Tag Archives: Happiness

Systems are Best for Long Term Success

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“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.” James Clear

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, spoke at a conference I attended about ‘goals and system’. During his insightful talk, he explained that “Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. ”

Furthermore, he said that, “I began to realize that my results had very little to do with the goals I set and nearly everything to do with the systems I followed.” To explain, he writes that “If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal might be to build a million-dollar business. Your system is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns.”

Moreover, goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress and reaching your destination.

Goals can become too limiting, says Scott Adams, the nationally syndicated cartoonist of Dilbert. Systems, in contrast, habits are things that people regularly do and that increase the odds that an event ends up creating an experience that leads to an eventual success, even though that success might not be immediately apparent.

A system, says Adams, contributes to a positive attitude that widens a person’s field of perception, which he contends is what makes some people luckier than others in that they can see more opportunities.

Build a system for getting 1% better every day.

In Clear’s opinion, “a handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.”

https://twitter.com/atomichabitss/status/1498825041835823105

According to Clear, several problems arise when you focus on goals and ignore the system, such as:

Problem #1: Winners and losers have the same goals.

Successful and unsuccessful people often share the same goals, thus the goal cannot be what differentiates the winners from the losers. It wasn’t the goal of winning the Tour de France that propelled the British Cyclists to the top of the sport, states Clear. Presumably, they had wanted to win the race every year before—just like every other professional team. The goal had always been there. It was only when they implemented a system of continuous small improvements that they achieved a different outcome.

Problem #2: Achieving a goal is only a momentary change.

To truly have meaningful and long-lasting change, you must change your habits that led to the problem or challenge in the first place. Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. That’s the counterintuitive thing about improvement. You think you need to change your results, but the results are not the problem. What you really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

Problem #3: Goals restrict your happiness.

The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. Happiness should not be just something for your future self to enjoy.

Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success.

A systems-first mentality provides the antidote. When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.

Problem #4: Goals are at odds with long-term progress.

Finally, a goal-oriented mind-set can create a “yo-yo” effect. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.

Fall in love with systems

James Clear surmises that “goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.”

The next time you think about a goal, something you deeply desire to achieve, think of the system that you will follow — and how often — in order to reach it.

References:

  1. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
  2. https://www.cioinsight.com/careers/dilbert-creator-focus-on-systems-not-goals/
  3. https://jamesclear.com/good-habits
  4. https://medium.com/swlh/thinking-in-systems-not-goals-2b9a4105d0d3

James Clear is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits.

“The most useful form of patience is persistence. Patience implies waiting for things to improve on their own. Persistence implies keeping your head down and continuing to work when things take longer than you expect.” ~James Clear

Attitude of Gratitude

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“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” – Socrates

Gratitude is good for your body, your mind, your wealth, and your emotional well-being. Yet, Americans usually equate happiness to having more in life. And by more, think of monetary or physical possessions — a bigger house, larger bank account, more clothes, the latest gadgets, a faster car. Yet, once you acquire more shiny brand new things, rarely do you find yourself any happier and satisfied.

Instead of acquiring more stuff, the Greek philosopher Socrates taught his fellow Greek citizens to be happy with less. In other words, enjoy that pair of jeans you love so much that you wear it all the time, instead of worrying about the latest fad designer jeans at the boutique that costs two weeks pay.

Simply put, gratitude changes your focus to what you have. Since, it doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t appreciate it! Without gratitude, you’ll never feel successful, no matter how much you have and own. So regardless of your level of wealth and financial success, practicing gratitude is essential. You get more of what you focus on…what you focus on expands!

According to the Harvard Medical School, gratitude is: “a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives … As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power” 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” Confucius

Every day won’t be perfect, but focusing on what we are grateful for tends to wash away feelings of anger, sorrow and negativity. And there is added benefits to improving your mindset, attitude and outcome. Recent studies show that being grateful and expressing gratitude leads to better physical and emotional health.

“An attitude of gratitude means making it a habit to express thankfulness and appreciation in all parts of your life, on a regular basis, for both the big and small things alike,” according to Lewis Howe, author of the inspirational book, The School of Greatness. “If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.”

