Tag Archives: Gratitude

Systems are Best for Long Term Success

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“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.” James Clear

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, spoke at a conference I attended about ‘goals and system’. During his insightful talk, he explained that “Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. ”

Furthermore, he said that, “I began to realize that my results had very little to do with the goals I set and nearly everything to do with the systems I followed.” To explain, he writes that “If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal might be to build a million-dollar business. Your system is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns.”

Moreover, goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress and reaching your destination.

Goals can become too limiting, says Scott Adams, the nationally syndicated cartoonist of Dilbert. Systems, in contrast, habits are things that people regularly do and that increase the odds that an event ends up creating an experience that leads to an eventual success, even though that success might not be immediately apparent.

A system, says Adams, contributes to a positive attitude that widens a person’s field of perception, which he contends is what makes some people luckier than others in that they can see more opportunities.

Build a system for getting 1% better every day.

In Clear’s opinion, “a handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”

https://twitter.com/atomichabitss/status/1498825041835823105

According to Clear, several problems arise when you focus on goals and ignore the system, such as:

Problem #1: Winners and losers have the same goals.

Successful and unsuccessful people often share the same goals, thus the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers. It wasn’t the goal of winning the Tour de France that propelled the British Cyclists to the top of the sport, states Clear. Presumably, they had wanted to win the race every year before—just like every other professional team. The goal had always been there. It was only when they implemented a system of continuous small improvements that they achieved a different outcome.

Problem #2: Achieving a goal is only a momentary change.

To truly have meaningful and long-lasting change, you must change your habits that led to the problem or challenge in the first place. Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. That’s the counterintuitive thing about improvement. You think you need to change your results, but the results are not the problem. What you really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

Problem #3: Goals restrict your happiness.

The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. Happiness should not be just something for your future self to enjoy.

Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success.

A systems-first mentality provides the antidote. When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.

Problem #4: Goals are at odds with long-term progress.

Finally, a goal-oriented mind-set can create a “yo-yo” effect. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.

Fall in love with systems

James Clear surmises that “goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.”

The next time you think about a goal, something you deeply desire to achieve, think of the system that you will follow — and how often — in order to reach it.

References:

  1. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
  2. https://www.cioinsight.com/careers/dilbert-creator-focus-on-systems-not-goals/
  3. https://jamesclear.com/good-habits
  4. https://medium.com/swlh/thinking-in-systems-not-goals-2b9a4105d0d3

James Clear is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits.

“The most useful form of patience is persistence. Patience implies waiting for things to improve on their own. Persistence implies keeping your head down and continuing to work when things take longer than you expect.” ~James Clear

Attitude of Gratitude

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“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” – Socrates

Gratitude is good for your body, your mind, your wealth, and your emotional well-being. Yet, Americans usually equate happiness to having more in life. And by more, think of monetary or physical possessions — a bigger house, larger bank account, more clothes, the latest gadgets, a faster car. Yet, once you acquire more shiny brand new things, rarely do you find yourself any happier and satisfied.

Instead of acquiring more stuff, the Greek philosopher Socrates taught his fellow Greek citizens to be happy with less. In other words, enjoy that pair of jeans you love so much that you wear it all the time, instead of worrying about the latest fad designer jeans at the boutique that costs two weeks pay.

Simply put, gratitude changes your focus to what you have. Since, it doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t appreciate it! Without gratitude, you’ll never feel successful, no matter how much you have and own. So regardless of your level of wealth and financial success, practicing gratitude is essential. You get more of what you focus on…what you focus on expands!

According to the Harvard Medical School, gratitude is: “a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives … As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power” 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” Confucius

Every day won’t be perfect, but focusing on what we are grateful for tends to wash away feelings of anger, sorrow and negativity. And there is added benefits to improving your mindset, attitude and outcome. Recent studies show that being grateful and expressing gratitude leads to better physical and emotional health.

“An attitude of gratitude means making it a habit to express thankfulness and appreciation in all parts of your life, on a regular basis, for both the big and small things alike,” according to Lewis Howe, author of the inspirational book, The School of Greatness. “If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.”

