Tag Archives: Mindset

Gratitude Research

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Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness and a recognition that this goodness is sourced outside the self.” This doesn’t mean that life is perfect and peaceful, but when you look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages you to identify some amount of goodness and joy in your life. Dr. Robert Emmons

Research indicates that gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, reduce cardiac inflammation, increase happiness, improve relationships, and decrease depression. 

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, researcher, and author of the book Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, suggests that you “integrate gratitude into your daily life, rather than make it something you need to add to an already busy day”.

He recommends that you simply make it a point to notice opportunities that you can be thankful for and practice gratitude regularly.

Practicing gratitude can also make you better equipped to handle the difficulties of life that inevitably arise. In fact, according to Emmons, it’s an essential part of the process of healing from trauma. Even despair can be mitigated by the experience of appreciation for the good, however slight it might be.

Many survivors of the Holocaust, when asked to tell their stories, remember most strongly the feelings of gratitude for food, shelter, or clothing that was offered to them. This sense of thankfulness for the small blessings helped them maintain their humanity despite experiencing a horrific tragedy.

Additionally, many people with life-threatening illnesses also report decreased distress and increased positive emotions when they practice gratitude.

10 tips to fit gratitude in your life

Here are ten ways to become a more thankful person, according to Dr. Emmons:

  1. Every day, say aloud three good things that happened. It’s also extremely powerful to express gratitude aloud when you’re alone.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down the small things from your day that mattered to you. If you’re having a particularly rough day, you can look back through the pages of accumulated blessings in your life.
  3. Say thanks to your partner. Couples who express gratitude toward one another set up a powerful feedback loop of intimacy and trust, where both partners feel as if their needs are being met.
  4. Cool a hot temper with a quick gratitude inventory. One of the quickest ways to dispel the energy of a stormy mood is to focus your attention on what’s good. So when you’re about to lash out at someone, take a moment to do a quick inventory of five things you’re thankful for in the moment. It will help you relax and avoid saying something you’ll later regret.
  5. Thank yourself. Gratitude doesn’t always need to be focused on what other people have done for you! Make sure you give yourself a thank-you for the healthy habits you’ve cultivated in your own life.
  6. Use technology to send three gratitude messages a week. Harness the power of this technology to send out some good vibes, such as a text or Facebook comment, to tell your friends why you appreciate them.
  7. Savor the good moments. If you notice you’re feeling happy, stop what you’re doing and pay attention for a few minutes. Notice exactly how you feel, including the sensations in your body and the thoughts you’re having. Later, when you’re trying to inspire gratitude, you can remember this moment and experience the benefits all over again.
  8. Check for silver linings. Even the most difficult life challenges come with some benefit—you just have to look to find them. Making a mistake teaches you a lesson. When things feel hard, ask yourself: What’s good here?
  9. Look outward, not inward. Robert Emmons says people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude, and people who have an outward focus tend to experience stronger benefits.
  10. Change your perspective. If you struggle to come up with something to feel grateful for, put yourself in the shoes of someone who is experiencing misfortunes greater than your own. It will inspire gratitude for your own healthy body and circumstances, which you may have taken for granted otherwise.

It is vitally important to your health and overall emotional well being to cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life. Research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

References:

  1. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/making-gratitude-part-everyday-life-tips-dr-robert-emmons
  2. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/10-ways-be-more-thankful-person

Hope is a Way of Thinking…a Super Power

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Hope is a feeling of expectation, a desire or wish for a certain thing to happen.

According to psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles R. Snyder et al. (1991) hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals.

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process.” Brené Brown

In other words, hope is like a snap-shot of a person’s current goal-directed thinking, highlighting the motivated pursuit of goals and the expectation that those goals can be achieved.

Hope helps us remain committed to our goals and motivated to take action towards achieving. Hope gives people a reason to continue fighting and believing that their current circumstances will improve, despite the unpredictable nature of human existence.

As psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles Snyder et al. (2002, p. 269) stated so eloquently:

A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.

While some approaches conceptualize hope in the realm of being, that is acknowledging hope during illness and within palliative care; Snyder et al (1991) emphasized the relevance of hope in the context of doing – that is the capacity to achieve goals.