Thus, you must look throughout your day for things and activities to be grateful for, and something to be grateful for will always show up. Just because gratitude is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

Do not lose sight of being grateful for simply having a challenge or mountain to climb (it beats the alternative). Only when you began feeling gratitude for the opportunity to serve, to learn and to grow will a shift in attitude and happiness happen.

You can view gratitude as an emotional muscle that will grow and strengthen with intentional use. Make gratitude a habit by starting a gratitude journal, incorporating gratitude into your morning routine practice, or perhaps by having a gratitude accountability partner whom you can email daily.

“Everything — peace of mind, happiness, getting the most out of what you have — springs off of the word ‘gratitude’…True gratitude is based on all things — success and failure. If I’m truly grateful, I’m going to maintain that regardless of the outcome. Otherwise, it’s not gratitude.” Cael Sanderson, Head Wrestling Coach, Pennsylvania State University

Gratitude can be made a habit that you can practice every morning. According to motivational speaker Tony Robbins, gratitude is a ritual that can be broken down into three, three-minute sections, which can provide structure for living a life of gratitude. The three sections are:

  • First three minutes, think of three things you’re grateful for. Tony suggests that one of these be very simple—like how beautiful the sunset was last night or the great night’s sleep you just got.
  • During the next three minutes, focus on creating gratitude by imagining an inner presence that can heal and solve any obstacles in your life.
  • For the last three minutes, identify three things you’re absolutely going to make happen for yourself—what he calls his “three to thrive.”

Imagine what it would feel like to complete these tasks, and “see it as though it’s already been done,” Robbins said.

Enjoying less and appreciating the things you own are not difficult. All it takes is a change of mindset and an attitude of gratitude. Since, gratitude makes dealing with the difficult things and experiences easier. So be grateful when things are challenging, when you don’t feel like it, or when you fall short of achieving your goal.

To become more grateful, there are several everyday tips for living a life of gratitude, according to Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading scientific expert on gratitude:

  • Keep a Gratitude Journal. Establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things you enjoy. Setting aside time on a daily basis to recall moments of gratitude associated with ordinary events, your personal attributes, or valued people in your life gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life theme of gratefulness.
  • Remember the Bad. To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember the hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.
  • Ask Yourself Three Questions. Utilize the meditation technique known as Naikan, which involves reflecting on three questions: “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”
  • Learn Prayers of Gratitude. In many spiritual traditions, prayers of gratitude are considered to be the most powerful form of prayer, because through these prayers people recognize the ultimate source of all they are and all they will ever be.
  • Use Visual Reminders. Because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. Often times, the best visual reminders are other people.
  • Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude. Research shows that making an oath to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own gratitude vow, which could be as simple as “I vow to count my blessings each day,” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
  • Watch your Language. Grateful people have a particular linguistic style that uses the language of gifts, givers, blessings, blessed, fortune, fortunate, and abundance. In gratitude, you should not focus on how inherently good you are, but rather on the inherently good things that others have done on your behalf.

It’s vitally essential to live your life and build your wealth based in gratitude. With gratitude comes the realization that we get more than we deserve and we’re content with what we have, received and accomplished.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Research has shown that there is a strong link between happiness and gratitude. And there is a lot in your life to be grateful for! Do you want to be happy and wealthy? Stop waiting for happiness to knock on your door. Go out and make a friend or two. Stop thinking others have it better than you do.

Stop looking at what others have and start being grateful for what you have. You probably have a roof over your head and food in your stomach every day. The average world wide salary in 2012 was $18,000, adjusted for purchasing power. If you’re pulling in $19,000 you’re above average and, therefore, in terms of the entire world, rich. Celebrate your new found rich status, by inviting a couple of friends over. It will make you happier.

You must be grateful and love your life whether you’re winning or losing; whether you’re successful or unsuccessful; and whether you’ve built wealth or failed to build wealth. Just be grateful for the opportunity and your life. 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melodie Beattie, Author of ‘Co-dependant No More’

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/
  2. https://celador.net/the-secret-of-happiness-e611f6471b8f
  3. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-have-an-attitude-of-gratitude_b_8644102
  4. https://partners4prosperity.com/thank-and-grow-rich-gratitude-and-wealth/
  5. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good/
  6. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/robert_emmons
  7. https://onwardstate.com/2020/05/08/4-lessons-i-learned-from-cael-sanderson-after-covering-him-for-4-years/

Building Resilience

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“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

The author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life” and “Good Anxiety” explains how to harness the power of anxiety into unexpected gifts.