Thus, you must look throughout your day for things and activities to be grateful for, and something to be grateful for will always show up. Just because gratitude is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

Do not lose sight of being grateful for simply having a challenge or mountain to climb (it beats the alternative). Only when you began feeling gratitude for the opportunity to serve, to learn and to grow will a shift in attitude and happiness happen.

You can view gratitude as an emotional muscle that will grow and strengthen with intentional use. Make gratitude a habit by starting a gratitude journal, incorporating gratitude into your morning routine practice, or perhaps by having a gratitude accountability partner whom you can email daily.

“Everything — peace of mind, happiness, getting the most out of what you have — springs off of the word ‘gratitude’…True gratitude is based on all things — success and failure. If I’m truly grateful, I’m going to maintain that regardless of the outcome. Otherwise, it’s not gratitude.” Cael Sanderson, Head Wrestling Coach, Pennsylvania State University

Gratitude can be made a habit that you can practice every morning. According to motivational speaker Tony Robbins, gratitude is a ritual that can be broken down into three, three-minute sections, which can provide structure for living a life of gratitude. The three sections are:

  • First three minutes, think of three things you’re grateful for. Tony suggests that one of these be very simple—like how beautiful the sunset was last night or the great night’s sleep you just got.
  • During the next three minutes, focus on creating gratitude by imagining an inner presence that can heal and solve any obstacles in your life.
  • For the last three minutes, identify three things you’re absolutely going to make happen for yourself—what he calls his “three to thrive.”

Imagine what it would feel like to complete these tasks, and “see it as though it’s already been done,” Robbins said.

Enjoying less and appreciating the things you own are not difficult. All it takes is a change of mindset and an attitude of gratitude. Since, gratitude makes dealing with the difficult things and experiences easier. So be grateful when things are challenging, when you don’t feel like it, or when you fall short of achieving your goal.

To become more grateful, there are several everyday tips for living a life of gratitude, according to Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading scientific expert on gratitude:

  • Keep a Gratitude Journal. Establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things you enjoy. Setting aside time on a daily basis to recall moments of gratitude associated with ordinary events, your personal attributes, or valued people in your life gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life theme of gratefulness.
  • Remember the Bad. To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember the hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.
  • Ask Yourself Three Questions. Utilize the meditation technique known as Naikan, which involves reflecting on three questions: “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”
  • Learn Prayers of Gratitude. In many spiritual traditions, prayers of gratitude are considered to be the most powerful form of prayer, because through these prayers people recognize the ultimate source of all they are and all they will ever be.
  • Use Visual Reminders. Because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. Often times, the best visual reminders are other people.
  • Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude. Research shows that making an oath to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own gratitude vow, which could be as simple as “I vow to count my blessings each day,” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
  • Watch your Language. Grateful people have a particular linguistic style that uses the language of gifts, givers, blessings, blessed, fortune, fortunate, and abundance. In gratitude, you should not focus on how inherently good you are, but rather on the inherently good things that others have done on your behalf.

It’s vitally essential to live your life and build your wealth based in gratitude. With gratitude comes the realization that we get more than we deserve and we’re content with what we have, received and accomplished.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Research has shown that there is a strong link between happiness and gratitude. And there is a lot in your life to be grateful for! Do you want to be happy and wealthy? Stop waiting for happiness to knock on your door. Go out and make a friend or two. Stop thinking others have it better than you do.

Stop looking at what others have and start being grateful for what you have. You probably have a roof over your head and food in your stomach every day. The average world wide salary in 2012 was $18,000, adjusted for purchasing power. If you’re pulling in $19,000 you’re above average and, therefore, in terms of the entire world, rich. Celebrate your new found rich status, by inviting a couple of friends over. It will make you happier.

You must be grateful and love your life whether you’re winning or losing; whether you’re successful or unsuccessful; and whether you’ve built wealth or failed to build wealth. Just be grateful for the opportunity and your life. 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melodie Beattie, Author of ‘Co-dependant No More’

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/
  2. https://celador.net/the-secret-of-happiness-e611f6471b8f
  3. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-have-an-attitude-of-gratitude_b_8644102
  4. https://partners4prosperity.com/thank-and-grow-rich-gratitude-and-wealth/
  5. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good/
  6. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/robert_emmons
  7. https://onwardstate.com/2020/05/08/4-lessons-i-learned-from-cael-sanderson-after-covering-him-for-4-years/

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melodie Beattie, Author of ‘Co-dependant No More’

Building Resilience

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“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

The author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life” and “Good Anxiety” explains how to harness the power of anxiety into unexpected gifts.