According to Snyder’s Hope Theory (Snyder, Irving, & Anderson, 1991), hopefulness is a life-sustaining human strength comprised of three distinct but related components:

  1. Goals Thinking – the clear conceptualization of valuable goals.
  2. Pathways Thinking – the capacity to develop specific strategies to reach those goals.
  3. Agency Thinking – the ability to initiate and sustain the motivation for using those strategies.

Hope does not necessarily fade in the face of adversity; in fact hope often endures despite poverty, war and famine. While no one is exempt from experiencing challenging life events, hope fosters an orientation to life that allows a grounded and optimistic outlook even in the most challenging of circumstances.

Practicing optimism has much in common with hope. Both are concerned with a positive future orientation and both assume that good things will generally occur in one’s life.

The difference is that optimism is a positive attitude about a future event that is probable and likely to occur: the optimist expects that life will work out well and as expected (Scheier & Carver, 1993).

On the other hand, being hopeful is regarded as more realistic than optimistism.

The hopeful individual recognizes that life may not always work out as planned, yet maintains positive expectancy directed toward possible outcomes that hold personal significance (Miceli & Castelfranchi, 2002)

Hope is more than just a state of mind; it is an action-oriented strength.

References:

  1. https://positivepsychology.com/hope-therapy/

C.R. Snyder was a fellow of the APA in the divisions of teaching, social and personality, clinical, and health. He worked as the director of the Clinical Psychology Program at the University of Kansas and was  the editor of the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. Snyder passed away in 2006.

The biblical definition of hope is “confident expectation.” Hope means “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen” and it is a cognitive processes or way of thinking.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (NIV)

Your Powerful Thoughts and Mind

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“You will attract to you…the very things, or the very station in life, that you create in your thoughts.” —Napoleon Hill

The most powerful tool available to you is your mind and you can attract the very things you create in your thoughts and mind, writes Napoleon Hill, America’s most followed motivational author about the principles of success. “Your thoughts singularly determine your personal outcomes in life, as well as your ability to enjoy the journey,” he opines.

In order to harness your thoughts to create the life you desire, you simply need to utilize the mental resources already within your possession, Hill concluded. You must cultivate a thorough understanding of the workings of the mind and the manner in which thoughts may be transformed into their physical counterparts.
 
In order to create positive change in your life, you must learn to harness the power of your thoughts. In particular, you must discover how to:

  • Magnetize your thought impulses with desire
  • Refine your thoughts with definiteness of purpose
  • Control and direct your emotions to productive ends
  • Support your goals with a compelling network of motives
  • Create positive thought habits through concentration and repetition
  • Protect your mind from negative external influences

The more you practice, the greater control you will have over your thoughts and emotions, which will enable you to enjoy more success in the pursuit of your definite major purpose.

Essentially, Dr. Hill wrote that there are no limitations to the mind conditioned for success and achievement.

“Try as hard as you wish and you cannot be happy unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Work with all the strength at your command and you cannot accumulate more than barely enough to live on unless you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

The one and only person in all this world through whose efforts you can be supremely happy under all circumstances, and, through whose labor you can accumulate all the material wealth that you can use legitimately, is YOURSELF!” —Napoleon Hill

By understanding and embracing the power of thought and your mind, you will be able to operate at a higher plane of thought and action, better recognizing opportunities, gaining influence, and instilling this critical quality in others.

According to Napoleon Hill (Law of Success), self-confidence is…

  • the banishment of fear
  • the acquisition of mental courage
  • a safeguard from failure and defeat
  • the foundation for high achievement
  • the secret to attracting opportunities
  • the impetus for taking action on your dreams
  • the crucial ingredient for healthy relationships
  • the key to personal freedom and joy

When you believe in your ability to succeed…you completely transform your life.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Most people take their joys and blessings for granted. Instead of focusing on their joys and blessings, they rather focus on what they do not have; or, constantly think and complain about their problems and troubles.