We are living in the age of anxiety. There are about 40 million Americans— or 18% of the population—suffering from clinical anxiety disorders today.

Anxiety is a situation that often makes you feel as if you are locked into an endless cycle of stress, uncertainty, and worry. But, there are ways to leverage your anxiety to help you solve problems and fortify your wellbeing, explains Dr. Wendy Suzuki, PhD, a neuroscientist and professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University. Thus, instead of seeing anxiety strictly as a problem or curse to dread, you recognize it as the unique gift that it is.

Dr. Suzuki has discovered a paradigm-shifting truth about anxiety: yes, it is uncomfortable, but it is also essential for your survival. In fact, anxiety is a key component of your ability to live optimally. Every emotion you experience has an evolutionary purpose, and anxiety is designed to draw your attention to vulnerability. If you simply approach it as something to avoid, get rid of, or dampen, you actually miss an opportunity to improve your life. Listening to your anxieties from a place of curiosity, and without fear or worry, can actually guide you onto a path that leads to inner peace and joy.

Drawing on her own struggles and based on cutting-edge research, Dr. Suzuki has developed strategies for managing unwarranted anxiety and exercises you can do to build your resiliency and mental strength. The exercises include:

Visualize positive outcomes

At the beginning or at the end of each day, think through all those uncertain situations currently in your life — both big and small. Now take each of those and visualize the most optimistic and amazing outcome to the situation. Not just the “okay” outcome, but the best possible one you could imagine.

This process of visualizing “the most optimistic and amazing outcome” should build the muscle of expecting the positive outcome and might even open up ideas for what more you might do to create that outcome of your dreams.

Turn anxiety into progress

Our brain’s plasticity is what enables us to be resilient during challenging times — to learn how to calm down, reassess situations, reframe our thoughts and make smarter decisions.

Reach out

Asking for help, staying connected to friends and family, and actively nurturing supportive, encouraging relationships not only enables you to keep anxiety at bay, but also shores up the sense that you’re not alone.

The belief and feeling that you are surrounded by people who care about you is crucial during times of enormous stress — when you need to fall back on your own resilience in order to persevere and maintain your well-being.

When we are suffering from loss or other forms of distress, it’s natural to withdraw. Yet you also have the power to push yourself into the loving embrace of those who can help take care of you.

Practice positive self-tweeting

Lin-Manual Miranda sends out tweets at the beginning and end of each day. The tweets are essentially upbeat little messages that are funny, singsongy and generally delightful.

If you watch him, you’ll see an inherently resilient, mentally strong and optimistic person.

For you to be that resilient, productive and creative, it’s essential to come up with positive reminders. You don’t necessarily need to share them. The idea is to boost yourself up at the beginning and at the end of the day.

This can be difficult for those who automatically beat themselves up. Instead, think about what your biggest supporter in life — a spouse, partner, sibling, friend, mentor or parent — would tell you, and then tweet, remind or say it to yourself.

Although popular science continues to suggests that persistent, low-level anxiety is detrimental to your health, performance, and wellbeing, but if you could learn how to harness the brain activation underlying your anxiety and make it work for you, you could turn anxiety into superpower, says Dr. Suzuki.

Her research and her own experience demonstrate that this paradigm shift from bad to good anxiety can accelerate focus and productivity, boosts performance, lead to happiness, create compassion, and foster more creativity.

Twenty-five positive quotes and reminders to build resilience:

  1. You’re awesome, Bro.
  2. You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you!
  3. Believe in yourself; have faith in your abilities!
  4. Everyday, in every way, you’re getting better and better, dude!
  5. “Great minds discuss ideas.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  6. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” Robert Collier
  7. “Be patient with yourself.” Stephen Covey
  8. “People will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
  9. “Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu
  10. “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” Andrew Carnegie
  11. “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” Denis Waitley
  12. “Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha
  13. “The secret of health for both mind and body…is to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha
  14. “Happiness…is appreciating what you have.”
  15. “We make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill
  16. “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty.” Charles Dickens
  17. “He is a wise man who rejoices for the things which he has.” Epictetus
  18. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” Oprah Winfrey
  19. “Open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift–today.” Steve Maraboli
  20. “This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it.”
  21. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brené Brown
  22. “Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” T. Harv Eker
  23. “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin
  24. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal.” Thomas Jefferson
  25. “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” Theodore Roosevelt