We are living in the age of anxiety. There are about 40 million Americans— or 18% of the population—suffering from clinical anxiety disorders today.

Anxiety is a situation that often makes you feel as if you are locked into an endless cycle of stress, uncertainty, and worry. But, there are ways to leverage your anxiety to help you solve problems and fortify your wellbeing, explains Dr. Wendy Suzuki, PhD, a neuroscientist and professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University. Thus, instead of seeing anxiety strictly as a problem or curse to dread, you recognize it as the unique gift that it is.

Dr. Suzuki has discovered a paradigm-shifting truth about anxiety: yes, it is uncomfortable, but it is also essential for your survival. In fact, anxiety is a key component of your ability to live optimally. Every emotion you experience has an evolutionary purpose, and anxiety is designed to draw your attention to vulnerability. If you simply approach it as something to avoid, get rid of, or dampen, you actually miss an opportunity to improve your life. Listening to your anxieties from a place of curiosity, and without fear or worry, can actually guide you onto a path that leads to inner peace and joy.

Drawing on her own struggles and based on cutting-edge research, Dr. Suzuki has developed strategies for managing unwarranted anxiety and exercises you can do to build your resiliency and mental strength. The exercises include:

Visualize positive outcomes

At the beginning or at the end of each day, think through all those uncertain situations currently in your life — both big and small. Now take each of those and visualize the most optimistic and amazing outcome to the situation. Not just the “okay” outcome, but the best possible one you could imagine.

This process of visualizing “the most optimistic and amazing outcome” should build the muscle of expecting the positive outcome and might even open up ideas for what more you might do to create that outcome of your dreams.

Turn anxiety into progress

Our brain’s plasticity is what enables us to be resilient during challenging times — to learn how to calm down, reassess situations, reframe our thoughts and make smarter decisions.

Reach out

Asking for help, staying connected to friends and family, and actively nurturing supportive, encouraging relationships not only enables you to keep anxiety at bay, but also shores up the sense that you’re not alone.

The belief and feeling that you are surrounded by people who care about you is crucial during times of enormous stress — when you need to fall back on your own resilience in order to persevere and maintain your well-being.

When we are suffering from loss or other forms of distress, it’s natural to withdraw. Yet you also have the power to push yourself into the loving embrace of those who can help take care of you.

Practice positive self-tweeting

Lin-Manual Miranda sends out tweets at the beginning and end of each day. The tweets are essentially upbeat little messages that are funny, singsongy and generally delightful.

If you watch him, you’ll see an inherently resilient, mentally strong and optimistic person.

For you to be that resilient, productive and creative, it’s essential to come up with positive reminders. You don’t necessarily need to share them. The idea is to boost yourself up at the beginning and at the end of the day.

This can be difficult for those who automatically beat themselves up. Instead, think about what your biggest supporter in life — a spouse, partner, sibling, friend, mentor or parent — would tell you, and then tweet, remind or say it to yourself.

Although popular science continues to suggests that persistent, low-level anxiety is detrimental to your health, performance, and wellbeing, but if you could learn how to harness the brain activation underlying your anxiety and make it work for you, you could turn anxiety into superpower, says Dr. Suzuki.

Her research and her own experience demonstrate that this paradigm shift from bad to good anxiety can accelerate focus and productivity, boosts performance, lead to happiness, create compassion, and foster more creativity.

Twenty-five positive quotes and reminders to build resilience:

  1. You’re awesome, Bro.
  2. You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you!
  3. Believe in yourself; have faith in your abilities!
  4. Everyday, in every way, you’re getting better and better, dude!
  5. “Great minds discuss ideas.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  6. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” Robert Collier
  7. “Be patient with yourself.” Stephen Covey
  8. “People will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
  9. “Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu
  10. “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” Andrew Carnegie
  11. “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” Denis Waitley
  12. “Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha
  13. “The secret of health for both mind and body…is to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha
  14. “Happiness…is appreciating what you have.”
  15. “We make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill
  16. “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty.” Charles Dickens
  17. “He is a wise man who rejoices for the things which he has.” Epictetus
  18. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” Oprah Winfrey
  19. “Open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift–today.” Steve Maraboli
  20. “This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it.”
  21. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brené Brown
  22. “Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” T. Harv Eker
  23. “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin
  24. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal.” Thomas Jefferson
  25. “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” Theodore Roosevelt