But, changing your focus and thoughts from problems to joy, and from what you don’t have to expressing gratitude for your many life blessings will change your life. And, a great way to change your thoughts is to appreciate and enjoy what you already have.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie

Focus on changing your thoughts and focus instead of changing the world and environment around you

It is impossible to change the world or environment around you. The best and wisest course of action is to change yourself or at least change your thoughts and attitude towards the people or situations you do not like.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.” ~ Wayne Dyer

References:

  1. https://www.amazon.com/Napoleon-Hills-Language-Thought-Publication/dp/164095242X/ref=nodl_
  2. https://www.brownleeglobal.com/working-on-your-goals-and-expressing-gratitude-everyday/
  3. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1640952349/ref=emc_b_5_mob_i
  4. https://www.purposefairy.com/66095/change-your-thoughts/

The Power of “I Am”

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Self-talk, which is also known as your inner voice, are the words and messages you repeatedly say to yourself. These words, whether they are positive or negative, strongly influence how you feel and act in your daily life.

Self talk directly and substantially influences the way you think, behave and feel. Therefore, it’s important to use positive, motivating words that are structured to help you live your best life. For example, some people say destructive and disparaging comments to and about themselves that they would never say to someone else.

What follows the two simple words, “I Am”, will determine what type of life you have and will either bring success or failure in your life, says Pastor Joel Osteen.

Instead of saying negative “I Ams”, – “I am a failure. I am never going to succeed”, say what God says you are. Declare “I am blessed, confident, loved, accepted.”

When you change your “I Ams,” your life will change for the better. The seeds of greatness on the inside will spring forth.

10 Tips to become physically/mentally/emotionally stronger:

  1. Workout and move every day, eat healthier and get adequate sleep
  2. Meditate every day and strive to live a purpose driven life
  3. Accept new challenges or try something new…keep growing.
  4. Take some time to reflect and to be mindful…and spend time reading everyday
  5. Develop positive self-talk (affirmations) and stop negative self-talk
  6. Get comfortable with and learn from rejection and failure
  7. Have a gratitude attitude daily and keep a gratitude journal
  8. Be kind to yourself and others
  9. Stop comparing yourself to others
  10. Surround yourself with positive people

References:

  1. https://www.joelosteen.com/how-to-watch/Messages/2018/04/09/20/26/The%20Power%20of%20I%20Am
  2. https://positivewordsresearch.com/thoughts-matter/

Failure is Always an Option

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“Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough.” ~ Elon Musk

Most people are afraid of failure. Yet, there is nothing new about failure, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of either. No one wants to fail at what they do, especially if it’s something they’re very invested in.

Elon Musk has a very simple way of not letting the prospect of failure get in his way, according to Jenny Medeiros at Goalcast. He doesn’t avoid failure or hope that it doesn’t happen, instead, he anticipates that it will occur.

Getting comfortable with the idea of failing isn’t easy. But there are steps, according to Medeiros, you can take to create a well-thought contingency plan when failure happens.

  1. Take a pen and paper right and write down a project you’ve always been meaning to start but haven’t due to the fear of not being successful.
  2. Now, write down the absolute worst-case scenario for that project. It could be losing money, wasting time, public embarrassment, etc.
  3. Next, break down the causes of this worst-case scenario. Then cross out the ones that are out of your control.
  4. Finally, write a contingency plan for each cause you can control. If you’re worried that no one will want to buy your designer socks, your plan could be to re-use those designs on other products like t-shirts or even notebooks.

The important thing here is to always expect and be willing to embrace failure, and be ready for it. Only then will it stop being the reason you don’t move forward with your goals.

Surrendering to failure is never the answer. Instead, learning from your mistakes is the best gift you can give yourself to improve not only whatever new invention, business venture or dream you undertake, but to evolve as individual, leader and innovator.

Musk learned from his own mistakes. He says:

“Constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.”

“The biggest lesson you can learn from Musk is to never, ever give up on your goals,” writes Bonnie Burton in an Inc Magazine article. “Life has a pesky way of placing big obstacles in your path — whether it be unmotivated employees, health emergencies, failed experiments, impostor syndrome and so many more unexpected roadblocks.”