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs–even though checkered by failure–than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/31/do-these-exercises-every-day-to-build-resilience-and-mental-strength-says-neuroscientist.html
  2. https://www.wendysuzuki.com
  3. https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/top-350-inspiring-motivational-quotes-to-tweet-and-share.html

Persistence and Perseverance

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“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Calvin Coolidge

“Three simple rules in life and habits…Go, Ask, and Do:

  1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.

  2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

  3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.”

Austin Miller, VP of Talent Management at Sorenson Capital Partners

Mindfulness

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The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us, according to the website Mindfulness.com.

Mindfulness encompasses two key ingredients: awareness and acceptance, according to Psychology Today. Awareness is the knowledge and ability to focus attention on one’s inner processes and experiences, such as the experience of the present moment. Acceptance is the ability to observe and accept—rather than judge or avoid—those streams of thought.

Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. And there’s growing research showing that when you train your brain to be mindful, you’re actually remodeling the physical structure of your brain.

Mindfulness is a technique of deliberately focusing your attention and not let yourself be distracted by other thoughts constantly running through your head; you clear “noise” from your mind.

Mindfulness is the idea to become more self-aware. You pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations in that moment — without purposefully deciding whether they’re good or bad, and without becoming overwhelmed or overly reactive.

In short, you tune in to what you’re feeling and what’s real right now. “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally,” says Kabat-Zinn, creator of the research-backed stress-reduction program Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) . “And then I sometimes add, in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”

Mindfulness – Live in the day; Live in the now.

Mindfulness is available to you in every moment, whether through meditations or mindful moment practices like taking time to pause and breathe when the phone rings instead of rushing to answer it.

Breathe in and out a few times. If your mind wanders, just notice that, accept that your mind has wandered, and refocus on your breathing. That’s a bare bones example of mindfulness. “Mindfulness is really important in times like this,” says Auguste H. Fortin VI, MD, MPH, a Yale Medicine internal medicine specialist who has recommended mindfulness practices to help cope with their illnesses.

Mindfulness is a practice that involves three components:

  • Paying attention to what is happening in the present moment
  • Doing this purposely and deliberately, with resolve
  • Maintaining the attitude that you will stay with your mindfulness experience, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant

As you spend time practicing mindfulness, you’ll probably find yourself feeling kinder, calmer, and more patient. These shifts in your experience are likely to generate changes in other parts of your life as well.

Mindfulness can help you maximize your enjoyment of life and help you wind down. Its benefits include lowering stress levels, reducing harmful ruminating, and protecting against depression and anxiety. Research even suggests that mindfulness can help people better cope with rejection and social isolation.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”  Lao Tzu

References:

  1. https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness
  3. https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/mindfulness-covid

Most Valuable Retirement Assets

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“Retirement is like an iceberg, where 90% of what’s really taking place lies below the surface, absent from traditional financial plans and conversations” Robert Laura

For a long and fulfilling life in retirement, you need much more than financial resources and financial security. Consequently, there are more valuable retirement assets than financial.

Retirement planning is typically related solely to financial planning, all about numbers. It centers around one question: Do your financial assets — pension, 401(k)s/IRAs, Social Security, property, sale of a business, etc. — provide enough income to fund your desired retirement lifestyle?

5 Tips to Help You Stay Motivated to Exercise poster

You’ll need enough money to get by, of course, but you don’t have to be super wealthy to be happy. In fact, life satisfaction tops out at an annual salary of $95,000, on average, according to a study by psychologists from Purdue University. Enough money to never have to worry about going broke or paying for medical care is important. But financial freedom is not the only or even the most important piece of a fulfilling retirement.