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs–even though checkered by failure–than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/31/do-these-exercises-every-day-to-build-resilience-and-mental-strength-says-neuroscientist.html
  2. https://www.wendysuzuki.com
  3. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/top-350-inspiring-motivational-quotes-to-tweet-and-share.html

Be Grateful

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“Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions. Once expressed, it changes attitude, brightens outlook, and broadens our perspective.” Germany Kent

Be grateful for everything you have. This can make you happier and more attuned with the peace and abundance of the world. It helps you find more joy in what you currently have and helps you manifest what you desire more easily, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer said, “Be in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. Be thankful for the storms as well as the smooth sailing. What is the lesson or gift in what you are experiencing right now? Find your joy not in what’s missing in your life but in how you can serve.”

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving your mental health to boosting your relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins—like the bus showing up on time, a person holding the door open for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning.

Robert Emmons, psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Davis, explains that there are two key components of practicing gratitude:

  1. “We affirm the good things we’ve received
  2. We acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness.”

Research has linked gratitude with a wide range of positive health and emotional well-being benefits, including strengthening your immune system and improving sleep, feeling optimistic and experiencing more peace and pleasure, being more helpful and generous. 

But there are very easy actions you can take to practice gratitude: At the end of the day, identity three things you are grateful for and write them down in a special gratitude journal. As you start to develop the habit and a heightened awareness of all you have to be grateful for, you can expand the number of things you try to observe at the end of the day.

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” Brene Brown

“Gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being, it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life, which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality”, says Jen Sincero, success coach and author of “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”.

Taking a moment to be thankful and grateful for the good things in life can help you cultivate a healthy work life, manage stress and develop a deeper connection to people, especially in tough situations.

Gratitude is a positive quality that allows you to celebrate the present moment, set aside negative emotions and past experiences, reduce stress, and improve your self-worth and life.

May your day be filled with gratitude and good things.

References:

  1. https://www.gobankingrates.com/money/financial-planning/9-new-years-resolutions-successful-people-make-year/
  2. https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/
  3. https://thestrive.co/gratitude-quotes/
  4. https://gratitudehabitat.com/2015/09/living-in-gratitude-appreciating-dr-wayne-dyer/

Positive and Optimistic Mindset for Healthy Aging

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It’s essential to look ahead with optimism and a positive outlook as you age.

With advance aging, you should adopt an optimistic and positive mind-set and focus on new discoveries and experiences. It’s more important than ever as you age to follow a healthy lifestyle, remain positive and passionate about life, stay connected with family and friends, and look forward to better days ahead.

You must consistently attempt to find things that continue to be meaningful and engaging. These meaningful activities can include traveling around the world, spiritual pursuits, hobbies such as reading or painting, lifelong learning, or spending more time with loved ones. Experts suggest planning for purposeful activities before transitioning to retirement, and to embrace this change and follow where their passions lie.

Try to keep the mind active by challenging yourself to learn something new every week or month, or try something you’ve always wanted to.

Embrace thoughts such as, “As I age, I’ll keep learning,” says Vonetta Dotson, an associate professor of psychology and gerontology at Georgia State University. Feeding yourself a rich diet of positive messages can in itself brighten your outlook.

“Anytime we do something and try new things, it helps to reinforce this feeling of positivity,” Dotson said. “And keep those social connections. When you socialize, your focus is diverted. When you’re by yourself, you may ruminate” about your current and future physical and mental deterioration.”

Better yet, learning something new enables your brain to form new pathways. This helps you stave off gloomy thoughts about the aging process.

“By engaging in rewarding and meaningful activities and staying mentally active, we can retrain our brains,” said Kevin Manning, a neuropsychologist and associate professor of psychiatry at UConn Health. “These activities can enhance our self-efficacy, lessen fears of decline and sharpen our cognitive functioning.”

Ideally, passion drives you to take action. Why sign up for a course on current events or foreign affairs if you find the state of the world dispiriting and you dread consuming the news?

