most important, not the end of the journey or reaching the destination. You are “successful” when you are walking your path, always learning, always growing. You are “doing what you love” when you see every moment as an opportunity.

It’s on you to discover the opportunities to grow and learn, and to embrace every moment as an opportunity.  Regardless of where you are in life, or what you’re doing, there are lessons to be learned. And unless you can discover those lessons and embrace your own journey, you will never actually reach the state of feeling “successful”–in the sense that you are learning and growing and effortlessly becoming a better version of yourself.

Lessons Are Everywhere. It’s On You To Find Them.

It is important to train and to condition yourself to always find the positive. Create moments of growth and opportunity. Growth is the result of how you utilize your environment and the people around you, and create opportunities for yourself.

The key to shifting your perspective is to remember what you’re aiming for. For example: A job where you perform mundane tasks is going to continue being mundane if you just see it as “just a job.” But a job where you perform mundane tasks that could be seen as a way to learn skills you need in order to one day do what it is you truly want to do, is no longer “just a job.” It’s an opportunity to learn.

You should recognize that what you look for is what you tend to see. So, instead of looking for an outcome that is negative or some flaw, look for something positive that can be beneficial or add to your. Shift your search for happiness and you can help create what you most desire.

Replace negative thoughts with something more positive. Practice focusing on the positive thoughts. The more you practice, the easier it will be for these thoughts to become second nature. Strive to say at least three positive thoughts about yourself each day, as it can make you feel happier and more confident during the day and help banish negative thoughts. Remember that perspectives can change, so work towards striving for positivity.

In the story above, nothing physical or tangible changed with your circumstances. The only thing that changed was your perspective.  And that makes all the difference.

So, when you’re looking at what’s going on around you and wonder how to escape the negativity and dark feelings. Maybe it’s not your circumstances that need to change—it’s your perspective and mindset.

References:

  1. https://www.marcandangel.com/2013/05/21/4-short-stories-change-the-way-you-think/
  2. https://www.inc.com/nicolas-cole/change-your-perspective-change-your-life.html

COVID-19 Self-Care Coach

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During times of stress, it’s especially important to set time aside for self-care.

The world is facing an unprecedented medical crisis. During these stressful times, you may become so overwhelmed with work, daily life or caring for your family that you forget to take care of yourself. Remember, you must take care of yourself first so you can continue to care for others. Thus, it’s important to get into a good self-care routine to prevent stress and to enhance your emotional well-being and mental health.

There are many stressors in life such as not knowing what might happen next to your family members, friends or your community during the COVID-19 pandemic. “Those are the key ingredients to creating PTSD: having stressors where it’s uncertain, uncontrolled, and unpredictable,” says Karestan Koenen, a psychologist at Harvard University’s T. H. Chan School of Public Health

Body, mind and spirit

Your mind and body are connected. You deserve care that supports your total health — mind, body, and spirit. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, or other mental or emotional issues that interfere with your daily life, there is help.

The National Center for PTSD created an app called Covid Coach, a tool designed to help people manage stress, reduce anxiety, for meditation and improved sleep. And, it provides information about coping strategies. It offers breathing exercises and other guidance for tackling loneliness and irritability. It lets users track their anxiety and moods. It’s loaded with resources for getting help with problems like substance abuse or domestic violence. It’s available for free in the Apple and Android app stores.

Set a Personal Goal

One effective tool of the COVID Coach relates to setting a personal goal. Setting a personal goal can be helpful to ensure you’re making time for yourself. For example, you might set a goal to connect with a friend this week by phone or video, make yourself a favorite meal, or do whatever it is that you enjoy that you can do for yourself.

Stay home during the holiday season

As COVID-19 cases continue to rise, many public health officials stress why not traveling and not gathering with family and friends is the safest choice for the holidays.

Throughout this challenging time, your health and safety should remain your top priority. Protect yourself and your loved ones with the help of this COVID Coach.

It’s hard to know where you’re going if you don’t know where you are.

References:

  1. https://www.wired.com/story/this-mental-health-app-is-tailor-made-for-your-pandemic-woes/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=onsite-share&utm_brand=wired&utm_social-type=earned
  2. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/52eb2689e4b09fc88a61dbda/t/5fd8fa0c3843d52beda31b68/1608055314773/30DaysofSelfCarewithCOVIDCoach.pdf

Emotional Well-Being and Gratitude During COVID-19

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“Your personal experiences make up maybe 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world but maybe 80% of how you think the world works… We’re all biased to our own personal history.” Morgan Housel, Ideas That Changed My Life

COVID-19 Stressing You Out

According to the CDC, everyone reacts differently to stressful situations such as a pandemic and lock down. As Americans experience the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic such as worry about job loss, concern for your health or that of a loved one, the need to social distance, confining yourself to your home or apartment, changing your routine, spending more screen time than normal, it’s important to practice some degree of emotional self-care.

Finding ways to practice self-care can help reduce your stress and enhance your emotional well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. Healthy ways to cope with stress include:

  • Taking daily walks
  • Practicing meditation
  • Making time to pray and to express gratitude
  • Knowing where and how to get help
  • Taking breaks from watching, reading, or listening to the sensationalized news stories and coverage about COVID19, protests, and political rancor
  • Reading novels and writing in journals
  • Learning a new skill or hobby
  • Eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep
  • Avoiding or reducing eating processed foods, foods high in refined sugars and carbs, and fried foods
  • Exercising and prioritizing time to unwind by doing activities you enjoy
  • Connecting with others (while social physical distancing measures are in place, consider connecting online, through social media, or by phone or mail)

Gratitude

Gratitude is recognizing the “value for favorable things or positive life experiences for which we did not actively work towards or ask for”, according to Sadhguru. Gratitude is important because it helps us see a world that is much bigger than ourselves. When we have gratitude, we can help ourselves and each other grow personally or professionally.

Psychologists find that, over time, feeling grateful boosts happiness and fosters both physical and psychological health, even among those already struggling with mental health problems. Ways you can foster gratitude by keeping a journal to write about the little joys of daily life or by writing down “three good things” that have gone well for you and identify the cause. Additionally, you can also foster gratitude by writing thank-you notes to others or going out of your way to be kind to others, according to Psychology Today Magazine.

Sources:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/202004/overcoming-depression-and-desperation-in-the-time-covid-19
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gratitude