Once you have a retirement plan in place, it is essential to focus on all those things money cannot buy. There are non-financial assets that studies show can improve life satisfaction in retirement. According to Kiplinger Magazine, they include:

  1. Good Health (Health is Wealth) – Good health is the most important ingredient for a happy retirement, according to a Merrill Lynch/Age Wave report. Studies show that exercise and a healthy diet can reduce the risk of developing certain health conditions, increase energy levels, boost your immune system, and improve your mood.
  2. Strong Social Connections (Emotional Well-Being) – Happier retirees were found to be those with more social interactions with friends and family, according to one Gallup poll. Further, social isolation has been linked to higher rates of heart disease and stroke, increased risk of dementia, and greater incidence of depression and anxiety. A low level of social interaction is just as unhealthy as smoking, obesity, alcohol abuse and physical inactivity.
  3. Purpose – Retirees with a sense of purpose or meaning were three times more likely to say “helping people in need” brings them happiness in retirement than “spending money on themselves.” Purpose can fall into three buckets, which means getting involved with your place of worship or spiritual pursuits, using your talents in service to others, and doing what you’ve always wanted to do.
  4. Learning and Growing – Experts believe that ongoing education and learning new things may help keep you mentally sharp simply by getting you in the habit of staying mentally active. Exercising your brain may help prevent cognitive decline and reduce the risk of dementia.
  5. Optimistic Outlook – Optimistic people tend to expect that good things will happen in the future. A fair amount of scientific evidence suggests that being optimistic contributes to good health, both mental and physical and may lower risk of developing cardiovascular disease and other chronic ailments and a longer life, and people with higher levels of optimism lived longer. Optimism is a trait that anyone can develop. Studies have shown people are able to adopt a more optimistic mindset with very simple, low-cost exercises, starting with consciously reframing every situation in a positive light. Over time, your brain is essentially rewired to think positively.
  6. Gratitude – People who counted their blessings had a more positive outlook on life, exercised more, reported fewer symptoms of illness and were more likely to help others. Gratitude enhances people’s satisfaction with life while reducing their desire to buy stuff.
  7. Dog Ownership – Older dog owners who walked their dogs at least once a day got 20% more physical activity than people without dogs and spent 30 fewer minutes a day being sedentary, on average, according to a study published in The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. Research has also indicated that dogs help soothe those suffering from cognitive decline, and the physical and mental health benefits of owning a dog can boost the longevity of the owner.

Retirement is major transition made up of many financial as well as life decisions. This is why it is important to create and to adhere a retirement plan as early as possible. That way you can spend more time focusing on everything else that equally matters.

References:

  1. https://www.kiplinger.com/retirement/happy-retirement/601160/7-surprisingly-valuable-assets-for-a-happy-retirement

Life on the Edge

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“As you get older, the days go by quicker and you need to make the time count.” Mary Peachin, Octogenarian

As you age, it becomes more important to “live each day right to the limit”, states octogenarian Mary Peachin, in Costco Connection magazine, September 2021, Members Connection. Peachin has “walk the talk” and lived her life as a self proclaim world-traveling, deep sea diving adrenaline junkie. “If your body aches, you ignore it and keep on trucking”, she preaches.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, do not take no for an answer. You should expect and intend to live a life well lived and always believe the best is yet to come

“Life is too short not to enjoy it.”

Make your life happen and take action today. Be amongst the few who dared to live their dreams. Live your life in such a way that there is no regret.

Time is short; live every day for a higher purpose. Let’s invest the limited time we have on your life’s purpose and mission. Do not focus on your problems and challenges; instead focus on purpose and destination.

Life is brief and it passes quickly. The average American male lives to be 70 years 4 months. The average American female lives 70 years 4 months. To live life to its fullest, it is not the quantity of your life, but the quality.

Time is running out for all of us.

“Your job will not take care of you when your elderly and sick, your friends and family will.”

  1. Select a few friends to be close to in your life and communicate and strengthen your relationship with them
  2. Get over those who disappoint you and refuse to let those people steal your joy
  3. Lift up and encourage those who are recovering from failure. Treat people with Grace.
  4. Ignore your critics. Decide to see the good in the experience and growth, the lessons you learned and the relationships you made.
  5. Stay fully focused on your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Believe the best! Christ teaches us to believe the best…faith, hope and love. Remember to rejoice and be glad. If God is for us, who can be against us!