To channel your activity in a more uplifting direction, set short-term goals. If you’re learning a musical instrument, aim to perform a simple piece in one month.

When you embrace a purpose that gives you something to do that’s meaningful,” it focuses your efforts and displaces fears of aging. It’s one of several keys to healthy aging.

The key to healthy aging is a physically, socially, mentally and spiritually active lifestyle and mindset.

References:

  1. https://www.barrons.com/articles/depression-aging-retirement-51640306803
  2. https://vailhealthfoundation.org/news/10-tips-for-healthy-aging-month-2021/
  3. https://healthprep.com/aging/secrets-to-aging-gracefully/

Life on the Edge

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“As you get older, the days go by quicker and you need to make the time count.” Mary Peachin, Octogenarian

As you age, it becomes more important to “live each day right to the limit”, states octogenarian Mary Peachin, in Costco Connection magazine, September 2021, Members Connection. Peachin has “walk the talk” and lived her life as a self proclaim world-traveling, deep sea diving adrenaline junkie. “If your body aches, you ignore it and keep on trucking”, she preaches.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, do not take no for an answer. You should expect and intend to live a life well lived and always believe the best is yet to come

“Life is too short not to enjoy it.”

Make your life happen and take action today. Be amongst the few who dared to live their dreams. Live your life in such a way that there is no regret.

Time is short; live every day for a higher purpose. Let’s invest the limited time we have on your life’s purpose and mission. Do not focus on your problems and challenges; instead focus on purpose and destination.

Life is brief and it passes quickly. The average American male lives to be 70 years 4 months. The average American female lives 70 years 4 months. To live life to its fullest, it is not the quantity of your life, but the quality.

Time is running out for all of us.

“Your job will not take care of you when your elderly and sick, your friends and family will.”

  1. Select a few friends to be close to in your life and communicate and strengthen your relationship with them
  2. Get over those who disappoint you and refuse to let those people steal your joy
  3. Lift up and encourage those who are recovering from failure. Treat people with Grace.
  4. Ignore your critics. Decide to see the good in the experience and growth, the lessons you learned and the relationships you made.
  5. Stay fully focused on your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Believe the best! Christ teaches us to believe the best…faith, hope and love. Remember to rejoice and be glad. If God is for us, who can be against us!

The most effective way to live life on the edge is to “find an edge and Live there”, states Peachin. And, you can start to “find an edge” by writing down your dreams and priorities in life, and then focusing on fulfilling those written dreams and priorities. It starts with knowing what you want, and it ends with getting what you wanted. It’s often that simple.

Save for and invest in the things that matter most!

In every positive or negative situation, there are always options. Remember you are the one pulling the strings, and when things look hopeless, it’s because you’re choosing not look at the things that truly matter. You’re choosing to see the the bad stuff, and they have little to do with your ability to change your circumstances. The trick is that you have to see the ocean of opportunity, not that little bucket of water (problems) that you tripped over.

We must decide to see the good and not dwell on the failure, but instead focus on the positives from the experience. Limits do not exist. You have weaknesses of course and we all do, but focus on your strengths. Remember if you’re feeling scared and fearful, it means you’re trying something new.

People don’t run marathons because it feels good.

When you feel bad about your situation, you’re thinking about the mistakes of yesterday, and not the opportunity of right now and the hope for tomorrow. You’re thinking about what has and what can go wrong, and not what can go right.

When you’re feeling defeated and discouraged, ascertain what you’re really focusing on. It important to focus on how far you’ve come, the opportunities that lie ahead, and the resources available you have to go forward.

“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.” Oprah Winfrey

Always think bigger and focus on your purpose. Build the world as you want it to be.

References:

  1. Costco Connection, September 2021, Vol. 36, No. 9, pg. 119
  2. https://personalexcellence.co/blog/101-ways-to-live-your-life-to-the-fullest/

“Those who are the happiest are not necessarily those for whom life has been easiest. Emotional stability results from an attitude. It is refusing to yield to depression and fear, even when black clouds float overhead. It is improving that which can be improved and accepting that which is inevitable.” ― James C. Dobson, Life on the Edge: The Next Generation’s Guide to a Meaningful Future

Emotional Well-being: Gratitude

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“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

November is National Gratitude Month. There is always something on our daily lives to be grateful for.