References:

  1. https://www.goalcast.com/elon-musks-1-tactic-to-never-be-afraid-of-failure/
  2. https://www.inc.com/bonnie-burton/a-big-lesson-new-inventors-can-learn-from-elon-musks-mistakes.html

Thoughts of the Day

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Gratitude is a Super Power!

Gratitude is a choice, not just a feeling. You must choose to live a life in gratitude and therefore gratitude is an attitude and virtue. Gratitude is a virtue you choose to live your life by.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues but the parent of all the others.” Cicero (106-43bc), Roman Philosopher

Angeles Arrien wrote: “The practice of offering gratitude bestows many benefits. Anger, arrogance, and jealousy melt in its embrace. Fear and defensiveness dissolve. Gratitude diminishes barriers to love and evokes happiness, keeping alive what has meaning for us.”

Gratitude is recognizing the fact that everything good that happens in your life is a gift. Not something we’re entitled to, or should expect, but actually a very sweet gift.

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~Eckart Toll

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”– Robert Collier

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryan

“Minimalism isn’t about removing the things you love. It’s about removing the things that distract you from the things you love.” ~Joshua Becker Over

“In every season of our life, we’re tempted to focus on our present burdens and miss the opportunities and blessings.

We love it when we receive the blessing, the promotion, the new house, the baby, but with the blessing comes new burdens, responsibilities, payments, cares.

Rather than enjoy where we are on the way to where we’re going, we get so caught up in the challenges that we miss the beauty of this moment.

You could be in one of the best seasons of your life, but you don’t realize it because you’re focused on the struggles, on what you don’t like, on what’s taking so long.

At some point you have to put your foot down and say, “This is the day the Lord has made”, and I will not allow my burdens to steal my joy, my peace and my enjoyment of my blessings.

Change your perspective and attitude. Shift your focus from life’s burdens to the blessings and opportunities, from what’s wrong to what’s right, from what you don’t have to what you have.

Make the most of abundant joy and peace every day.

“Being grateful all the time isn’t easy. But it’s when you least feel thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive. It’s the quickest, easiest most powerful way to effect change in your life — this I know for sure.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

References:

  1. https://www.joelosteen.com/en-US/inspiration/todays-word/2021/03/21/20/06/Todays%20Blessings

Growing Your Gratitude

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“The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. And the more grateful you are, the more you get.” — Oprah Winfrey

By cultivating a life of gratitude, you will be able to feel joy no matter what your circumstances are. As dark as things might seem, if you can dig deep and find something to be grateful for, your whole attitude can change.

According to an article in Psychology Today, “Scientists say that these techniques (focusing on gratitude) shift our thinking from negative outcomes to positive ones, elicit a surge of feel good hormones like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, and build enduring personal connections.”

Being grateful shouldn’t be reserved for those times when it’s easy to be grateful, either. Gratitude promotes life. It’s optimistic. Practical. It takes courage and brains to be grateful.

Gratitude clears the way for positive choice and change. It motivates and moves you into a higher place so you feel better. Hopeful. Strong.

When you appreciate things you’re kinder. Gratitude boosts you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Gratitude helps you build wealth

Nourishing yourself with gratitude makes you feel stronger, more alert and alive. It builds up and strengthens your entire body, mind and spirit.

Six strategic steps to fill up your gratitude account:

  1. Call it “intentional gratitude” or “conscious appreciation” but build a new habit of expressing gratitude frequently. It will make you feel fortunate, powerful and kind.
  2. Create a specific daily mantra for yourself — a prayer, wish, vow or commitment —
    ‘I am grateful for_______________’. Have it in your mind. Say it to people. Write it in notes and emails.
  3. “Thank you” takes one second to say. Consciously look to express it and do good things often. Don’t miss an opportunity to be grateful.
  4. Start a Daily Gratitude Journal – Write 3 things you’re grateful for every night before bed.
  5. How does gratitude live in the world? Look for examples in music, art, literature, daily life, history, people you see and know.
  6. Acknowledge negativity and counter it with genuine appreciation and thanks.

“Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships…regardless of the inherent or current level of someone’s gratitude, it’s a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.”