The most effective way to live life on the edge is to “find an edge and Live there”, states Peachin. And, you can start to “find an edge” by writing down your dreams and priorities in life, and then focusing on fulfilling those written dreams and priorities. It starts with knowing what you want, and it ends with getting what you wanted. It’s often that simple.

Save for and invest in the things that matter most!

In every positive or negative situation, there are always options. Remember you are the one pulling the strings, and when things look hopeless, it’s because you’re choosing not look at the things that truly matter. You’re choosing to see the the bad stuff, and they have little to do with your ability to change your circumstances. The trick is that you have to see the ocean of opportunity, not that little bucket of water (problems) that you tripped over.

We must decide to see the good and not dwell on the failure, but instead focus on the positives from the experience. Limits do not exist. You have weaknesses of course and we all do, but focus on your strengths. Remember if you’re feeling scared and fearful, it means you’re trying something new.

People don’t run marathons because it feels good.

When you feel bad about your situation, you’re thinking about the mistakes of yesterday, and not the opportunity of right now and the hope for tomorrow. You’re thinking about what has and what can go wrong, and not what can go right.

When you’re feeling defeated and discouraged, ascertain what you’re really focusing on. It important to focus on how far you’ve come, the opportunities that lie ahead, and the resources available you have to go forward.

“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.” Oprah Winfrey

Always think bigger and focus on your purpose. Build the world as you want it to be.

References:

  1. Costco Connection, September 2021, Vol. 36, No. 9, pg. 119
  2. https://personalexcellence.co/blog/101-ways-to-live-your-life-to-the-fullest/

“Those who are the happiest are not necessarily those for whom life has been easiest. Emotional stability results from an attitude. It is refusing to yield to depression and fear, even when black clouds float overhead. It is improving that which can be improved and accepting that which is inevitable.” ― James C. Dobson, Life on the Edge: The Next Generation’s Guide to a Meaningful Future

Emotional Well-being: College Student Mental Health

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Improving the lives and futures of young adults by strengthening connections and building resilience.

Mental health continues to be a major concern on college campuses around the world, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.

The research reveals that the prevalence of depression and anxiety in young people continues to increase, now reaching its highest levels, a sign of the mounting stress factors due to the convergence of the coronavirus pandemic, political unrest, and systemic racism and inequality. 

Additionally, researchers from the World Health Organization found that a staggering 35 percent of first year college freshmen struggled with a mental illness. The most common mental illness observed was major depressive disorder, with 21.2 percent of respondents experiencing lifelong symptoms, followed by general anxiety disorder, which affects 18.6 percent of students.

When it comes to suicide in particular, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry points to data showing that by 2018, suicide was the second-leading cause of death for people between the ages of 10 and 24.

And, since 2014, anxiety and depression have been college students’ leading mental health issues, according to research conducted by Boston University.

According to the most recent Healthy Minds Study, which surveys tens of thousands of college and university students across the U.S., 41% of all students screened positive for depression over the spring semester, and 34% screened positive for anxiety. They are the highest levels observed by the study. However, this year’s results are part of a steadily increasing trend, and students surveyed said that while the pandemic impacted their mental health, it wasn’t the root cause.

Help is on its way

RADical Hope is a nonprofit committed to improving the lives and futures of young adults by strengthening connections and building resilience. The RADical Hope movement is two-fold: educate all constituents of the college community the warning signs and implore them to take action. And, help to identify students who need help but are not able to ask for it.

RADical Hope wellness program, RADical Health, attempts to empower and equip college students with tools to stay well and stay resilient dealing with the day-to-day challenges of life on college campuses. Their strategy is to utilize proven effective techniques and procedures to counter the accelerating rise in college student anxiety and depression.

RADical Hope is currently partnering with ten colleges and universities to develop, identify and partner with frontline engagement programs that deliver three priorities: Connectivity, Engagement, Empowerment.

And, reaching college-age kids is vital. “64% of kids who drop out of college do so because of mental illness,” says Ken Langone, Co-Founder of Home Depot, who adds, “Our purpose [for RADical Hope] is to identify the kids who aren’t reaching out for help and assure them there is a better future.”