In the Oxford Dictionary, gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

Gratitude is about putting our attention towards the positive. When you do that, you help improve your physical and mental well-being. It is one simple way to change one’s perspective of the world. It allows you to appreciate the positive, rather than focus on the negative aspects of your life and the world. Learning to be grateful helps you appreciate the little things in life that you may to take for granted.

Many of people express gratitude by saying “thank you” to someone who has helped them or given them a gift. But from a scientific perspective, gratitude is not just an action: it is also the positive emotion. It’s a state of being, where you feel a sense of appreciation that comes from deep within.

We should try to live everyday showing gratitude and appreciation to one another. Yet, as we get busy and focused on our day-to-day activities, responsibilities, and requirements.

Gratitude can be the same way. It’s not that we don’t feel thankful for things, people, or circumstances in our lives, but sometimes our lives get in the way and we lose focus on being grateful.

Research states that people who practice gratitude every day are not only happier but also healthier. On average, people who are grateful tend to have lower stress-related illnesses, lowered blood pressure, are more physically fit, happier, and have more personal and professional relationships with others.

There are many ways to embrace gratitude. And, it is important to acknowledge something each day that you are grateful for. Here are some other ideas:

  • Start a gratitude journal. Write a quick sentence about someone or something that you were grateful about that day. It can help you find appreciate for things around you, even among the stress from that day. And when you review what you’ve written, you’ll be able to reflect with appreciation those relationships or situations.
  • Say “please” and “thank you.” These simple words go beyond basic manners. They show respect, kindness, appreciation, and acknowledge someone else’s efforts. You could be the one thank you someone received that day.
  • Take the time for mindful reflection. Take a few minutes to focus on the present moment. It can reduce stress and cultivate the ability to be present in the moment and teach you to accept yourself and circumstances.
  • Spread gratitude. Share gratitude with other people. Tell them how much you appreciate their services, care, friendship, etc. Show your family how grateful you are to have them in your life, let them know how they make your life better just by being a part of it.
  • Give back to the community. Show your gratitude and appreciation by giving back to the community. Helping out in the community is a good way to appreciate everything in life. So do your part and become something that others can be grateful for.
  • Wake up and express gratitude for three things every morning. When you wake up each morning, try to immediately think of at least three things you’re grateful for. It can help you get in a positive mindset to start your day. You can express gratitude for something you’re looking forward to that day, or just for simply waking up again.

It’s easy to lose focus on gratitude. It’s t’s easy to forget that even the little things we do have a positive and beneficial impact on our family and friends.

Being grateful means finding and focusing more on the good. It means finding something to be grateful for amid the negative and chaos.

Gratitude has been proven to generate a positive impact on psychological, physical, and personal well-being. Practicing gratitude or reflecting on what you’re grateful for is an effective way to deal with life’s chaotic, stressful and tense moments. Grateful people tend to sleep better, have lower stress levels, exercise more often, and eat healthier.

“Give gratitude a try! You’ll be happier you did.”

References:

  1. https://www.southwesthealth.org/2021/11/a-month-of-gratitude/
  2. https://antimaximalist.com/national-gratitude-month/
  3. https://nationaltoday.com/national-gratitude-month/

Planning and Achieving Financial Freedom

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Financial freedom can be an elusive—and hard-to-define—goal.

Financial freedom is often said to be in the eye of the beholder. To some it may mean freedom of debt and being able to fund your lifestyle with your cash flow; to others it may mean early retirement on a Caribbean island. Whatever your financial goals or definition of financial freedom, there are ways and things you can learn to help you get your financial house in order.

Once you’ve decided that financial freedom is one of your top goals, you can start taking steps to achieve it. Thus, the first step toward achieving financial freedom is to define exactly what it means for you. You can’t generally achieve something that you haven’t defined. So, once you’ve defined what financial freedom means to you, you can start taking steps toward your goals.

“What then is freedom? The power to live as one wishes.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

Just because you have money does not mean you have financial freedom. There have been numerous people, especially professional athletes and entertainers, who have earned millions of dollars and subsequently lost it all through reckless spending and debilitating debt. Thus, even if you have a lot of money, if you don’t know how to manage and make your money work for you, it will more than likely disappear.