References:

  1. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/grow-your-gratitude-six-easy-steps-for-smart-people_b_5760096
  2. https://www.aplanforjoyinthehome.com/grow-in-gratitude/
  3. https://www.seventeen.com/life/a37198250/gratitude-quotes/

Major Definite Purpose

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“A man without a definite major purpose is as helpless as a ship without a compass.” – Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill emphasized in his book “Think and Grow Rich” that the first step of learning how to “Think and Grow Rich” is figuring out what you desire more than anything else – and then coming up with a plan to act on it.

Hill puts a great importance on individuals deciding on a definite major purpose. Yet, it’s not unheard of for people to get stuck on this first step.

In fact, the #1 question that most ask is: “How do I determine what my definite major purpose is? I just don’t know what it is I want to do!”

It is said widely that ninety-five percent of the people of the world drift through life aimlessly without definite purposes for their lives.

Psychological reason for having a definite purpose in life implies that one’s actions are determined by the thoughts of one’s mind. Therefore, if you deliberately hold your definite purpose in your mind with the expectation of it realization, this will permeate your subconscious mind to the point where it will automatically influence the actions needed to achieve your definite purpose.

Once you determine your definite purpose, make sure that it is well-defined. You must write it down and place it where you can see it as soon as you open your eyes in the morning and the last thing that you see before you close your eyes at night.

What is your Life’s Mission? What is the number one purpose in your life? Why are you here? What are the most important accomplishments you desire? And what are you willing to give in return for them? 

What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail, asks Brian Tracy?

“If you could be absolutely guaranteed of successfully achieving any goal, large or small, short term or long term, what one goal would it be?  Whatever you answer to this question, if you can write it down, you can probably achieve it.  From then on, the only question you should ask is, ‘How?’  The only real limit is how badly you want it and how long you are willing to work toward it.” Brian Tracy

Once you know your bigger purpose, it’s easier to figure out your next actions.  And, when you know your bigger purpose, it can help you funnel your time, talent, energy, and effort into something that really matters to you.

Definite Purpose:

If you cannot see the end of the journey, you cannot plot the course to that destination.

Thus, it’s essential to determine “The one goal that is most important to you at the moment. It is usually the one goal that will help you to achieve more of your other goals than anything else you can accomplish,” Tracy writes. In his, “6 Attributes of Your Major Definite Purpose,” Tracy writes:

  1. Your major definite purpose must be something that you personally really want, excites you and makes you happy.
  2. Your major definite purpose must be clear and specific.  You must be able to define it in words and must be able to write it down.
  3. Your major definite purpose must be measurable and quantifiable.
  4. Your major definite purpose must be both believable and achievable.
  5. Your major definite purpose should have a reasonable probability of success.
  6. Your major definite purpose must be in harmony with your other goals and aligned with your values.

“Decide now what you desire from life and what you have to give in return.”

To achieve success, you have know exactly what you want and what you are willing to give-up in return….success and achievement are a two-way street.

References:

  1. https://sourcesofinsight.com/major-definite-purpose/
  2. https://www.mavericonsulting.com/news/2018/12/14/what-is-definiteness-of-purpose-and-why-is-it-so-importantnbsp
  3. https://thinkandgrowrichinstitute.com/definite-major-purpose/

Since 1937, over 120 million copies of Think & Grow Rich have been sold, and it’s the #1 book most people who have successfully built wealth credit with their success.

Failure has to be part of Growth

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Failure has to be part of growth.

“As a company grows, everything needs to scale, including the size of your failed experiments. If the size of your failures isn’t growing, you’re not going to be inventing at a size that can actually move the needle,” Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon wrote in his 2018 annual letter to shareholders.

This tolerance for failure is deeply ingrained in Amazon’s culture. It’s a point Bezos has made every year since the very first Amazon shareholder letter in 1997.

“We will continue to measure our programs and the effectiveness of our investments analytically, to jettison those that do not provide acceptable returns, and to step up our investment in those that work best. We will continue to learn from both our successes and our failures.”

References:

  1. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/22/jeff-bezos-why-you-cant-feel-bad-about-failure.html
  2. https://www.businessinsider.com/how-amazon-ceo-jeff-bezos-thinks-about-failure-2016-5