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/10/04/4-ways-to-be-proactive-about-your-mental-health-in-college.html
  2. https://www.bu.edu/articles/2021/depression-anxiety-loneliness-are-peaking-in-college-students/
  3. https://radicalhopefoundation.org
  4. https://www.wuft.org/news/2021/09/22/mental-health-challenges-abound-among-college-students/
  5. https://healthymindsnetwork.org/hms/

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline contact is 1-800-273-8255 (en español: 1-888-628-9454; deaf and hard of hearing: 1-800-799-4889) or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

Emotional Well-being: Gratitude

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“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

November is National Gratitude Month. There is always something on our daily lives to be grateful for.

In the Oxford Dictionary, gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

Gratitude is about putting our attention towards the positive. When you do that, you help improve your physical and mental well-being. It is one simple way to change one’s perspective of the world. It allows you to appreciate the positive, rather than focus on the negative aspects of your life and the world. Learning to be grateful helps you appreciate the little things in life that you may to take for granted.

Many of people express gratitude by saying “thank you” to someone who has helped them or given them a gift. But from a scientific perspective, gratitude is not just an action: it is also the positive emotion. It’s a state of being, where you feel a sense of appreciation that comes from deep within.

We should try to live everyday showing gratitude and appreciation to one another. Yet, as we get busy and focused on our day-to-day activities, responsibilities, and requirements.

Gratitude can be the same way. It’s not that we don’t feel thankful for things, people, or circumstances in our lives, but sometimes our lives get in the way and we lose focus on being grateful.

Research states that people who practice gratitude every day are not only happier but also healthier. On average, people who are grateful tend to have lower stress-related illnesses, lowered blood pressure, are more physically fit, happier, and have more personal and professional relationships with others.

There are many ways to embrace gratitude. And, it is important to acknowledge something each day that you are grateful for. Here are some other ideas:

  • Start a gratitude journal. Write a quick sentence about someone or something that you were grateful about that day. It can help you find appreciate for things around you, even among the stress from that day. And when you review what you’ve written, you’ll be able to reflect with appreciation those relationships or situations.
  • Say “please” and “thank you.” These simple words go beyond basic manners. They show respect, kindness, appreciation, and acknowledge someone else’s efforts. You could be the one thank you someone received that day.
  • Take the time for mindful reflection. Take a few minutes to focus on the present moment. It can reduce stress and cultivate the ability to be present in the moment and teach you to accept yourself and circumstances.
  • Spread gratitude. Share gratitude with other people. Tell them how much you appreciate their services, care, friendship, etc. Show your family how grateful you are to have them in your life, let them know how they make your life better just by being a part of it.
  • Give back to the community. Show your gratitude and appreciation by giving back to the community. Helping out in the community is a good way to appreciate everything in life. So do your part and become something that others can be grateful for.
  • Wake up and express gratitude for three things every morning. When you wake up each morning, try to immediately think of at least three things you’re grateful for. It can help you get in a positive mindset to start your day. You can express gratitude for something you’re looking forward to that day, or just for simply waking up again.

It’s easy to lose focus on gratitude. It’s t’s easy to forget that even the little things we do have a positive and beneficial impact on our family and friends.

Being grateful means finding and focusing more on the good. It means finding something to be grateful for amid the negative and chaos.

Gratitude has been proven to generate a positive impact on psychological, physical, and personal well-being. Practicing gratitude or reflecting on what you’re grateful for is an effective way to deal with life’s chaotic, stressful and tense moments. Grateful people tend to sleep better, have lower stress levels, exercise more often, and eat healthier.

“Give gratitude a try! You’ll be happier you did.”

References:

  1. https://www.southwesthealth.org/2021/11/a-month-of-gratitude/
  2. https://antimaximalist.com/national-gratitude-month/
  3. https://nationaltoday.com/national-gratitude-month/

Take Control of Your Finances

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There are ways to feel more in control of your financial situation–and make the money you have go farther. The key is to take a close look at your current budget and to better manage your cash flow. You can best do this by finding expenses you may be able to pare back or eliminate, and by potentially finding new sources of income.

Smart spending and saving strategies, according to FinTech company SoFi, to follow are:

Create a Budget and Manage Your Cash Flow – Take a close look at your monthly spending to get a full picture of your spending, and start tracking your spending (every cash/debit/credit card transaction and every bill you pay) for a month or so.