Financial freedom typically means having enough savings, financial assets, and cash on hand to afford the kind of life you desire for yourself and your families. It means growing savings and investments to a level that enables you to retire or pursue the career you want without being driven to earn a wage or salary each year. Financial freedom means your money and assets are working hard for you rather than the other way around…you’re working hard for your money.

In other words, financial freedom is about much more than just having money. It’s the freedom to be who you really are and do what you really want in life. It’s about following your passion, making choices that aren’t influenced by your bank account, net worth or cash flow, and living life on your terms.

Track your expenses

It’s difficult to know how to save money if you don’t have a good idea of where your money is going. Carefully track your spending habits for a typical month. Doing this will help you to become more conscious of your discretionary expenditures. It will also reinforce what expenses are essential and remind you to plan for unexpected expenditures, like medical emergencies and car repairs. Therefore, it is vital to understand and to know where your money is going.

Make a budget

Once you’ve taken inventory of your expenses, next step is to create a budget. While budgeting can sound like a cumbersome task, you may want to start by using a budgeting calculator to get a feel for how you are currently spending your money and how you’d like to change your spending.

One popular budgeting method is the 50/30/20 rule. The 50/30/20 rule is a way to divide your post-tax income based on your needs, wants and savings. The rule states that people should spend 50% of their income on their needs. This includes health insurance, housing, transportation, and groceries. Then, the guideline states that people should spend 30% of their income on wants or non-necessities such as entertainment, travel, and more. Finally, the last 20% of a person’s income should be saved or invested. This might include retirement savings and building a stock portfolio.

Once you have created a budget, don’t put it in a drawer and forget about it. Instead, make it a working and living document that you check and refer to often. Spend a half-hour per month reviewing how your actual expenses match your budget and make adjustments as necessary.

Automate your savings

Automating your savings and investing is one of the easiest steps you can take to ensure that you are on the path to financial freedom. You can set automated contributions to your employer-sponsored investments, including your 401(k) contributions and employee stock options.

When your savings and investing are automated, your money will continue to grow without you having to think about it. This will help you to reach your financial goals easily and quickly.

Have some percentage (10% to 20%) of your paycheck automatically deposited into a separate account—whether it’s a savings account, a 401(k) or an IRA. Money that isn’t easily accessible is not easily spent.

Unfortunately, many Americans are not saving enough to maintain their current standard of living during their retirement years. It was found that about 21% of Americans have nothing saved for retirement, according to the Northwestern Mutual’s 2018 Planning & Progress Study.

Start investing early

Follow the adage, the best time to start investing was twenty years ago; the second best time is today. You should start investing in a tax deferred account, preferably with your employer matching a portion or all of your contribution.

Planning for retirement is a marathon and not a sprint. Even if you are starting small, the most important thing is to get started. Therefore, it will likely take decades to reach your goal. Therefore, it is important to remember why you want to achieve financial freedom. Keeping your purpose, goals and the bigger picture in mind will help you navigate the day-to-day financial decisions.

Once you become financially free, you have more choices of how to live your life and spend your days.

When you decide that you want to start working toward financial freedom, it is important to remember that you will not become financially free overnight. However, according to certified financial planner David Rae, in a 2018 article in Forbes magazine, there are eight hierarchies of financial freedom that you can work towards:

  1. Level 1: Not Living Paycheck to Paycheck – The first level of financial freedom is building up an emergency fund and paying off any credit card debt. Unfortunately, living paycheck to paycheck is the reality of millions of Americans. According to the Federal Reserve’s Report on the Economic Well-Being of U.S. Households in 2017, some 40% of households could not cover a $400 unexpected expense.
  2. Level 2: Enough Money to take a sabbatical from your work – Accumulating enough money to be able to take a break away from work can be rewarding. This does not mean you have to quit your job, but it sure is a good feeling to know you can.
  3. Level 3: Enough to be Financially Happy and still Save – it’s about enjoying your life and having the money to do it. There can be peace when you are earning enough to save, doing the things you enjoy and still having extra at the end of the month.
  4. Level 4: Freedom of Time – Many people desire more flexibility with their schedules. Freedom of time and financial independence go hand in hand. Together, they are about following your passion, or spending more time with family, and not going completely broke doing it.
  5. Level 5: Enough for a Basic Retirement – Think about what your bare minimum retirement would look like. By knowing your bare minimum retirement, and knowing that you have enough money saved to at least cover some standard of living in your retirement, will also influence other life choices you may make along the way.
  6. Level 6: Enough to Actually Retire Well – Knowing you are on track to accumulate a nest egg to support that lifestyle is a big win. Well done to those who have accumulated enough assets, or passive income streams, to be in a position to retire well.
  7. Level 7: Enough for Dream Retirement – It would feel great knowing that you are on track to have enough money to retire and be able to live your dream life. What is stopping you from getting there.
  8. Level 8: More Money Than You Could Ever Spend – Having more money than you expected to spend is great. Building enough wealth so that you could not possibly spend all of it is another.