Once you understand your average monthly spending, compare it to what’s coming in. You can look at your bank statements for the past few months to get an idea of much after-tax income you are taking in on average per month.

Comparing what is coming in vs. going out will help you know exactly where you stand financially.

Uncovering Places to Save – Once you understand your monthly spending and group your expenses into categories, the next step is to list your expenses in order of priority, starting with the essentials and going down to the “nice to haves.”

Once you’ve established which expenses are the most important, you can start looking for places to cut some of your unnecessary spending. For example, if you are spending a lot on restaurants and take-out, you might consider cooking at home a few more nights a week.

Negotiating with Service Providers – You may be able to negotiate for a lower rate from many of your providers, especially if you’re dealing with a company that’s in a competitive market.

Before you call or email a business or provider, it is important to know exactly how much you’re paying for a service, what you’re getting for your money, and how much the competition is charging for the same or similar service.

It’s also a good idea to make sure you are communicating with someone who actually has the power to lower your rate and, if not, ask to speak with someone who does.

You may also want to let providers know that if they can’t do better, you may decide to switch to another company.

Cutting Back on Bigger Expenses – Look at the big items in your overall budget. For example, if your car payment too high, you could buy a less expensive to cut monthly payments.

If rent is eating up too much of your income, you might want to look into finding a cheaper place to live that’s still nice, taking in a roommate, or moving in with friends.

The lower you keep these costs, the easier it will be to live well within a tight budget.

Knocking Down Debt – Having too much debt can hamper your chances of achieving financial security down the line.

That’s because when you’re spending a lot of money on interest each month, it can be harder to pay all of your other expenses on time, not to mention grow your savings.

Reducing debt may seem like a tall mountain to climb, but choosing the right debt reduction strategy may be able to help you chip away and slowly improve your financial situation.

Since credit card debt typically costs the most in interest, you might consider tackling these debts first, and then move on to the debt with the next-highest interest rate, and so on.

Starting an Emergency Fund – Start putting a little bit away into an emergency fund each month a priority: An unexpected expense—like your car breaking down or a visit to an urgent care clinic—could put you over the financial edge.

If you start putting just a small amount aside each month into an emergency fund, it won’t be long before you have a decent financial cushion that could prevent you from having to run up high interest credit debt the next time something unexpected rolls around.

Spending Only Cash for Everyday Expenses – Using plastic that can make it feel like you are not really spending money. Thus, switching to cash (and leaving the credit cards at home) for other expenses can be a great idea when money is tight.

The reason is that using cash places a harder limit on your spending and helps you become more aware of your choices. When you can literally see your money going somewhere, you may find yourself becoming much more intentional in the way you spend it.

Another benefit of cash is that it’s more difficult to get into debt since you can’t spend cash you don’t have.

Starting a Side Gig – Once you’ve done some basic budgeting, it may be clear that additional income could help ease things while money is tight.

Sometimes all it takes is some extra time and energy, but taking on a side hustle, or using your talents to pick up some freelance work can bring in additional income.

Some ideas for generating extra income include:

  • Selling things on eBay or Craigslist
  • Hold a garage sale
  • Creating an Etsy store and selling homemade goods
  • Driving for a rideshare or food delivery service
  • Giving music lessons
  • Renting out a room on Airbnb
  • Walking dogs
  • Cleaning houses
  • Babysitting
  • Handling social media for small businesses
  • Selling writing, photography, or videography services to clients

Start saving and investing, immediately – Your first financial goal should be to create an emergency fund and to establish the discipline for saving by “Paying yourself first”. To take advantage of compound interest, start investing early and regularly.

Takeaways

You can gain control of your finances by calmly sitting down, creating a budget, and determining your cash flow. This entails looking at your monthly income, as well as your average monthly spending, and seeing how it all lines up.

To create a monthly budget, you must allot funds for expenses such as rent and other bills, then sets aside a small amount directly for savings and uses the rest to live off for the month

Once you have a sense of your cash flow, you can take steps to reduce unnecessary spending, negotiate to lower monthly bills, chip away at expensive debt, and even start building a financial cushion.

References:

  1. https://www.sofi.com/learn/content/what-to-do-when-money-is-tight/
  2. https://www.usatoday.com/story/college/2012/04/25/7-steps-to-take-control-of-your-financial-future/37391767/