Bottomline is that if you want to be financially free, if you want to be able to live the lifestyle of your choosing while responsibly managing your finances, you need to become a different person than you are today and let go of the financial mindset that has created your current financial predicament and has held you back in the past.

Attaining financial freedom, which means having enough savings, investments and cash flow to live as you desire, both now and in your later years, requires a continuous process of growth, learning and emotional strength. In other words, whatever has held you back and provided you comfort in the past or kept you less than who you really are will have to be replaced. You will have to become comfortable for awhile being uncomfortable. And in return, the financially empowered, purposeful, and successful you will emerge — like a butterfly shedding its cocoon.

References:

  1. https://www.richdad.com/what-is-financial-freedom
  2. https://smartasset.com/financial-advisor/financial-freedom
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidrae/2019/04/09/levels-of-financial-freedom

Mindfulness and Emotional Well-being

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“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a neutral, nonjudgmental filter.

Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that you pay attention to your current thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment.

When you practice mindfulness, your thoughts tune into what you’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing your past or imagining your future.

To be mindful is to be fully conscious or aware of your surroundings. It’s important to not think or worry about the future. Instead, the goal is to physically, emotionally, mentally, and cognitively stay within the present moment.


 
“Mindfulness…is the presence of heart.” Chinese Translation

To discover mindfulness is to discover what happens when you deliberately take time to detect the reality and your perception of the present moment no matter what it’s like—and gradually cultivate ‘an open heart’ to what we notice and sense, asserts teacher Adam Moskowitz. 

Mindfulness Chinese symbol

A Chinese translation for mindfulness is presence of heart. At its core mindfulness is a heart-centered practice. It is a realization of your fundamental wholeness, according to Moskowitz. It is a discovery of your innate care for yourself and one another. It is recognition of the truth of your interdependence—how we rely on one another and how the world relies on us.

Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness, even for just a few weeks, can bring a variety of physical, psychological, and social benefits. Essentially, mindfulness is good for your health, wealth and emotional well-being.

Mindfulness can be cultivated and practiced daily, Jon Kabat-Zinn emphasizes in his Greater Good video. “It’s about living your life as if it really mattered, moment by moment by moment by moment.”

It is essential for our wellbeing to take a few minutes each day to cultivate mindfulness and achieve a positive mind-body balance. Here are a few key components of practicing mindfulness that Kabat-Zinn and others identify:

  • Pay close attention to your breathing, especially when you’re feeling intense emotions.
  • Notice—really notice—what you’re sensing in a given moment, the sights, sounds, and smells that ordinarily slip by without reaching your conscious awareness.
  • Recognize that your thoughts and emotions are fleeting and do not define you, an insight that can free you from negative thought patterns.
  • Tune into your body’s physical sensations, from the water hitting your skin in the shower to the way your body rests in your office chair.

The cultivation of moment-by-moment awareness of our surrounding environment is a practice that helps us better cope with the difficult thoughts and feelings that cause us stress and anxiety in everyday life.

With regular practice of mindfulness exercises, you can harness the ability to root the mind in the present moment and deal with life’s challenges in a clear-minded, calm, assertive way. It’s about the challenges and the rewards of being less self-centered and more self aware.

References:

  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
  2. https://www.withinmeditation.com/blog/2020/10/2/presence-of-heart-what-mindfulness-is-and-isnt
  3. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness
  4. https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-can-try-today/